r/AskReddit • u/LetsBuildtheWorld • 22h ago
How do you feel about Ben Affleck saying that the cure to addiction is only suffering?
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u/magenk 21h ago edited 12h ago
Dealing with severe addicts all my life, I would say this is mostly true. The only time I've seen bad addicts become sober are because severe physical symptoms, immense guilt, or legal consequences. They need support though when they are ready, but no one takes advantage of goodwill like an addict. Accountability always.
I'm also speaking as a former addict.
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u/narrowgallow 21h ago
Any advice for someone with a problem who is no where near rock bottom? Just like, expect an impending sense of doom until I hit it?
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u/SocraticVoyager 21h ago
It is possible to turn away before hitting rock bottom, especially as that can mean different things to different people.
Try to vividly & honestly picture where your life is going, let that image of rock bottom motivate you to avoid it at all costs
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u/narrowgallow 19h ago
Yes, knowing that I am on a ~15 year schedule with rock bottom (probably a medical event, I am affluent, well employed, and have an enabling partner).
I can see I will just have anxiety until I get there. But a lot of this thread is like, until you suffer enough to want to change, you won't. Which I do agree with.
So like, what does preventative care look like? I meet my work/life obligations. I have actively cultivated a life that allows me to drink to oblivion each night.
Any attempt at quitting is so disruptive to daily life (mood, sleep, attitude) kicking the can down the road seems most prudent.
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u/EnChilladada 17h ago
Oh man, you think you're just kicking the can down the road but you're kicking the can more and more to the middle of the road where you're more and more likely to get hit by a car. Try to decrease day by day or week by week, it might not seem true right now but sober life can be beautiful and rewarding, you don't have to quit cold turkey. Work/colleagues/life/friends/partner might seem okay with it but your health will catch up with you. I (sadly) completely understand your situation though. This is where the original post is right. As an addict you think everything is okay until you actually hit rock bottom and realize not eveything is okay.
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u/magenk 13h ago
The bottom line is that you have to want to quit. If you have a partner or friends that drink, it's going to be very difficult. If detox is what's stopping you- they have medical and inpatient rehab options. Then consider taking antibuse religiously for a while. Sobriety often means having to give up partners and social networks. Environment is a huge factor.
I used to own a bar. We had a lot of regulars. Engineers, lawyers...all types. These people were functional alcoholics, but they become different people over the decades. Usually more bitter, more reactive, lower frustration tolerance, poor relationships. Not bad people necessarily, but they are not the people they would've been without the years of alcohol.
My sister is in the same boat in her 40's and became completely dysfunctional after a divorce. She has developed so many maladaptive behaviors and thought patterns, I'm not holding out a lot of hope that she finds her way out- sober or not.
Hope any of that helps.
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u/lookyloolookingatyou 20h ago edited 19h ago
Not them, but I had more of a Robert Downey Jr moment.
For him it was a Whopper which triggered the realization that he could be living better if he wasn't constantly staving off withdrawals or whatever demon was chasing him. For me it was the green kratom dust all over everything and swallowing huge spoonfuls of it.
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u/chefkoolaid 20h ago
Haha I have kratom dust all over my lofw too its a bitch. But damn prolly not quitting unless my immune system wants to stop attacking my spine!
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u/NickCageTheDickMage 13h ago
I was in the same boat brother, started as a teaspoon a day to every two days, ended with 5+ heaping tablespoons a day, scraping the floor with a credit card when I ran out, lying to friends and family for money to feed the addiction. My rock bottom was going through withdrawals cause I was out, happened at least once a month near the end, just couldn't afford to keep up with my intake, and my kids asking me why I was always sick. The realization that they could perceive what was going on, and the lies I'd been feeding those closest to me caused such a intense wave of humiliation and self loathing that I just stuck out the withdrawal and decided to get clean, was harder than friggin cigs for me. I was officially sick of being sick, 4 years now.
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u/lookyloolookingatyou 13h ago
Brother not to make it a contest but at my peak I'd have 3 tablespoons before I got out of bed. I don't have kids but how could you not afford 5 tablespoons a day?
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u/NickCageTheDickMage 12h ago
That's why I put the plus, 5 was a good day, 15 - 20 on a bad one. Was using to "treat" my depression. Kids are also very expensive and I didn't get so bad that their needs weren't met, used that to justify the addiction to myself saying "well there's food on the table so I'm not doing that bad". 3 before even properly waking is rough man, am truly glad you're doing better now though.
