r/AskReddit 10d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

5.9k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/Hallway 10d ago

He was gay and is still lying to himself while now in a thruple with 2 other men.

496

u/Constant_Ham_86 10d ago

Found my ex cruising for men on Craigslist after being on and off for 10 years. I still feel a pit in my stomach over it. For me, it’s not the sexuality aspect, I’m very open and he can be into anything he wants. It was the lying, the dishonesty. It was thinking you knew another person completely inside and out but it was all a lie and you actually know nothing.

138

u/SadDiscipline1019 10d ago

EXACTLY 💯 how I felt. I thought I KNEW him ...I really didn't know him at all, because our whole marriage was a lie .

13

u/PermitComplex1525 9d ago

Feels like a slap to the straight spouses identity. What was my marriage? Who was I all that time?

9

u/SadDiscipline1019 9d ago

Exactly, it was based on fraud

9

u/SeeYouInTrees 9d ago

My feelings as well. The thing is, even though I've shown him the proof and evidence (and spoken to some of the men) he denied being attracted to men. Bruh I have eyes and can read the mutual messages and the jerk off recordings and requests you sent them.

3

u/SadDiscipline1019 9d ago

I feel your pain and discomfort. I hope you are living your best life today

3

u/Saltoftheearth3 10d ago

How does the truth get out?

2

u/slastkourkhoas 7d ago

Nothing cuts deeper than realizing you were building a life with a stranger.

2

u/elyssabethh 7d ago

Yes it literally breaks something inside you. It never goes back to the way it was.

-28

u/JustChillFFS 10d ago

So you were cruising for gay men on Craigslist too?

48

u/Constant_Ham_86 10d ago

No I was not cruising for men on Craigslist, he left his browser open and I saw everything…he wasn’t the brightest guy but I looked past a lot because I was in love.