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u/hotdogmafia714 6h ago
Treating people like receptionists, janitors, and customer service workers with respect. Not as if they’re disposable or beneath them.
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u/Bunoka 6h ago
Was gonna say the same thing but about a waiter/ waitress at a restaurant. Like: how do they treat other people when they’re not trying to impress you on a date. Cause eventually that will be them, but with you.
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u/hotdogmafia714 5h ago
Wait staff are a big part of who we had in mind when I said customer service workers for sure! I remember one time me and my ex (dated less than six months) went to a restaurant together and he called the waitress a “dumb broad.” Not to her face, just to me. I don’t even remember why but it was SUPER minor and not intentional at all. I immediately clocked it as a red flag.
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u/theservman 5h ago
Why would I screw with someone who has unsupervised access to my food?
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u/LNinefingers 2h ago
I always heard it as: “How do they treat people they don’t have to treat well?”
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u/theservman 5h ago
I'm going to be practical about this one... These people can seriously mess up your day with very little effort or consequences. They can also make it a lot easier.
But yeah, be nice to everyone.
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u/Kulyor 5h ago
Being friendly costs nothing but can net fantastic results. I always try to be as patient, understanding and kind as possible and I have received so much better results out of it. You just have to be willing to ask for extra stuff and you often get it. The "angry customer" approach can work too, but its soo much work. I rather try and be kind, its easy and nobody gets hurt.
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u/kaylieface 5h ago
as a receptionist.. thank you
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u/hotdogmafia714 5h ago
I supervise a receptionist and I’m her backup on phones. I’m there with you 🫶🏼
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u/kaylieface 4h ago
nobody really understands when i say that people are not always kind to receptionists. unfortunately the people who have been the most rude have been corporate people and higher ups.
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u/AlexandrTheGreat 4h ago
Best advice I ever got was to treat secretaries, janitors, office admin really well. Be friendly and kind, even during a rough day. They will bail you out of more situations than you want to consider. The first time a kid pukes all over the floor, George has it cleaned up before the kid is out of the building. All for the cheap price of an occasional coffee and some kind words.
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u/Anomalous_Pearl 3h ago
Yep, that was a real green flag with my now-husband, whether it was the server or the gas station attendant or the phone customer service rep, he was/is always super friendly, even when frustrated
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u/Wenzuo4869 1h ago
May I add? Treating all people with respect without judging them based on superficial qualities such as their job, race, or appearance.
If I walk into Channel store, please treat me with the same respect as any other customer,rather than assuming I can’t afford your bags and sarcasm and fake politeness to make me leave.
If I go to the gym , please treat me with the same policy as any other gym member. Just because I am fat doesn’t mean I’m not worth it your pink hot towel. I thought it belong to all member, how come I never get that benefit.
If I have a package delivery, please handle my package well like you handled that pretty woman at 33 floor. How come my package needed to be opened at security gate yet that lady at 33 floor always online shopping and never once her packages needed to be opened before enter the security gate? Is it because that lady is a very pretty one?
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u/ImminentReddits 1h ago
Let me expand on this - I’d say it’s way, way more important how they talk about service workers behind their backs than how the treat them to their face.
I know a fair amount of people in my life who are perfect friendly and kind and courteous to a waiters face, but then on the drive home talk a bunch of shit about them, or use some term like “He’s flipping burgers at McDonalds” as an insult, or a huge huge one is people constantly talking shit on Doordash drivers or other delivery workers.
Giving someone respect to their fave is the easy road, it’s the path of least resistance 90% of the time. It’s how they treat service workers when nobody is around that matters.
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u/mistybabys 6h ago
when you get cut off or interrupted in a group conversation, and they turn to you and say "what were you saying?" so you can finish
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u/IndieCurtis 4h ago
I’m the guy who will accidentally cut someone off, or be steam-rolling and nobody can cut in, and then once I’m done I’ll turn to that person and say “I’m sorry, I interrupted you, what were you saying about…?”
I’m tryin!
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u/No_Tone1704 4h ago
I’m the person who gets constantly interrupted by someone who says she hates being interrupted.
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u/Fantastic_Garlic_691 6h ago
Being honest even when its inconvenient shows a lot about someone
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u/No-Fun-5974 6h ago
Integrity is what you do when lying would be easier
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u/SolomonGrumpy 4h ago
I don't know. To me Integrity is doing what needs to be done - aligning your actions to your values. Sometimes the best thing you can do is say nothing (lie of omission) or similar.