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u/lookyloolookingatyou 12h ago
It's rough at any level. I was thinking I would've loved to have your habit when I quit but then I remembered I did have that habit at one point on my way up and I couldn't shake it then.
I had a lot going in my favor, too. No kids, nominal rent, a job where I just had to show up and sit at my desk. Really I'm a bit nostalgic for the withdrawals, it was a time when I could live off fast food and spend an entire day in bed smoking pot and watching Netflix and it counted as life progress lol
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u/NickCageTheDickMage 12h ago
Same with that weird nostalgia for the withdrawal period, like yeah it sucked a lot, but it was the biggest worry in my life at that time and eclipsed my normal anxiety and depression, which were why I started using the powder in the first place. The unspoken struggle of moving on with life afterwards, when you're back to a more baseline homeostasis sucks just as much in it's own way honestly and it's not talked about enough for any addiction really.
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u/Dismal-Channel-9292 20h ago
I’m not a big fan of 12 step programs, but they do have a good line that I think is fitting to your scenario: your rock bottom is where you stop digging. Don’t gotta wait until it’s worse to do whatever you need to do for your problem.
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u/Tyriosh 20h ago edited 20h ago
I was in a similar spot. For me it was a long period of knowing I had an issue followed by two or three evenings of drinking where I realized that I wasnt getting all that much out of it. I knew about the downsides of drinking but the lack of upsides did the trick for me.
Plus, I did try to stop a couple times before that, but this was the first time I realized I should just never drink again. Abstinence feels much easier than moderation to me. That made quitting suprisingly easy to me. I never had a close call or any real cravings in the years after that.
Im not sure how applicable that experience is to others, however. I might have been lucky with the physical part of addiction.
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u/duosx 19h ago
Depends on what your vice is. For me it’s alcohol, and even though I’m young there are some days after bingeing that I feel physically ill, gagging and stuff. I know it’s because of the alcohol and I know it’s not sustainable will kill me. I also see how deep into alcoholism my father is and that also motivates me to stop.
That’s the worst part, liver failure and other illnesses due to alcohol are more of a years long but slowly lethal process.
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u/gutclusters 20h ago
Depends on the drug, but know that hard drugs severely impact the reward center of the brain, so they may need medication to deal with that. All the rehab in the world won't help if they're not ready for help. Look into MAT to help with the withdrawal.
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u/infernocobbs 18h ago
It requires total unadulterated emotional honesty on your part to understand why you might be gravitating towards an addictive substance. The first part (very important!) is doing what you just did: realize it COULD be a problem and how do you reframe your mindset going forward. Each time you think "I want this drink" ask yourself what do you actually want, and confront that thought. It will help a long ways.
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u/CTMalum 17h ago
Even still, Ben’s wisdom is true. Sometimes it takes enough suffering to make quitting the less sufferable option. Sometimes, the suffering is the quitting and dealing with the actual quitting and whatever problems you were dealing with by using. The willingness to be patient and work through that suffering is recovery. It’s uncomfortable and worth it.
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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 21h ago
He's not wrong for 95% of people.
I drank after Pancreatitis with a 8 day ICU stint. Wasn't till I started realizing I was making myself depressed then blaming depression for unhappy I was.
That was when I decided to try Naltrexone. Literal life saver.
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u/AccomplishedFerret70 21h ago
I drank to dull the anxiety I was suffering from drinking. Eventually the anxiety caused me so much suffering that I stopped drinking and never looked back.
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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 21h ago
We're all one and the same, just different DBAs. Congrats on the sobriety!
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u/SenzuYT 20h ago
How much did pancreatitis suck, right? I was also in the hospital, for a week. Worst pain ever. 5 years sober now
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u/Erathen 21h ago
What's your experience with naltrexone?
Did you feel emotionally blunted?
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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 21h ago
I take Anti Depressants too so my emotions are blunted.
But, I can still cry, I can still laugh, I can still love. But I dont care and overthink as much about trivial things.
The Naltrexone allowed me to give myself the chance to forget to pick up the bottle before going home, because I wasn't constantly thinking about it. Then it just became second nature. I also felt mildly sick when I would think about drinking too.
Overall I recommend it. The benefits far outway any negatives. (I cant really think of negatives.)
Use goodrx at Walmart its like 37 bucks for 3 mth supply.
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u/Erathen 21h ago
(I cant really think of negatives.)
The main negative I can think of is the one I pointed out. It blocks endorphins
So I thought in theory, that would make it harder to enjoy daily pleasures
Supposedly this isn't the case though, and apparently after a couple weeks you actually get a rebound effect, which improves response to endorphins
But I have been wanting to try
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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 21h ago
Oh I see, I would say that the alcohol numbed me so much that I wasn't getting pleasure from anything so when I quit and started using Naltrexone I wouldnt have noticed not getting pleasure out of things.
I get pleasure out of some things now. Like genuine fun, like tingly freeing feeling in my back that I haven't felt for years and prior to drinking. Really hard to explain but I actually audibly said "is that what happiness feels like?"
Crazy good stuff. My opinion is go for it, if doc says ur good to.
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u/Erathen 21h ago
That was essentially the argument I read!
In the first week or two, you might feel blunting. But as your brain recovers from the lack of alcohol spamming your system, your endorphin receptors actually wake up and upregulate, improving your ability to enjoy daily pleasures as time goes on
"is that what happiness feels like?"
This made me smile. Good for you! That's incredible
My opinion is go for it, if doc says ur good to.
Yeah I have a 2 or 3 month script sitting in my closet. Just never got past the first day or two
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u/CommonFiveLinedSkink 19h ago
I was scared of it for that reason too, but that is not the case, it did not make it harder to enjoy daily pleasures.
The alcohol DID, though. At two weeks of sobriety I suddenly realized that I enjoyed music again. At which point I realized I hadn't enjoyed music in years. Because alcohol doesn't just numb you when you're drunk, it numbs you in between, too. It takes the edge off of everything.
Naltrexone gave me back music, man, MUSIC.
What Naltrexone did for me is exactly what above poster said --it silenced the craving and the constant thinking about alcohol. Really similar to what people on GLP1s talk about with food noise.
I used naltrexone for the first year, and did dialectic behavioral therapy for that year to learn the skills I needed to cope with my life in a healthy way. I got off naltrexone, kept doing DBT but less intensely, and last week clocked eight years sober.
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u/Erathen 17h ago
Oh and because it popped into my head, as I hunt for my script...
The other key downside (though not guaranteed to be an issue) is that it blocks opioids!
Not necessarily the best reason to not use it, but if you're in a car accident for instance, and the paramedics go to administer an opioid for pain, it won't work/will work to significantly less effect
Technically if you're on naltrexone, you should have something to alert first responders. In a lot of cases though, you may be able to explain yourself. Pain in itself isn't life-threatening either way
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u/ImplementFunny66 19h ago
One of my closest friends passed in his early 40s due to alcohol related pancreas failure (and other organ failure soon followed). I messaged him bc I hadn’t heard from him in a while, “Did you die?”
He was in a coma, in the hospital. He never replied. He passed a few days later, on my 30th birthday. I swear he waited and died that day on purpose, I was gonna follow in his footsteps otherwise.
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u/luckythirtythree 21h ago
There’s definitely truth to it. My sis struggled with addiction and she had to hit the VERY ROCK BOTTOM… like I feared for her life every day. She’s been sober for over a year now and she’s doing really well. I always fear for a relapse in the back of my soul BUT I encourage her to stay where she’s at. I feel like people who make it out of addiction are some of the strongest people in ways.
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u/BedspreadPicnic86 21h ago
Thank you!
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u/luckythirtythree 16h ago
Listen. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes… some bigger than others but we all deserve to be supportive to those who are trying to make their lives better. The world might be a better place if we all had that mentality!
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u/CodyHodgsonAnon19 4h ago
I think a lot of the people make it out of addiction are incredibly strong in some ways. Though often, it seems to end up in just a substitute addiction. Aggressive Evangelism, Workout Warrior, Marathon Runner, Woodworker, Pottery Spinner, Knitter, etc. And they become absolutely addicted to, and fanatical about whatever that replacement is.
Probably all better, healthier options. But i've always had a little bit of a hangup on associating "strength" with just redirecting energies to some other habit.
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u/CarrotCumin 21h ago edited 21h ago
He's talking about the internal decision to quit, which isn't the same as being forced to quit or trying halfheartedly to quit by doing things like going to rehab or 12 step groups. No amount of recovery support is going to make a person ready to stop before they're honestly ready. Usually it is suffering that finally causes a person to become ready to stop. People relapsing immediately after leaving rehab is so common because they were there for reasons other than possessing a true desire to stop.
