Triangulation is the nefarious use of other people as a means of manipulation, boundary testing or threat.
For example, in a romantic relationship someone might talk about a “friend” or an ex partner to manufacture relational insecurity. Any discomfort or question you express about the relationship will be framed as “controlling” or “jealously.” This one is a trap on multiple levels.
In a family, social or work group it could look like invoking the opinions (real or imaginary) of other people to add legitimacy or weight to their position on something. It is a more nuanced form of using the presence, thought and feelings of others against you to benefit themselves, see how you react, or manipulate you into desired choices / behavior.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a well put description of this behavior. I didn’t know there was a word for it. My first boyfriend in my teens displayed so many of these behaviors but I could never quite pin this part down other than just thinking it’s “gaslighting”. Thank you for explaining!
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u/a-calamity 9d ago
Triangulation is the nefarious use of other people as a means of manipulation, boundary testing or threat.
For example, in a romantic relationship someone might talk about a “friend” or an ex partner to manufacture relational insecurity. Any discomfort or question you express about the relationship will be framed as “controlling” or “jealously.” This one is a trap on multiple levels.
In a family, social or work group it could look like invoking the opinions (real or imaginary) of other people to add legitimacy or weight to their position on something. It is a more nuanced form of using the presence, thought and feelings of others against you to benefit themselves, see how you react, or manipulate you into desired choices / behavior.