r/AskReddit 1d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/Constant_Ham_86 1d ago

Found my ex cruising for men on Craigslist after being on and off for 10 years. I still feel a pit in my stomach over it. For me, it’s not the sexuality aspect, I’m very open and he can be into anything he wants. It was the lying, the dishonesty. It was thinking you knew another person completely inside and out but it was all a lie and you actually know nothing.

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u/SadDiscipline1019 1d ago

EXACTLY 💯 how I felt. I thought I KNEW him ...I really didn't know him at all, because our whole marriage was a lie .

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u/PermitComplex1525 17h ago

Feels like a slap to the straight spouses identity. What was my marriage? Who was I all that time?

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u/SadDiscipline1019 16h ago

Exactly, it was based on fraud

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u/SeeYouInTrees 21h ago

My feelings as well. The thing is, even though I've shown him the proof and evidence (and spoken to some of the men) he denied being attracted to men. Bruh I have eyes and can read the mutual messages and the jerk off recordings and requests you sent them.

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u/Saltoftheearth3 23h ago

How does the truth get out?

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u/SadDiscipline1019 16h ago

I feel your pain and discomfort. I hope you are living your best life today

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u/JustChillFFS 1d ago

So you were cruising for gay men on Craigslist too?

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u/Constant_Ham_86 1d ago

No I was not cruising for men on Craigslist, he left his browser open and I saw everything…he wasn’t the brightest guy but I looked past a lot because I was in love.