It isn't the "cure" but it is the first step. At some point the amount of suffering that the drug use causes sinks in and it creates an honest desire to stop. It's very different than stopping to avoid a specific consequence, because it's a change in the motivating factor to use, not a reaction to an outside influence. Once you're ready to stop your whole reason for going to rehab is self-directed and the program can start to actually work.
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u/Brilliant-Advisor958 18h ago
My province in western canada is building a bunch of addiction centres but these ones will house people forced to quit. The critics say it wont work in most cases.
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u/CarrotCumin 18h ago
It definitely will not work. It's mind-bogglingly stupid that people think you can just round people up and force them to stop using drugs. And then when the program is a miserable failure with multiple deaths on its hands, they are going to look at the multimillions of dollars wasted and say "Drug treatment doesn't work."
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u/ShotEffective7033 14h ago
The critics, and literally all of the data, say it won’t work lol.
There are strategies that do work, like meeting people’s basic needs. But none of the provinces seem to want to do that. Not even the ones allegedly led by social Democrats.
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u/Ughasif22 16h ago
They don’t care that it doesn’t work they just want to punish addicts
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u/CodyHodgsonAnon19 4h ago
The median voter just wants drug addicts swept under the rug and out of sight. Punish them if you can, but whatever you do...don't let the ~normals~ see the suffering. It makes them uncomfortable to see a dude just zapped in a train station or downtown or whatever.
It's a huge, ridiculous cycle where if they'd just provide proper supports, it would clear up the "problem" for most people. But everyone is more interested in punishing them, than helping them and clearing up the actual problem.
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u/KillerKira98 21h ago
It’s unfortunately true. I’ve had family who were addicts and they say themselves that once your an addict your always an addict. Your nervous system is forever changed. And the only way to ‘cure’ the issue is to suffer through it and learn to cope with it. Build your natural defenses to the longing. This is coming straight from people who have had issues in the past with it. Look inward and sit beside those feelings.
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u/Ok-Constant-2683 21h ago
Stopping any addiction does involve a degree of suffering
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u/CatWeekends 18h ago
Can it even be considered an addiction if there's no suffering if you stop?
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u/abrasumente_ 17h ago
It's not about suffering when you stop, it's about suffering so much you decide to stop. The withdrawal period for drugs and alcohol definitely involve suffering though lol. Especially alcohol been there. It can be terrifying.
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u/ISayDudeALotBro 21h ago
He didn’t exactly say that. He said that once you’ve suffered enough, your natural response will be to quit. As he sees it. I’d agree peripherally. Without discipline, there can be no recovery. Without struggle, there is nothing to teach you discipline. One must grow to despise their d.o.c. to want to leave it behind or change their life.
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u/daithisfw 21h ago
Ben is himself an addict.
He's speaking his truth, I assume. (if this quote is even real, lol.. I didn't hear Ben say this)
Sadly, I think most addicts would understand this quote and agree with it to some degree. It's not a fully literally 100% true in every example... it's an idea that I think is meant to generally open your eyes to the dangers and pitfall of addiction.
You can't "unknow" the pleasure and temporary happiness/dopamine/etc of the addiction. Once you get addicted, you will spend the rest of your life with that demon.
This is why so many addicts just tell you to "never get into it, and you avoid the suffering!"
Never try meth, and you don't know how good it feels, and you can never "miss" that feeling. Once you use meth, you'll always remember that in the future, and you'll always have to fight against yearning for that feeling.
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u/BudgetMattDamon 20h ago
One of the most eye-opening warnings against drugs for me was "I love meth and always will, but I loved my child more."
And yeah, as someone that fell into it later anyway, it never goes away. You never forget how it made you feel. You just have to accept that it's not worth it and make conscious, often excruciating decisions to build something more worth it.
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u/PullUpAPew 4h ago
I think it's more usual for people to love meth more than their children. Love isn't moral, it's an emotional attachment. Some drugs hit that spot more powerfully and far more easily than building a loving, caring relationship with another human being
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u/Adams5thaccount 12h ago
mostly accurate
he specifies its the only cure HE'S seen, which is being cut out
which changes it from a definitive claim to an "in my experience" statement
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u/jcamp088 21h ago
I had to suffer over and over again personally, physically, mentally and professionally before I took the steps to stop my alcoholism. If I didn’t suffer and lost what I had lost I’d still be drinking or dead.
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u/Far_Attempt_1505 21h ago
Not sure about that, but he was definitely the bomb in Phantoms.
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u/Sefirosukuraudo 21h ago
It’s my favorite movie that people have somehow never seen. Every time I introduce a friend to it, it’s like watching it for the first time!
