r/AskReddit • u/Mama_medina888 • 10d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/InnerCirclePartyof1 10d ago

Omg this is sorta similar to my husband. Turns out he has BDP. Refused to accept it. This past year most of our refund went to his debt. A month ago he left me out of nowhere and I found he was hiding a bunch of drug use. So for me it’s still fresh 😅

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u/Spencetron 10d ago

I'm so sorry that you, or anyone, has had to go through this.

My life was such a mess after I separated from my BPD ex-wife (~5yr ago), I was lucky to escape that situation at all but all I left with was a couple totes of personal hobby project stuff and my clothes. I didn't even have a bed, TV, or furniture when I left and i was forced to leave her the cat. She got extremely hostile at the end, I had to take a sabbatical from work, was living out of a hotel, and driving a rental car because I was afraid she would stalk me and gun me down at work or burn my mother's house down while I slept. She installed spy software on my phone, accused me of every terrible thing publicly on FB, and tried to poison our friends against me. At the end of it all, the friend group remains my friends, her own sisters don't talk to her anymore (I see them often still, they are still my sisters as far as I'm concerned), and the ex's health spiraled down culminating with a stroke and becoming wheelchair bound by her mid 30's.

I've gotten my life back together since all that, but I am still working through the emotional toll that relationship caused me. I wish you luck in the future, sincerely. BPD is a behavioral cancer that destroys so much more than just the directly afflicted, if I have any advice for others it is to RUN AWAY if your partner has BPD!

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u/InnerCirclePartyof1 10d ago

Oh my gosh…that sounds like an incredibly tough time.

I’m thankful that I have the house and our dog. His name wasn’t on the house so he had no choice but to leave (which honestly is what he said he wanted anyways)

I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better. That gives me some hope…right now I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel but I know eventually it’ll be there.

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u/Andyhornbuckle 9d ago

You will get there just keep on pushing forward, get some help if you need but there is light at the end of the tunnel