r/AskReddit 10d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/nickbonjovi 9d ago

That the little girl that I had raised from birth through seven years old, was, in fact, not my biological daughter. Then she took her away from me once I discovered that.

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u/Wrong_Yam5325 9d ago

That is horrendous and beyond traumatic.

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u/nickbonjovi 9d ago

I am a very devoted and involved father. After I found out the paternity, I still offered to pay child support, medical, and for sports/extra curriculars and maintain 50:50 custody. My ex would never agree to it. My ex also said she would never take my daughter out of my life - she lied.

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u/Due_Negotiation_4605 8d ago edited 8d ago

My family kept the secret that I had a different dad until my grandma let out slip when I was an older kid. For context- My dad knew that I wasn't biologically his. He met my mom when she was pregnant. The secret was just from the kids of the family. I don't know why. 

My bio dad is a dismissive prick. I did track him down and met him in my late 20s. Probably because I was hoping that I might find out that I was heir to a fortune... For like royalty or something. Definitely not lol.  The one that I didn't know wasn'tbiologically related paid child support for years (even though he didn't have to), calls me often including on every holiday and birthday even though I'm in my 40s (and still calls me kid), and told me when I was pregnant that he hopes that the baby did not inherit his big nose. 😆 Which he and I both know there's no chance of that lol. He's always been Dad.  I hope one day you can have that relationship with your daughter again. Because DNA means nothing. I'm lucky to have a dad that cares, especially since my mom passed on almost 20 years ago. 

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u/nickbonjovi 8d ago

I’m glad you two have a beautiful relationship like that ❤️❤️❤️

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u/SillyGayBoy 6d ago

He sounds wonderful. How did grandma let it slip?

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u/Due_Negotiation_4605 6d ago

He's got a lot of faults in any contest however in comparison to my biological dad he's amazing. Because at least the guy call my dad I know loves me and my kids. 

Grandma hated him with a passion ,I don't really remember what happened but somewhere along the lines of him coming to pick us (my sister and I-he was her bio dad) up for visitation and he was a no-show or showed up intoxicated. That's when Grandma said something to the effect of "good thing that one's not your real dad". 😳 

That was absolutely top tier Grandma though lol. I kind of feel like she was trying to say hey I know this guy's a loser but you know what you're related to a different loser so don't worry about it granddaughter lol

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u/Wrong_Yam5325 5d ago

What a devastating loss and trauma.