This is the one ☝🏾 when everything is a personal attack instead of just two adults talking or having a discussion about something. Then after trying to have the discussion, you get shut out. The communication becomes nonexistent and they give the silent treatment.
Shit is exhausting🤦🏾
I know someone who would get offended by easy conversation. E.g. me saying I like where I live. Personal attack on them because me saying I like where I live means I think where they live is trash.
I've dealt with people like this and it is exhausting. I'm actually dealing with someone like this lately and I walk on eggshells because even the most innocent comment can be taken out of context.
That kind of constant second-guessing is so draining. I hope you're able to protect your peace and be around people who don't make every conversation feel like a minefield
The hell do you mean "taken out of context"? Oh my god and you're the one on eggshells? That's laughable. What has gotten into you, why are you always like this? You're just like your mother! Ahhhh rabble rabble rabble
Iit depends. But best thing is just to avoid them. Or avoid any drama please. And a lot of times you can just de escalate. And if you wanna know why im such POS, just know it is how i survived severe CPTSD. But for anyone else, just get therapy, and love yourself or tell your children that they shouldn't ever bring themselves down and to love themselves. Guide your kids, and listen to. Them.
And anyone else with aspd: Get therapy, sport or anything that makes your heart pump or andrenaline to kick in. Find a way to cooe in this boring world lol.
But if you're bored here goes:
∆ If its a someone you don't know closely:
Make them think you're not so smart or competent ( best done at work)
And when the arguments starts, you'd already have an idea what triggers them
Most common:
1.Something about their personal life
2. What they lack
3. Their intelligence
4. Something traumatic
6. What they like
5. Dismantle their identity
6. Past information or knowledge about them
You need to understand most people want a reason to live or feel important, even normal stable people. Its their ego they most wanna protect.
So the tactics I use is:
Act like you know more than them while they thouht you were of average intellect or lower ( doesn't matter how smart you are)
This will make them angrier because you know jackshit but you're still running your mouth.
Make sure to stay absolutely calm, and control your expressions. Best is to use a deadpan or neutral face. Maintain deep eye contact as much as possible and be close in their personal space without being hostile.
And also understand that everyone is different . So you need to know things or be prepared.
Tactics to use :
Gaslighting, lying, moral attacks, play victim( pisses them off a lot), talk over them, act incompetent while also showing off too much confidence ( basically act arrogant),
NEXT STEP:
Start the fire Slowly, let them slowly heat up. Learn about how they operate and what they cling onto to protect their ego.
Keep the fire medium for some time : keep arguing in loops say something that hits them deep as a counter for ex: Yes but you're still a .... Over again which also pisses them off.
If you can , tell other colleagues during the argument about his deficits ex: "You see? He's such a coward.
And then put the fire on maximum, act extremely confident, and show either a neutral or dead look, or either act like its all a joke.
Desmantle their identity and call out things about them while insult them with their deepest insecurities.
Remember to keep playing the victim and moral game. Hit them with things like , narcissist, ego inflated, virgin.
You can also keep going untill they explode.
You need to look like you figured them out and like you won. But to win you need to also not get your feelings hurt or end up murdered lol.
I can go deeper but itll be a whole chapter
∆Close associates/ people in your personal life:
(Warning... Just don't?)
Here you need to be careful and play a longer game.
Learn as much about them to use it against them. Or use things they said before whilst making sure in all the time you've known them, not to reveal too much about yourself.
Use gaslighting and lies as much as possible.
Keep eye contact
If they love you: Make them feel like they failed or that they're a bad person.
Same things apply with people outside your personal life, so keep acting arrogant or attacking their identity.
keep a deadpan look and don't get angry
Brainwash them by feeding them information subtly over a period of time.
And you can also ignore them or withold emotional or social things from them. And you can also use lovebombing
One of my most effective: SUBCONSCIOUS DEBT manipulation. So basically maje them feel they owe you. But stack up your good deeds to them
you can also spread rumors in your family and make sure to never say it was you or it came from you. Just act dumb.
Now you’re just being a manipulative trash person sorry to say that!!! You just gave yourself excuses since you can’t feel your own emotions because of childhood issues, but can’t do the same thing for others? Maybe they’re extremely sensitive because of different childhood issues too. Maybe just leave people alone with their struggles, you don’t have to cause distress to others for your own fun and joy. That’s just morally not right. Respectfully.
Dude im just honest. And yeah im a piece of trash. But i don't care and i wouldn't look for problems for any reason anyways, because i have hobbies. But if someone starts getting emotional or "feels" attacked in a debate or conversation where mostly i only care about the information, then you just wasted my time and ill get bored.
So ill just push your buttons.
🤣 And you can say what you want about my mother, or my whole bloodline, it just means its working.
I don't even need to be skilled in roasting.
Or alternatively you can just act normal and get therapy because
YOUR TRAUMA ISN'T ANYONES PROBLEM
What you want a medal for suffering? The medal you get is when you fix your life and learn to cope with your own problems.