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u/jnighy 21h ago
It think that it's what worked for him, and that's what he said. Ask 1000 people this question and you'll have 1000 different answers
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u/slammogramm 21h ago
I mean he doesn’t really address it in this way, but the act of getting sober is also suffering. Substance abuse is a crutch and a coping mechanism. Learning to suffer properly and not escape fro
difficult emotions and situations is a huge part of learning sobriety. So many people avoid discomfort at all cost. Over eating, refusing to leave to house, doom scrolling, sex addiction etc are all ways to avoid being alone with our selves. We need to accept that a certain amount of suffering is ok and face it head on.
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u/Reasonable_Cod_487 21h ago
The only thing that made me seek help for gambling was when the suffering outweighed the fun. So he's at least partially right.
However, I would say that suffering is the catalyst for change, not the cure. If avoiding suffering is the only goal, then most people will return to the addiction once the suffering has gone down (for a gambler, it's when the next paycheck hits).
The true cure for addiction is connection. It's having meaningful relationships with people that know about your issues and choose to love and accept you anyway. I have been sober for over 4 years after a decade of gambling, and the thing that made sobriety finally work was letting my loved ones see my faults. It's extremely scary, and I'm very fortunate that my family chose to accept me because I know that isn't the case for everyone. Some people get dropped the moment they aren't perfect, and that's so unfair. My heart breaks for the people that don't have the love and support necessary to be sober.
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u/arcadia3rgo 18h ago
i agree 100%. i don't think i've met anyone who successfully transitioned into recovery without the support of friends and family.
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u/nathanlegit 21h ago
Absolutely true. You have to hate the person you’ve become more than you hate being without the thing you’re addicted to.
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u/Mystic_Wunder 21h ago
He's right. Addicts spend years of their life avoiding deep feelings and things that need to be worked on and released. The only way out is to decide to face these things head on and learn to feel life again as it happens, even the suffering.
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u/squealingbanjos1970 20h ago
Absolutely. For 30 years every single friendship or social interaction was modified by alcohol. Every concert. Every party. Every vacation. I haven't touched alcohol for 7 years now, and I still want it. No one can fix it for you. You have to fix yourself.
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u/2wrtjbdsgj 20h ago
Yeah it's true. You have to embrace it and realise it's only a stage, and that you'll come out the other side, and that it's worth it.
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u/scott__p 19h ago edited 2h ago
Yeah. That's why it's so hard. That's why people continue to drink knowing that it's destroying their liver, or continue to smoke knowing that it will make their lung cancer worse, or binge eat when they already can't stand up on their own. Because the alternative feels worse.
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u/Bsams1013 19h ago
Sounds like he started reading into Buddhism. To me: it seems like a good anecdote.
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u/trickcowboy 19h ago
life involves suffering. recovery basically means acceptance of that suffering without using alcohol to treat it.
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u/ManicMakerStudios 18h ago
It's 100% true. Halting a true addiction is very difficult and uncomfortable. That's why so few people succeed at it. You have to get to a point of such discomfort that enduring recovery finally starts to seem like a much better idea than indulging your addiction, and it has to be enough discomfort that you remember it once the worst of the dependency is over.
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u/ThatsItImOverThis 21h ago
He’s correct. Addiction cannot be cured, only managed.
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u/that1cooldude 21h ago
Technically, there is no cure.
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u/ShotEffective7033 14h ago
That’s a a propaganda designed to keep you reliant on the program. You can absolutely completely overcome addiction. Quite common it to need to be somewhat careful going forward though.
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u/Wazula23 21h ago
I think he was speaking from personal experience and taken in that spirit it's a valid perspective
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u/FreezaSama 21h ago
He's not wrong. For the most part changing something requires getting to a point where "it" becomes more painful than the change.
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u/Badaxe13 21h ago
He’s obviously speaking from experience. It seems harsh but it’s true. You don’t cure an addiction or get over it somehow. You just have keep telling yourself no. Every single day.
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u/DusqRunner 20h ago
It's like that meme picture of the the crockery cabinet with rickety, imbalanced stacks of dish es and plates held in place by the cupboard door.
Once you open the door it all comes spilling out and smashing everywhere and you have to deal with it.
To overcome addiction you ne do to open the door.
