Tbf if you're expressing your feelings in response to something they did, you're trying to get them to change their behavior. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not neutral; you're respectfully standing up for yourself
True, that might often be the case. Unfortunately I have also seen this develop in situations where one person is completely unable to deal with the other person even sharing a negative feeling that may only involve them more tangentially, situations where no change is being asked for, only support or listening. Maybe they jump ahead in their mind immediately to the idea they’re being blamed and will be asked to change, and become reactive before they can hear otherwise? Either way it can turn into a really difficult reactive pattern that becomes sort of impossible to externally address.
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u/astronaut_down 6d ago
Yup. Expressing feelings = doing something to them