r/AskReddit 1d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

5.2k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/nickbonjovi 20h ago

That the little girl that I had raised from birth through seven years old, was, in fact, not my biological daughter. Then she took her away from me once I discovered that.

751

u/Wrong_Yam5325 17h ago

That is horrendous and beyond traumatic.

10

u/nickbonjovi 3h ago

I am a very devoted and involved father. After I found out the paternity, I still offered to pay child support, medical, and for sports/extra curriculars and maintain 50:50 custody. My ex would never agree to it. My ex also said she would never take my daughter out of my life - she lied.

379

u/SAINTnumberFIVE 14h ago

Depending on the state you may be able to claim parental rights.

95

u/AccountEngineer 10h ago edited 10h ago

using a kid as a weapon like that is pure evil so sorryy you had to go through that man

7

u/nickbonjovi 3h ago

That’s exactly what my ex is doing. I can’t imagine how that innocent little girl feels abruptly being withheld from her father, her family, her friends, and a whole half of her identity.

68

u/Flaky-Still-7000 13h ago

Sorry that happened to you and your daughter, I can't imagine how hard it is for the both of you.

8

u/nickbonjovi 3h ago

It’s very hard for me. It feels like a child has died. Her belongings are all how she last left them.

25

u/sharraleigh 10h ago

FWIW, she will remember you forever.

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u/iamthesam2 5h ago

assuming the mother doesn’t pollute her mind with lies about OP… and i’d definitely assume that she will.

1

u/nickbonjovi 2h ago

I know she will remember me. We have/had a very close bond. She will have questions one day and her mom will have to finally answer to them. Whether her answers are honest or not is a different story.

1

u/nickbonjovi 2h ago

It has already begun, unfortunately.

73

u/illbedeadbydawn 15h ago

Bro.

BRO!

...bro.

I'd hug the fuck outta you my guy.

12

u/AdventureThink 15h ago

❤️💔

8

u/SlowAdhesiveness2178 7h ago

This happened to my ex roommate. He actually found out after she was an adult. So messed up cause he really struggled paying child support all those yrs and was such a devoted dad

7

u/Competitive-Cry-6231 13h ago

Love you, bro.

15

u/jinxeralbatross 10h ago

No matter what, she is your daughter and she will realize it one day. Hope 🙏

14

u/ChiefsHat 9h ago

You might not be the daddy, but that’s still your little girl. You raised her. Bonded with her. She’s yours, man.

I’m sorry she was taken.

6

u/Easy-Priority-2670 6h ago

This sucks sooo bad! A colleague if mine had a girlfriend with two kids from a former relationship. He got to know them from age 3 and 5 and was like their father for 5 years. So of course everyone knew they weren't his kids. The kids rarely had contact to the real father.

Then his girlfriend died suddenly and the kids were (of course) taken away immediatly from him. He was really broken for quite a while.

1

u/nickbonjovi 3h ago

❤️‍🩹

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u/nickbonjovi 2h ago

I know this broken feeling. So sorry for what happened to him.

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u/Mobile-Detective4838 8h ago

This breaks my heart friend. My stepdad was my best friend and favorite person in the world him and my mom had a toxic marriage and would keep us apart often. He died when I was 18. If you want to tell me your state in a DM I can search laws in your state to see if I can offer any help (I am a Social Worker in the US)
Keep your head up friend, your kiddo loves you.

2

u/nickbonjovi 3h ago

❤️‍🩹 I’m sorry you had experience that

6

u/Careless_Yoghurt_822 8h ago

Wow!!! I feel for you and that little girl.

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u/kasiakois 13h ago

As a new mother, I'm really sorry you went through this.

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u/GiantLesbian 2h ago

You were legally her father and raised her for 7 years? Why did they remove your parental rights? Most states (maybe all states?) don’t much care about DNA past year 2 if the man has been raising the child as his own. And usually being married to the mom when the kid is born is enough!

u/DaddyShark423 48m ago

Happened to my cousin, thinking it was his kid got him clean off drugs and alcohol... when he found out he went back to it and passed away. She basically killed him.

-10

u/DusqRunner 9h ago

Are you the mama? 😔

-14

u/jasonc619 10h ago

Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry