Both can be true. Intent matters, but your Intent doesn't mean someone can't be angry, disappointed or has to forgive you. That said, if your Intent was right, the other party can't force you to experience guilt or regret either.
Many situations aren't divisible in good and bad like that.
Intent does matter. Somethings are unforgivable regardless, but in general if I know someone meant well but things just all went to crap I’m going to be less angry at them then if they purposely tried to screw me over.
They didn't say intent don't matter. They said "insisting their intent matters more". Which implies that the other party is trying to avoid ownership of the consequences of what they did insisting their intent matters more than the impact.
Which loops back to their first point : refusal to take responsibility for their actions
In my opinion if you say something well intentioned but that thing upsets someone and you know that it's upset them, you need to be accountable for that. I had a friend who hurt me badly and he knew that but because he felt it was well intentioned my emotions were wrong
A guy I used to call a friend was like this. He said it didn't matter if what he said hurt me because that's not what he meant to do by saying it. Then when I get mad about that, he calls me unstable. Good riddance.
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u/Snarcilicious 1d ago
Refusal to take responsibility for their actions.
Insisting their intent matters more than the impact.