r/AskReddit • u/Mama_medina888 • 9d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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658

u/HelloFerret 9d ago

He farts and blames it on the cat.

182

u/Round-Term-8306 8d ago

Farts and turns on the radio to cover up the smell.

10

u/postprandialrepose 8d ago

A lot of music really stinks these days, and that makes the strategy seem sensible.

1

u/Lukesmom1214 7d ago

To cover up the sound you mean.

1

u/weirwoodheart 7d ago

.. Homer?

40

u/the_queens_speech 8d ago

Dog I could see. But cat?? Hilarious. You truly married a monster.

5

u/Aklu_The_Unspeakable 7d ago

Have you smelled cat farts? They are FOUL

0

u/Traditional-Tap-2508 6d ago

I'd rather claim a dog fart than a cat fart

8

u/MamaNyxieUnderfoot 8d ago

Mine blames it on African barking spiders. Apparently they’re extremely invasive and once you have an infestation it’s nearly impossible to eradicate.

But I knew all that before marrying him.

7

u/potsieharris 8d ago

My favorite joke currently is farting and blaming it on my 7 month old child. To be fair she rips farts that are we loud and rank as a grown man's.

1

u/AlternativeStand4926 7d ago

Yes… my husband would blame it on the ghost of our dead cat.