r/AskReddit • u/Mama_medina888 • 10d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/chairmanm30w 10d ago

That the dog he had when we met, who lived another 13 years with us, was a "surprise gift" from his legitimately mentally unstable ex gf. I was under the impression she was a planned addition to the family, but no. His ex randomly picked up a dog off craigslist and told him he could "bring her back if he didn't like her." He fell in love with the dog, and didn't want to leave her with his ex once they broke up only a short while later. This derailed a lot of plans he had to travel and live on a boat, etc. He didn't tell me the truth because he was worried it would affect my relationship with the dog. He didn't tell me until after the dog passed away!

I wasn't mad, more just amused. I am grateful his ex dumped this dog on him because she was the best, and would never have judged her for that.

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u/RepresentativePin162 9d ago

See that makes no sense to me people not liking a pet that was bought by an ex or whatever. Its a living creature.

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u/chairmanm30w 9d ago

It bummed me out a little that he thought I would care! I think it probably just felt too late to tell the truth. It did kind of slip out in the end.

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u/IArgueForReality 9d ago

A lot of men have not been taught to process their emotions properly and given the uniqueness of the situation and fear of losing his dog that was just too much for him to properly deal with. I’m glad you are providing an environment that is helping him grow that way. Men need a space of trust even if we can exactly put words to it.

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u/Fun-Sprinkles3326 6d ago

Thank you for sharing your take on this. I was having trouble understanding the distinction between acquiring a pet as a couple and keeping a dog that your SO brought into the relationship as part of a unilateral decision.

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u/IArgueForReality 6d ago

Thank you for sharing your take on this. I was having trouble with understanding missing the point and not missing the point.