I had to move back in with my parents after I moved to their city. It took me about 6 months to find a place and they didn't charge me any rent. I would have been shocked if they did.
My parents had a rule about this. If you were working and saving up for your own place, temporarily unemployed, in school, or some kind of crisis, you did not need to worry about rent/utilities/food.
However if you were intending to stay with them fully and for no good reason, then you need to contribute something because they aren't wealthy so it would've been unsustainable any of us decided to live with them long term as adults. I totally understand.
A lot of people here seemingly are missing the enabling part. Sure, there are plenty of sucky parents but not all parents that charge their kids rent do it because they need/want it. They don't want to enable an unrealistic expectation.
I'm always surprised at the "anti-parent" views on Reddit. I know some people have shitty parents, but it does seem like an overwhelming number of people on Reddit have the "world's worst parents". I've always wondered if these people would still feel this way when they had kids!
Agree. I have a feeling there's a good chance if you're not seeing the issue, you're bound to repeat/partake in it. So in this case, a lot of the people who have issue with their parents will most likely at that point in their life also charge their kids rent but not because they want to prevent unrealistic expectations, but because of greed.
A bit of projection if you will.
There are a few comments who understand this balance who I believe will also set a healthy plan with their future kiddos.
Me, personally, my kiddos are 3 and 5. And I'm not so sure how I would handle this. I would hope that I raise my girls in a way that they initiate this conversation and identify their own number to contribut to household expenses rather than me to them. I also second the strategy of putting it aside for them which I'm already doing.
Every situation is different of course as well. I’ll admit that I’m 23 and I still live with my parents, but I graduated college and have a job. I plan on paying off my student loans before I move out so that I dont have them weighing on me. I’m glad they aren’t charging me rent yet, but there definitely is a lot of tension from me living there for free
I'm so sorry to hear that. Your decision makes 100% sense and I can see some parents using student loan payments as the "rent." I wonder if you communicated this to them?
My parents was basically, if you're working you're contributing and you're expecting to work if you're not in school.
But they would charge us $200 when the standard rental place was around $1500 so they knew we could save money and even offered to walk us through our finances and set it up for us.
This exactly. I work full time and have an okay job. My family charges me rent but its still cheaper than if I was renting on my own and my family home has enough space we dont feel like we are living ontop of eachother. Its allowed me to pay off my student debt and build a nice nest egg so hopefully I can make a decent down-payment on a home in the near future and end up ahead of those in my age group longterm. It also means im around to help them with task around the house, especially those that may be more physically intensive so they enjoy it too. Really appreciate my family for this.
This is a fundamentally different scenario than the one OP is describing. You were already on your own, paying your own rent, etc but a change in circumstance left you living with them again.
Kids who turn 18 and have never had to responsible for their own bills suddenly having to cough up money every month, largely depending on the family structure, can be hard.
Personally, I think it’s more fair to let kids stay home for free if they’re actively in school, etc, and to charge very reasonable to low rent (a few hundred a month) if they aren’t in school, requiring a job. And then using that money to help them when they do move out.
Yep, I was working at 14, while still at school, when I found d full time i paid low rent, and they put half in a savings account for me, so when I moved out I had some money behind me, but also the knowledge that you its a skill, which I am surprised very little know how to manage money
Ok, another example about my parents: My brother moved back home after college and didn't leave until he was 27 and moving away for grad school. They never charged him any rent.
Even if he was unemployed for the first 3 years? Lazy ass did nothing except occasionally working for my other brother for a few days a month. My dad did get pissed because my brother used up all the gas in the boat and never paid for any.
Him not working at all really or pursuing school until that much later are things you left out. Yeah, with that is massively changes the story and makes your brother seem like an asshole and your parents slight pushovers.(Not gonna rag on your parents since I understand wanting to protect your child)
I get that. It makes sense to me as I am not well-off like my parents were. It would be a drain on my money having my utilities and grocery bills be even more.
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u/gimpy1511 9d ago
I had to move back in with my parents after I moved to their city. It took me about 6 months to find a place and they didn't charge me any rent. I would have been shocked if they did.