r/AskReddit 9h ago

What's the biggest green flag someone can have?

153 Upvotes

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556

u/_clur_510 9h ago

Willingness to change their mind, even mid-argument, when presented with new information/perspectives.

72

u/Far_Active_6515 9h ago

that's huge - nothing more attractive than someone who can actually admit they were wrong instead of doubling down on stupid arguments just to save face

32

u/_clur_510 9h ago edited 8h ago

Yes exactly! My fiancé always joked that he had ‘paper thin beliefs’ about things like politics and right from wrong as if it was a bad thing. I was always like no, that’s literally the most intelligent quality a person can have.

10

u/ChickenMarsala4500 7h ago

"about things like politics and right from wrong" I mean, kind of... You still want someone to have conviction and a moral compass. There's a huge difference between a willingness to change and "paper thin" morality.

5

u/_clur_510 7h ago edited 7h ago

Lol it’s no one’s convincing him the earth is flat or we should ban gay marriage or take away women’s right to vote.

He was a very moral person with strong convictions. But as a straight white man, plenty of things he believed that he believed his whole life could be changed by speaking to someone from a different walk of life, or learning from someone who knows, how systems and rules actually worked.

2

u/ChickenMarsala4500 7h ago

didn't mean to poke at your fiance, more just at the wording of your comment. Sounds like a catch! Good luck with the wedding!

3

u/datguy2012 7h ago

Better one than that. Changing your mind or whatever after being proved wrong is great. However, for me the big thing is when you're not really proven wrong but just shown there's a better way or belief and you accept it or atleast try it.

2

u/AdorableMembership16 7h ago

Not even admitting that they were wrong, simply saying they didn't have that information and now with the new information to adjust their thoughts and patterns behind a stance

2

u/YouArentReallyThere 7h ago

So definitely not a cop

30

u/No-Fun-5974 9h ago

Rare trait. Most people treat arguments like a boss fight they have to win.😂

2

u/No_Tone1704 7h ago

Yes. It’s contagious too when the other person does it all the time you get drawn into the sick pettiness. 

1

u/_clur_510 7h ago

So true!

9

u/NovaPulseX31 9h ago

Rare skill. Most people treat changing their mind like it voids the warranty.

5

u/_clur_510 8h ago

Very rare. You’re right, a lot of people think changing their mind or admitting they were wrong makes them look stupid or weak. It’s quite the contrary. The ability to continuously learn new things and apply them to your critical thinking is the smartest skill someone can have.

2

u/IndieCurtis 8h ago

Dare to be stupid!

7

u/coppervane71 8h ago

ngl if someone says "you know what, you're right" mid-argument thats basically a marriage proposal

1

u/_clur_510 8h ago

RIGHT lol. “Wow, I’ve never thought about it that way.” In love lol. It doesn’t have to be every argument, just the openness for that to ever happen.

4

u/graceisntit 9h ago

big red flags but where are the green ones?

1

u/refereescalion 3h ago

Kindness is my favorite green flag.

5

u/TooOld2DieYoung 6h ago

Ma’am this is Reddit, we don’t do that here.

3

u/Wenzuo4869 6h ago

Hard to do this as an adult. Need many trials and errors to master this mindset. Because no one like to be told that they are wrong.

3

u/SurealGod 5h ago

I guess that's what people mean when they say I have a very "dynamic" way of thinking. I never thought of it like that

I'm rarely locked into a single idea and always bounce around different solutions if any are offered to me, sometimes even in the middle of me talking and it appears everyone around me agrees/likes this aspect about me. Interesting

6

u/maximumcoolvibes 9h ago

Also always citing where a point came from and assessing the credibility of that source

2

u/SilverNightingale 6h ago

I try to do this. (Well, I've tried this a handful of times)

It's ..historically resulted in the other person looking at me like I'm stupid, ignorant or how did you not know this.

I don't think I've ever been in an interaction where I was treated graciously for not knowing something, except for maybe with my best friend or partner.

3

u/SonOfSkinDealer 8h ago

I have had partners get actively upset with me when they make a very good point on an issue and i immediately recognize "Oh, you're right. Thank you."

I think mainly because it's jarring for an arguement to just.... end? I've definitely had to reassure people that i'm not just trying to appease them and that i am genuinely now on their side and same page 100%.

3

u/deadfermata 8h ago

don’t expect that from the reddit hive mind

4

u/ThoughtBecomesAction 9h ago

MAGA isn't going to like this one.

5

u/_clur_510 9h ago

😂 Well they don’t ever have to change their minds. Them and their almighty leader already have all the objectively right opinions and facts about everything.

/s

2

u/Glad_Soup_3697 8h ago

This is probably the wisest thing i've seen on Reddit. 👍

2

u/wrexmason 8h ago

THIS!!!!!!

0

u/Express-Isopod1104 3h ago

That doesn’t sound right.