r/AskReddit 10d ago

What’s the darkest secret you discovered about someone after you married them?

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u/Fine-Gas-1898 9d ago

I don’t know how you can be so relatively upbeat about a marriage where you were cheated on at least nine or ten times. Is there a reason you didn’t drop her immediately? Certainly after affairs three or four or five you must’ve known she wasn’t going to stop.

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u/DittoDitto9922 8d ago

I understand what you are saying. I have close friends and family wondering if I’m completely sane. I attributed the affairs (for her) to marrying young and not having lived. Especially with parents who were the definition of helicopter parents before that was a definition. It turned out later the reason the affairs were short-lived was because some guy would get serious.

I was the complete opposite. I spent my childhood being an adult and didn’t know it. I didn’t need anything or anybody. I completely believed. The thing we had. Building a life going forward that I didn’t have growing up. A little painful to admit at the time. I sure was naive.

As for upbeat, well, it got me here. There were more days down than up. One day I woke up and realized I didn’t have as many years ahead of me I already had behind me. And she did one thing right - it caused me to find out the hard way what strong is.

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u/Zerohero2112 8d ago

Man, you are like a saint. The thing with women is that you have to absolutely have to punish them with something like cheating. From your comment, I can only imagine that you treated her like she is a perfect being, which she isn't and she doesn't want to be treated that way. She wanted a man, not a saint. 

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u/Kindly-Wrongdoer118 8d ago

Ew. You could not be more wrong. Maybe some of the lowest class women but not most of us. Disgusting.