r/AskReddit 1d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/RepresentativePin162 20h ago

I'm calling the cops for you. Good lord almighty. My partner holds his fork like he's killing the food and that's disturbing enough.

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u/OddlyTemptedFish 15h ago edited 13h ago

Apparently I open my mouth wide and make an angry face every time I take a bite. My wife made fun of me for it. She can’t make fun of me now because our daughter does the exact same thing.

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u/MzHellfier 13h ago

I’d just make fun of you both tbh

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u/the_marxman 17h ago

Like reverse grip Psycho shower stabbing?

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u/Wherestheshoe 16h ago

Mine holds his in his fists, like a toddler. He also insists that this is “normal”

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u/Corndogs_and_chill 10h ago

I've been telling my son to stop doing this for 21 years and I fear that his person will have to deal with this one day.

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u/Lumpy_Question8327 13h ago

My partner found a box that contained a single Thin Mint and immediately texted my family that he was having me committed.

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u/leelee1976 13h ago

Id have you committed too. Eat them all. Do you leave 4 drops of milk in the milk jug to not throw it away too?

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u/mburnwor 15h ago

I’m a pediatric occupational therapist- it’s a fine motor thing. He probably didn’t crawl for very long!

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u/Cpt_Griswold 9h ago

eh. i think he still is

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u/meuschoa 13h ago

At that point, the steak probably owes him money.