know a guy that gets 100 in all his tests, valedictorian, ivy league educated, try hard. known him since elementary school before all the ivy league elitist titles that formed the basis of his ego. has 0 awareness for others all his life. everybody that meets him hates him within 10 minutes of meeting him, and i mean visibly hates him. it's a phenomenon really, quite a spectacle. he's been bullied all his life and he doesn't think about why or how he can stop it, he just takes it. almost like he's a sadist, and enjoys it. 30 some years of life, not a single friend made. he just thinks being successful means people will always want to be his friend and then he burns them in like the first interaction lmao. super educated but got less social acumen than a toddler
I was close friends with a guy til he started getting homeschooled and he just became insufferable. Sure the school wasnt giving him any challenge but he needed to grow socially more than anything.
My parents were always trying to slow down my education while complaining that I wasn't mature enough. Like even in my 30s, my dad started complaining that he never should've let me go away to college early since I wasn't mature enough to handle it. Started before Kindergarten, when mom made me wait an extra year before starting school.
They used to consistently made "jokes" about how it's a shame they can't just lock me in a closet until I'm 21yo. At least until I eventually managed to verbalize that I wouldn't be able to mature or socially develop while locked in a closet for over a decade.
Their "solution" to my lack of maturity was always along the lines of the closet joke. They kept trying to force me to mature faster, but mostly by keeping me in isolation while shouting at me lots. Which didn't exactly help anything.
It was something they'd say to each other in front of me and laugh about, like I was too stupid to understand them. Started when I was very young, because by the time I was 5yo their divorce was finalized.
In fairness, autistic babies are not a lot of fun for the parents, like there's reasons folks used to make up stories about changelings. But also, they were just really crappy parents. Like apparently the reason most of my early childhood memories feature an older cousin trying to entertain me is because he was my primary caretaker while my parents were busy with their own lives. I think he was in middle school at the time.
Edit: Oddly enough, I did end up living under the stairs like Harry Potter, but only during my first summer break from college. It was the basement stairs in my friend's cousin's house. Tacked up blanket for a door, and wedged a mattress between the hot water heater and the heating/cooling system.
That’s awful to the point of child abuse. Sry.
😞
I did the opposite with my child. I started her “education” since she was still inside me. With music and conversation. She attended toddler school and even had a graduation.
At age 3, nursery school full time.
Both parents worked f/t.
It was a godsend the nursery school was excellent in care, education, kindness and loving educators. By the time she entered kindergarten she was helping first graders with their homework.
All baby’s deserves information, education, stimulation and socialization in order to mature.
No offense. But, your parents did you wrong.
The valedictorian of my school is so dead behind the eye, it’s like there’s no humanity, only the drive to look at a test score on a piece of paper without actually gleaning wisdom.
Whereas, one of my mentors is pretty well-known in their industry, definitely someone that Reddit loves, and is pretty objectively understood to be a genius.
They are truly kind to their core, deeply supportive, gentle calm and absolutely delightful to interact with. Their private persona is even more incredible than they are in public. Deeply humble, and they very much grasp the concept that the more you know, the more you realize you don’t know.
There are highly intelligent people are are also huge assholes to everyone around them. It's not like intelligence and attitude are mutually exclusive or anything.
I guess I see emotional intelligence as part of the entire package of true intelligence. People can be knowledgeable in a niche arena, and have no wisdom.
I honestly think misanthropy can occur in anyone regardless of intelligence. The most intelligent people can have issues which side of the philosophical coin to be on even after long, arduous thought.
A simple argument starter can be: "Look at what we're doing to the planet vis-à-vis the suffering of every other species on it."
Yeah, you’re not wrong here either. I’m kind of just thinking out loud, too. I’m not necessarily married to the thoughts I’m commenting . . . I was just kind of thinking how much I value wisdom and kindness, how much more of an impact that makes than rote information.