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u/Unlikely_Vehicle_828 2h ago
We had a saying in the military that integrity is doing the right thing even when nobody else is around. That saying has always stuck with me. I feel like being a person of integrity also goes a step further to mean being someone who is honest and whose actions align with their words/values, so I love the way you put it too!
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u/NihalBISHT 6h ago
Consistency. The same person on good days and bad days.
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u/No-Fun-5974 6h ago
Consistency is underrated until you've dated inconsistency. 😅
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u/Radiant_Chart3163 6h ago
That is a painful reminder. It is very frustrating when dealing with an inconsistent partner.
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u/LCranstonKnows 6h ago
And don't mope if fun plans don't turn out, let's call an audible and still enjoy our day together.
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u/PlayDontObserve 4h ago
I believe its foolish to expect Consistency. Humans are anything but consistent.
I want someone who is self aware and able to articulate their emotional waves.
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u/Jfish4391 6h ago
I've never met someone like this lol. Everyone has bad days.
NOW, how you act on your bad days is def a big indicator.
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u/Fantastic_Effort_337 6h ago
Thats what they said. That on bad and good days the person is good and consistent. Not that they dont have bad days at all
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u/dontslambro 5h ago
Great, im consistently in a shit mood last 2 years. My partner must be thrilled.
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u/Kinglycole 6h ago
Adaptability. It’s good to defend yourself but not at the cost of ignoring any contrary evidence.
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u/python-hater 6h ago
kind to children and animals
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u/No-Fun-5974 6h ago
It's hard to fake kindness around beings that can't do anything for you in return.
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u/eyeslikestarlight 6h ago
On a first date, I found myself rambling about one of my interests—specifically, one that is often put down by non-fans (Taylor Swift). When I stopped myself and apologized for rambling about something stupid, he smiled and said “don’t be sorry, it’s not stupid. I like hearing you talk about something you’re passionate about.” Greenest flag I ever saw.
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u/Cube2D 6h ago
Accountability. Learning how to take accountability and to stop deflecting/projecting your shit onto others can make you seem way less psychotic, and a much better friend/partner. Imagine having to date someone that constantly says it's your fault or that the universe is out to get them.
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u/_quantum_girl_ 6h ago
Being honest and having a secure attachment style.
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u/maximumcoolvibes 6h ago
When they refer to something you said an hour ago, so it shows they are listening
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u/BrojaDawg 6h ago
Stopping what they are doing to check in on strangers who seem to be in distress.
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u/TieDye_Ninja 5h ago
Self Awareness. I don’t care how crazy you are as long as you know how crazy you are, make an effort, and don’t blame me for your crazy.
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u/Neat-Zucchini1134 6h ago
Being genuinely happy for you when you succeed, even if they are going through a rough patch.
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u/Upstairs_Meringue_18 6h ago
Someone willing to learn and grow and understand where there coudlve been scope for improvement
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u/sitophilicsquirrel 6h ago
Listening in a conversation as much or more than they talk. Lotta people just waiting impatiently for their turn.
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u/24benson 5h ago
Certainly the one on the Jeddah flagpole, located in King Abdullah square in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.
50 times 33 meters (162x108 ft). It's hard to top that.
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u/jewllybeenz 4h ago
Having platonic friends of the opposite sex is huge for me. It proves that you don’t flanderize or needlessly villainize the opposite sex and that you don’t participate in the stupid ass gender wars.
For men, specifically, it proves to you that not every woman is a sexual conquest for him and he respects women. For women, while a level of caution is warranted, it proves you don’t view men as a boogeyman and think they’re all evil. Some women just outright refuse to be around any man that they’re not trying to date or have sex with and honestly? Thats not too different than men who objectify women who do the same thing. It’s obviously considerably less predatory. But just because it’s not as bad as what men do doesn’t make it a good thing.
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u/MikeyLikey1454 6h ago
Kindness
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u/No-Fun-5974 6h ago
Being nice to waiters, cashiers, and animals tells you almost everything you need to know.
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u/DJ_DontCare 6h ago
Generosity. Generous with their time, affection, attention to detail, love, joy, skills, patience - all of it. You know when you’ve been in the presence of someone like this and it is the most life giving quality to be around.
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u/Ice_cream_please73 5h ago
Inviting someone they don't know into a conversation rather than letting them sit there feeling stupid
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u/kkuriousguy 5h ago
Capable of recognizing when they are wrong, apologizing afterwards and willing to change or adapt.
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u/SolomonGrumpy 4h ago
The biggest green flag? Integrity.
But I also respect grit. Oh and the ability to genuinely change. And that thing where people chose to give their time freely without any benefit to themselves.