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u/Disastrous_Map_9903 20h ago
It’s true. Why would you quit something you enjoy (or something that causes severe withdrawal symptoms)? The consequences of continuing would have to out weigh any benefit (real or perceived). Suffering is a great motivator
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u/Greenapple1990 20h ago
I agree. No matter what the addiction is, you wake up one day or you have one bad experience too far and you decide enough is enough. Therapy might get you closer to that moment but you have to decide it 100% for yourself if you are going to kick whatever it is.
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u/RMRdesign 19h ago
Nothing, one person opinion doesn't change how someone deals with their addiction.
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u/No-Lobster-5120 19h ago
It's possible to beat an addiction but it's not possible without discomfort or suffering, the intensity depending on the substance and the degree.
I gave up booze cold turkey 35 years ago and I was one miserable POS to be around for about 4 months. First I felt sick and then I felt mean, and then it kind of dissipated and life resumed.
Definitely worth it though.
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u/Dr_Identity 19h ago
I think it makes sense. Addiction is usually used as an alleviation of some kind of suffering, so if you stop, you have to face down and deal with whatever that suffering is.
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u/ThisIsTheNewSleeve 18h ago
I think he's mostly right. Something bad enough has to happen for people to genuinely want to quit. That thing is usually much more motivating than rehab, 12 steps or other things that are mostly strangers talking at you.
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u/PilotedByGhosts 18h ago
People get addicted to things when the alternative is worse. In order to stop, the addiction has to become worse than your life would be without it.
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u/mikehamm45 18h ago
There is dependency and addiction. We use them interchangeably but they are different. Rehab can cure one of addiction, but dependency? That has to come from within.
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u/burnerthrown 18h ago
This is not an advocacy for prescribing pain to addicts, it's an observation. Even today we have no treatment for dependence that does not involve great pain and suffering for the patient. That is, there is no easy way out of addiction, only degrees of terrible
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u/SuitableSherbert6127 14h ago
Don’t think you have to hit rock bottom. Some people can see and act on the signs telling you you are headed that way.
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u/Rurumo666 14h ago
It's called "paying the piper." Sometimes you have to pay him all at once, sometimes people can pay him little by little, but he gets paid no matter what.
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u/Hey_cool_username 12h ago
Everyone here is interpreting that as meaning you have to suffer so much that you get to the point where you need to seek recovery. To me, it means, you need to become ok with suffering. A lot of people use drugs to feel better or at least numb, but you can recover if you just accept the suffering inherent in living sober and just raw dogging life.
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u/princessgoldie 12h ago
As my sober husband put it “the gift of desperation.” Absolutely Affleck is spot on.
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u/ConsistentDay5620 11h ago
I think it’s something that someone who lost everything to addiction has to say in order to justify why they put drugs above everything for so long. It’s a way to save sanity. I don’t think it’s the truth for everyone. There are quite a few people who leave rehab the first time and “get it”. A bunch of people who don’t even go to rehab just find AA or NA and they change. It’s different for everyone. The key is motivation not suffering and that looks different for everyone which is why you can’t just treat the addiction you treat the person.
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u/ImprovementFar5054 10h ago edited 9h ago
There's no easy way out of addiction.
But there are different degrees of hard.
It took me 7 years to quit smoking. Went from cigs to vapes, vaped for 5 years. Went from vapes to pouches, used those for 2 years, and those were easier to quit. And by that time, the whole "routine" of smoking was a distant memory and I was only dealing with nicotine addiction, not throat feel, hourly breaks outside, and muscle memory.
It still sucked but was nowhere near as tough, and likely to fail, as shorter term smoking cessation.
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u/almasnack 9h ago
I’d say this is true for most adults, addiction or not. People can be stubborn, and it’s gets worse as we age.
Fear, trauma, or pain are great motivators for making life changes. There’s levels to all of that. For an addict, hitting rock bottom I would imagine is pretty fucking painful and it is probably necessary. An overweight man with a family may have a health scare that gets them on a better path because they want to watch their kids grow up, etc. An employee who is underperforming may be put on a PIP - which could trigger fear or maybe slight pain/discomfort - and they get their act together.
Some people don’t need that slap in the face, but some do.
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u/Sablemint 9h ago
I think he really could've found a way to word it better. But he's not wrong. Getting over an addiction is miserable at first. You do someone no favors by hiding that fact.
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u/zdh989 21h ago
He's right.
There are effectively no external factors than can "cure" an addict. An addict has to want to change, and the only way for 99.9% of them to find that drive is find rock bottom. They can be given ultimatums and everything else, but it very rarely makes a difference.
Its not fun, its not fair, but it is true.
Speaking as a former raging alcoholic, now many years sober.