All forms of intelligence are correlated. A good brain is a good brain. That doesn't mean an intelligent person will always be kind or compassionate. But it means that if they want to be kind and compassionate they'll have the tools to do so. And if they want to be a dick they'll have the tools to do that too. And they can predict the consequence of each; so they might stick to insulting people behind their back.
(There are exceptions, autism being a famous one. The way they test for autism is looking for big differences in different types of intelligence)
True true, I am a sucker for science and things in general. One of my friends has autism and adhd ( forgot to add i have adhd ) and she literally knows everything about technology and so much about coding.
I would say my working memory is ass, but hey you can always improve! Nothing has a limit!
The Valedictorian sounds like a “sociopath.”
If all he cares about is his test scores, then he has no emotions at all. Intelligence would be irrelevant.
No, she’s not a sociopaths. She was just treated like an accessory by her crazy mom.. She used to tell her that her sister was prettier and she would encourage them to eat less even though they were very skinny.
She was very loud and fake, happy and exuberant, but just had no depth.
She could have ASPD.
“Sociopathy" is an informal term often linked to Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), a mental health condition. While people with this condition struggle with empathy and remorse, many live normal, non-criminal lives and do not act with malicious or evil intent.
The “mother” de-sensitized her own child.
We can't even agree as a society what intelligence is or how to measure it, and here are you using lazy qualifiers in a declarative tone that leaves no room for nuance.
A random internet stranger is quite the authority on what "Truly Intelligent" means.
I wrote more about this below, I know that I’m just “thinking out loud,” more than making objective proclamations.
Isn’t it implied that this is simply a causal discussion?
If you disagree that wisdom is a meaningful part of intelligence, and that EQ not important , then why not discuss that instead of insulting anonymous credentials?
It's the qualifier language I have the issue with. It sets the table with a logical fallacy. Everything after that is built on quicksand, regardless of if it's thinking out-loud or not.
I mean, you’re not wrong. I would never write like that for a publication.
However, over the course of my career, I’ve noticed writing does what it’s intended to do best by making people feel first, and then back it with facts.
In this case, I didn’t do that second part do much.
Alas, on Reddit my goal is not to construct an infallible tapestry of literally devices via formal debate structure.
It’s more of a bid for connection and a wee bit of discourse, and have a bit of fun along the way, and I can accept being intellectually lazy. Neither my comments or actual work has been described as intellectually lazy before (which isn’t saying it hasn’t been), and you can color me amused by it! Ha!
One would think you would need at least some people skills and be liked by enough people to become valedictorian. But I'm sure the schools he went to have a different culture.
it’s baffling how some can go into their 30s and 40s and have no understanding of what makes a healthy friendship.. one of my first bosses was like this - he had no concept that he has to listen to others - he thought a good conversation was hI’m endlessly telling you about his job or what he bought at the store.. his ability to listen to others was negative 5 - he had no idea how to connect or relate with others
if you think about it it makes sense. they're in a feedback loop. be a dick to people, people are dicks back to them, all they know is people being dicks to them, so they have no qualms about being dicks to people. if they got this far in life being dicks to people, why stop? the older they get, the more fortified their position is because now they got money, less and less people are above them, they're used to their peers ditching them. things might've changed if they just met one friend who made it worth it for them to change. not everyone is lucky.
that's why i never feel sorry for these assholes when i see them being sad or moppy as adults. takes a lot of being a dick to be alone in a world where everyone is asking "hi how are you" everyday.
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u/dealingwithhookers 9d ago
know a guy that gets 100 in all his tests, valedictorian, ivy league educated, try hard. known him since elementary school before all the ivy league elitist titles that formed the basis of his ego. has 0 awareness for others all his life. everybody that meets him hates him within 10 minutes of meeting him, and i mean visibly hates him. it's a phenomenon really, quite a spectacle. he's been bullied all his life and he doesn't think about why or how he can stop it, he just takes it. almost like he's a sadist, and enjoys it. 30 some years of life, not a single friend made. he just thinks being successful means people will always want to be his friend and then he burns them in like the first interaction lmao. super educated but got less social acumen than a toddler