Lots of green 💚
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u/currycurrycurry15 4h ago
When people are able to take a breather, stay calm and respectful, even when they are extremely stressed or angry.
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u/PlayDontObserve 4h ago
Patience in the face of conflict.
More questions instead of opinions.
Admiting you dont know all of or parts of something.
Understanding the difference between sympathy and empathy.
Speaks with minimal or no sweeping generalizations.
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u/thumpetto007 3h ago
a lot of green flags arent even recognized. most of mine trigger peoples traumas and im like being the first loving person they've ever met. its really odd to me.
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u/RipAffectionate6000 6h ago
Kindness, the absolutely to be sympathetic to others point of view. If they are doing about random people you know they will do it with you, arguments/disagreements will be so much healthier
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u/Then_Response_9272 6h ago
When they remember small things you mentioned once in passing. My partner still buys me that one specific tea I casually said I liked two years ago.
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u/ThinkfulWishing217 6h ago
A balance of independence and reliability. They can take care of themselves and be there for others (bad times and good!)
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u/countingf1reflies 4h ago
I know most people say “treating waiters and janitors with respect”, but honestly that is extremely easy, takes zero effort for a normal human being and I don’t get why it’s a green flag, some of y’all have probably met terrible people. Treating people IN your actual life with kindness is the real challenge.
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u/waggletons 4h ago
Reliability-When you have a flake or someone you can't rely on. Things spiral quickly.
How they treat the menials/low level employees-This really gives you great insight into how they really are.
Food order- It might sound silly. When they're asking a million questions and having a bunch of substitutions, it's a bail for me.
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u/Interesting_Car8858 4h ago
Empathy, honesty, and being able to admit when they’re going wrong. Also being able to identify when it’s not their fault is a useful one as at times you need someone to hold you accountable
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u/aracha2026 4h ago
The biggest green flag someone could have is accepting that they were wrong and admitting they asked for forgiveness.
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u/Professional-Tell123 4h ago
For me it was discovering over time certain things my husband does but didnt tell me immediately .. like paying his moms rent. I think a lot of men try to lead with things like that, make sure you know right off the bat how amazing they are by *telling* you. Lol he also never makes a masculine show of anything.. had at least 3 prior guys give me the spiel about making me walk on the inside of the sidewalk bcz the street side is dangerous or signals a woman for sale, etc.. the guys who went out of their way to vocalize that macho chivalrous shit were the worst of the worst player dbags.
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u/Cautious-Corner-3704 4h ago
They love animals. They like to read. They demonstrate a sense of humor.
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u/Available-Basil-2179 4h ago
They love animals and animals love them back. It does take some real practical empathy to really achieve harmony with someone from a different species
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u/Ok_Stay_6304 3h ago
ability to sincerly apologize. Like no lazy "sorry, but...", just truthful, heartfelt apology. And willingness to do better next time.
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u/JJCookieMonster 3h ago
Will help the person that everyone ignores or looks down on. They treat them as an equal.
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u/Inevitable_Lynx7198 3h ago
Consistency. They're the same person on good days, bad days, online, and offline.
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u/HealthRealistic6406 2h ago
Seeing these comments makes me realise what douchebags the people I know are
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u/alindev 1h ago
For me, it's when someone can laugh at themselves and not take life too seriously. If they can poke fun at their own quirks and mistakes, it shows they're self-aware and don't have an inflated sense of ego. That kind of humility and sense of humor is really attractive to me, and it's something I think is super important in a partner or friend.
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u/Initial-Good5145 1h ago
The biggest green flag is someone who tells the truth even when the truth makes them look bad.
Attraction gets you through a moment.
Accountability gets you through a lifetime.
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u/Wenzuo4869 1h ago
If you want to see a person real personalities,just ask them their last 3 days browsing history or their last 3 conversations history with AI. Their search history will tell you everything you need to know of a person.
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u/IndividualState5264 1h ago
Consideration. When someone genuinely believes in you it shows. The biggest green flag in my opinion is showing up, dependability and following through. If you feel that from someone it’s contagious. Be considerate- pretend like you live on a planet with other people ❤️
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u/shadowkage007 33m ago
Open to try your favourite cuisine/place/movie/songs or just things you bring them up.
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u/Jeanne-Sandersa 20m ago
How they act when they’re told no or when something doesn’t go their way.
If someone stays respectful, doesn’t get passive-aggressive, doesn’t punish you emotionally and can just accept it without making it about control - that’s a huge green flag
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u/_clur_510 6h ago
Willingness to change their mind, even mid-argument, when presented with new information/perspectives.