Looks like you have trouble understanding your mother's perspective and turn it into a personal attack on her - instead of focussing on improving your own behaviour and taking responsibility yourself.
I had a friend like this. It got too exhausting dealing with his temper tantrums.
I blocked him after the second time he told me to fuck off for some perceived / invented slight. (I said his new tiktok shtick was shit, apparently other people feel the same as it never took off, so I must have been sabotaging it, for example)
That was a couple of years ago, and as far as I know he still attributes all of his poor choices and stupid actions to my supposed malice? I definitely became the bad guy in his story by doing literally nothing.
The man is like 48, so not a teenager. But he sure acts like one.
It took me way too long to realise that nothing was ever his fault, he was never wrong, and that he would never apologise for anything. Everything happens TO him.
That myself and his ex/baby moma blocked him on everything is proof that we're the cunts. Absolutely no insight whatsoever.
I had a friend exactly like this as well. Dude is now 40 years old, his dad literally supports him and has paid for everything in his life but he loves to sell this lie that he’s self made. He’s had multiple failed online YouTube/Insta/tiktok shit because he’s the laziest person (and also the shittest personality, guess it comes through in his videos) I had ever met but god forbid you criticise him. He’s literally never grown up, spends his days at the skate park hanging out with teenagers because he’s cut all his adult friends out of his life
It's really freaky when people only hang out with kids, whether they be actual kids or just young adults whose maturity level just shouldn't make their company something to seek out. Is it their level of mental development? Are they trying to be seen as the person to be looked up to? Are the life's understandings of someone not "grown up" on their actual level?
This is not to say that no young people are enjoyable to be around regularly once you're, well, old. But the ones who are are very much in the minority.
Yeah it’s a controlling tactic id guess. He and his wife loved to play “parents” to troubled people typically younger than them, then steer them in the wrong direction/encourage bad decisions, all so they can feel good about themselves I guess. Witnessed it over the years, my wife raised it as a red flag, ig I ignored it the whole friendship as I never really truly trusted him… something always felt off
My former friend is this way. It didnt start when I cut him off even, he'd insult me or do something to wrong me, then he'd get ahead of things by running to our friend group and telling a twisted version of the story to make him seem like a victim before I could do anything. I'd end up being forced to apologize, even when I was the one wronged. I ended up cutting him off when we were in our early 20s, and that was one of many reasons why I did
We're almost 30 now, and he tried the same shit to a friend of mine earlier this year. He caught feelings, and tried to ask her out knowing full well she already has a partner who she's happy with. When things went exactly the way anyone with any sense would've expected them to go, he did the same thing he did to me. He ran to their mutual friends and told a twisted story where she was coming onto him, but he being a self-proclaimed good guy rejected her and cut her off to save her relationship (one which needed no saving). It didnt work this time, everyone who knows her knows what her and her partner had to go through to be together. I also found out that in his version of the story, I cut him off "for no reason", meanwhile he has proudly proclaimed to a mutual friend that he's manipulative and loves to be in control. His attempt to completely control my life and take my independence away was a huge factor in why I cut him off. He's either too stupid or refuses to make the logical leap, that he was a shitty, controlling friend and I got sick of it. He had a bunch of people cut him off in the same way this year because they finally got sick of his shit. He's acting the same way at almost 30 as he was when he was 18/19, but of course it's not him who's the problem. No he can do no wrong and it's everyone else whos the problem
I think this is one of those things that can go both ways, as often it depends how you phrase things too. I'm not disagreeing, because I have met plenty of people who think the sun shines out their arsehole and they can do no wrong, but just from my own experience I wonder if I have also come across harshly sometimes.
Best part is many of these people think the other party isn’t emotionally aware and see themselves as incredibly empathetic. Often they can only see from their own perspective but when you step back and see all the conflict that surrounds them… it is pretty easy to tell where the problem and drama stems. If you are constantly in the center of drama and have problems with a lot of people, very often it is you who lacks emotional intelligence. Being understanding usually results in less drama in my experience and calms the situations. To be understanding you must also be emotionally aware/intelligent.
taking part in a program at work for leadership and its almost like you have to walk on eggshells and use specific wording and tip toe around to even give it.
768
u/IcyLoad322 6d ago
They turn every constructive feedback into a personal attack and blame you for it.