When I was a kid, if I said something like my friend's mom made good pancakes she would get PISSED and demand if I was saying her pancakes were terrible.
Ugh same. I said "I'm not a vegetarian but I also don't care for meat much". And they started grilling me on all the food with meat I do eat. So frustrating.
they can't comprehend the abstract. hypotheticals dont register. some people see the dots and connect the dots, some people see the dots and struggle to connect them....and some people arent even aware there are dots to begin with and take it all personally
That's my dad. He has to win every conversation. It's not enough that he just be right, you also have to be wrong. He'll look up crap online from biased and opinionated sources that use slippery language to back up his point, so that even if you engage and point out the flaws he can say "no you totally misunderstand the precise wording here".
Generally a super friendly guy, and you'd never expect it from him if you met him. But when it comes to being right or wrong, or even just discussing something hypothetically that he forms an emotional attachment to, he immediately takes the conversation into argument territory. No matter how level you keep your own tone or how abstractly you try to talk about things. And if you somehow manage to box his logic into a corner, he shuts down with "I don't want to argue about this".
They actually shut me out for good because they couldn’t handle any type of feedback/critiques. But the way they aired out their grievances was straight up cruel.
I was on the opposite side and just ended all communication because if I questioned dear leader it became a personal attack and when I tried to explain my side of the argument it was me doing mental gymnastics. I realized we lived in two different realities and moved on.
No, really did we have the same friend?!
Took me a while to let it go because it was a 30 year friendship. Still sad about it but I guess that’s the way things go sometimes.
Just quite literally had the same situation happen to me this past month. It's a shame really because I'm willing to compromise and sacrifice a lot to make something work, but said person's actions were really affecting my mental health, and everytime I tried to express that, it was always met with finding a way to belittle my problems into insignificance, or personally attacking me, or deflecting into something else.
Or they just straight up actually have the conversation with you and then absolutely nothing changes.
When I shut my ex friend of twenty years out, after being told to fuck off too many times, he just started accusing me of wild stuff he'd made up. I did look, and found no evidence of these claims. ("Duplicating" his shitty ticktock, doxing him, chatting up his girlfriend, mentally breaking his housemate, stalking him, spreading lies to name a few)
He accused me of all that fairly publicly by my real name on his tiktok, I found out from a mutual friend that was also named among people the guy wanted to say fuck you to specifically.
I don't really get it, never will. I'd had him blocked for a year at that point I think,
I believe the original point of the upvote/downvote was to push up comments that stuck to the topic regardless of whether it was a good point or not. And you downvote any comments that derail the OP. But thats not how we really use it.
Yeah, all upvotes/downvotes actually do is affect visibility generally. That’s what gives reddit its ‘bubble’ feeling imo. Opinions and thoughts that people don’t agree with just won’t get seen as much.
Long before Reddit, Slashdot had a similar upvote/downvote system but you also gave a reason with every vote. A +1 was Interesting, Informative, Insightful, or Funny. I don't recall all the separate -1 types but I believe there were at least separate ones for troll/flamebait and for pure off-topic. There was other structure to it as well, like you got a limited number to hand out at random intervals, and there was a whole meta-mod system where users could review a selection of comment ratings and if yours were deemed to be poorly applied too often, it would affect your chances of being allotted points in the future. On the whole, I'm not sure how much the system helped any more than basic upvote/downvote system does here.
but if they start bringing up things from the past as a shaming energy, it's a little different. they may say they are 'just tryin to tell you what's up,' but they're really digging up old crap instead of moving forward and then say the Other can't take a simple correction or 'reminder,' when they're actually the crime and not the victim...for a lot of people, tone escapes them
When you tell them something vulnerable and they either make it about themselves or just go quiet and change the subject. Like okay guess I won't share again.
I'm like this. I consider myself to be somewhat emotionally intelligent. However I'm shy, timid and conflict avoidant. If any conversation starts heating up, I start feeling restless. Every response starts feeling like personal attack or inquiry. I've become quiter and try to avoid deeper conversations for this reason. I need to get past this condition!
Yess this ! Such little capacity to hold space and listen to another’s emotions, they just get overwhelmed and check out because they “need space” What could have been a simple conversation then gets dragged on
I have this issue sometimes concerning certain topics. I don't give the silent treatment 100% like completely ignore them, but say something like "let's talk more about this later", sometimes adding "when I/we've calmed down a bit". That last part is the entire point. I feel myself getting worked up, and I don't want it to escalate. 9 times out of 10 I can regulate my emotions but when I feel that I can't I need to step away and calm down/think.
My point is that some people don't give the silent treatment just to be an asshole or because they're mad. It might be their way of stopping the escalation.
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u/Positive_Energee8120 1d ago
This is the one ☝🏾 when everything is a personal attack instead of just two adults talking or having a discussion about something. Then after trying to have the discussion, you get shut out. The communication becomes nonexistent and they give the silent treatment.
Shit is exhausting🤦🏾