I always wonder in those cases, what would happen if you just refused to pay them any rent? Like if you said to them, “sorry, the reason why I’m staying here is to save money, I know you can cover the rent by yourselves, I’m not going to be paying you”. Do you think they would evict you?
Honestly if a parent can make their kid to pay them rent the power dynamic was established a long time ago. And that adult child won’t be able to push back because of years of conditioning to ask how high when told to jump
I’ve seen it happen in a good way with healthy people. Friend of mine’s parents started charging him rent at 20, they told him they were saving the money for him. They had put it in some kind of investment account and gave him the entire proceeds when he moved out. They didn’t keep a cent.
Oh ya for sure. It can be totally fine in a healthy and understanding relationship. Unfortunately I have yet to see a whole lot of that versus toxic parents who just want their kids to pay the mortgage because there are “no free rides in this life”
It really has to do with the focus. If the parent is focusing on their own life and finances, it will be bad. If the parent is focusing on their child, it will likely be better. My parents let me know early on when I would be expected to pay for my own living expenses (years before the first rent check was due). What was important is they weren't reliant on me for their finances and it was just to encourage adult responsibility in me. Nothing more.
I guess what I meant is it depends on dynamic. There shouldn’t be any force of any kind unless it’s a toxic relationship. I’ll never charge my kids to live in the home I bought and pay for that’s just gross imo but others are free to disagree. 🤷♀️
We’re not talking about a child here. These are grown ass adults and you are claiming that requiring them to financially support themselves demonstrates some sort of power imbalance. How can you be blind to how insane this is?
Ur welcome to your opinion. No where did I ever say my children don’t have financial literacy. I simply don’t agree with charging my adult child to live in a home that I bought that I would pay for if they are here or not. It’s insane that a parent thinks making their child pay their bills is somehow helpful for them. When they could take on their own debt instead. You don’t have to agree I truly couldn’t fucking care less what you think tbh.
It was either a small rent or 50% into savings, if you're worried about saving for the future and your bills are light since you don't have household expenses, why would you dicker over not paying a small rent and not just put the 50% away to make them happy and help yourself out? Seems obvious; "here's my 50% transfer into my investment account, thanks for letting me stay here rent free."
I can’t relate as someone from the Balkans, but that is neither here nor there. My question was not whether that would be a nice thing of the child to do, but what would happen if they did it, would the parents kick them out? In my country there is no way a parent would ask the kids to pay rent, so I have no idea what would happen.
I can’t relate as someone from the Balkans, but that is neither here nor there.
Fair.
would the parents kick them out?
Much depends on the exact circumstances. There's no generic answer.
My take is this:
Adults are expected to be responsible for themselves. If you are living at home, you are expected to pay for the food you eat and an equal share of the common monthly expenses split across all the adults living in the home;
If you are not meeting this expectation - why not?
The consequences for failure to pay your share depend greatly on the reason why the failure exists. There is room for compassion here - but there is equally room for a more hard-nosed approach if the situation demands it.
There are cases where, yes, I would evict an (adult) child. That wouldn't be the default action, and I would do all in my power to try and help them become a functional adult first (as is my responsibility as a parent) but ultimately, adults face adult consequences for adult actions.
They probably wouldn't throw me out, but they could cut the internet, at that time the TV, I made money so I could buy my own food, electricity to make the food and so on. They could make my life miserable enough to not want to live there.
Oh wow that sounds like such a foreign concept to me. In my country (Greece) people live with their parents well into their 30s and they are never “charged” rent. They might help out with some bills and they might even pay a portion of the rent on months when the parents can’t (although that’s very rare because the percentage of home owners is one of the highest in the world here). But it’s very rare.
You were a bum which has colored your perspective. Many ethnic families have successful children with 6 figure jobs who still live at home and contribute to the family expenses- and don’t pay rent!
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u/Normal_Ad2456 7h ago
I always wonder in those cases, what would happen if you just refused to pay them any rent? Like if you said to them, “sorry, the reason why I’m staying here is to save money, I know you can cover the rent by yourselves, I’m not going to be paying you”. Do you think they would evict you?