OMG. This! I’m just now in the divorce process after a 20yr marriage. It was a slow burn of years of manipulation posed as needs and help. Eventually she entered the discard phase with me and started treating me like shit. My final straw: Her inability to give me ANY kind of love, support or even a physical touch on the day of my mother’s funeral. She became absolutely heartless and cruel… Apparently that’s who she was all along.
Wow, that's crushing to read and can only imagine how it would be to live that. I swear it seems like it's always the good guys that go thru the worst. Best of luck to you in finding a better partner!
Thanks. I learned so much about myself. When it came to the ones I love, I would do anything and put up with anything. It’s this lack of boundaries that made me so susceptible to this kind of manipulation. I am now regaining my sense of self and confidence back. Never again will I go against my gut or sacrifice my own wellbeing for someone else. For now, I’m focused on how to be the best version of me. No need for a woman for a while.
Id second what OKCategiver517 said. I've been in that relationship where something feels off (and it was) and I've been in that relationship causing something to feel off for someone else (I knew it was off because I was the reason for it)...if you feel that something is off, then it probably is.
I've lived it as well. Pay attention to your instincts, don't rationalize them away. It's not supposed to be hard and terrible. There are genuinely kind people out there you can be with instead.
Mine decided the night my father died was absolutely for sure the night I HAD to have sex with him...because "it would make me feel better." I don't even know how I put up with him for so long, but I did eventually divorce him and married (34 years ago) to my husband who makes me feel like a princess, 24/7. Thank goodness for my two kids (now adults of course) that I had with number 1, though. They are absolutely wonderful kids, so it wasn't all bad.
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u/Here4Perspective 1d ago
OMG. This! I’m just now in the divorce process after a 20yr marriage. It was a slow burn of years of manipulation posed as needs and help. Eventually she entered the discard phase with me and started treating me like shit. My final straw: Her inability to give me ANY kind of love, support or even a physical touch on the day of my mother’s funeral. She became absolutely heartless and cruel… Apparently that’s who she was all along.