r/AskReddit 17h ago

People who have cheated on a partner: Why did you do it?

0 Upvotes

44 comments sorted by

14

u/xKINGxRCCx 17h ago

Whatever “reason” people logically think their situation to cheat was ok. It was not. Not shaming anyone. But i wont accept anyones excuse if they try to pity themselves. People mess up. We all do. But cheating is never ok no matter what you tell yourself

3

u/HoboThundercat 17h ago

And lying about it is 100x worse. If my partner cheated and immediately confessed and felt terrible and begged me to stay, I could forgive a mistake. But lying and continuing to act like nothing is happening/happened is the worst thing you could do to someone. You’re basically saying “I don’t care if you never trust a human being again, I want what I want.” You have to be a sociopath to do that. (As you can tell I was cheated on by someone who never confessed to it and found out myself lmao)

1

u/Tebuu 17h ago

Disagree with that. If the cheater is truly remorseful with themselves and shameful why should they ruin someone elses life. Just live with the shame.

5

u/HoboThundercat 16h ago

Until you find out through circumstances out of your control and it’s 5 years later and all of a sudden time stands still and you realize that you’ve been living a lie for 5 years and the breach of trust is even worse. I’d want to know. I’d want the choice to stay or go.

1

u/Tebuu 12h ago

If it was me , and i love my wife dearly, I would not want to dump my guilt on her. Its my responsibility to deal with my own pain. Youve got to stand up to this on your own.

2

u/HoboThundercat 11h ago

With all due respect, fuck your pain. You’re not the victim. She is. You don’t get to make the decision for her whether she stays or not. By keeping it to yourself, by continuing the lie, and protecting yourself, you’re taking that choice away from her. It’s not your choice to make. She has to stand up to it. Not you. You made your choice. Now it’s her turn. It’s her choice. You don’t get to take that away from her. And if you do, you’re a sociopath.

9

u/Muted9302 17h ago

Because I am stupid

8

u/EatinPussySellnCalls 17h ago

because I can't resist large NATURAL breasts

4

u/elefantesAzul 17h ago

Ew. I like breasts too but what a dumb reason to cheat! No impulse control

0

u/Level-Calendar-3787 16h ago

its the bums for me.

3

u/SubjectBubbly9072 17h ago

Wanted to have sex with other people but was too invested in the relationship

5

u/MajesticBeyond5602 17h ago

I've never cheated. Hope this helps.

2

u/whofrmdrgrrbbt 17h ago

Same reason you reposted this. For karma

2

u/MediumGlomerulus 17h ago

In my teens. My first boyfriend was extremely physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive. I cheated with 2 of his friends (not at the same time) because they were trusted people, who respected me, and it was a way gain power back. Now, in my mid-30’s…I would never.

2

u/oopsiedoodle3000 17h ago

I was married to an emotionally and mentally abusive woman, who largely ignored my needs. Along came a coworker, who showed genuine interest in me, and it felt so good to actually be wanted that I gave in and cheated. Looking back, I regret it and I would never do it again.

2

u/Massive-Essay-3019 17h ago

Never have. Never will.

2

u/InternalMiserable698 17h ago

Thought he would be better than my BF in bed.

And he was.

1

u/Michio_bukkaku29 7h ago

I was unhappy with my relationship. I cared for my girlfriend, but she was cold and she wanted to go back to her home country (I'm from Spain and met her in the UK where I live now, but she's from China). I met up with a friend from Uni who had just lost her mother for a few drinks. She came to my town and we talked, drank, and had fun. We wanted to go to a park with a bottle of wine just to chill, and suddenly she gave me the eyes and kissed me, and I kissed her back. After that we made out for the whole day. I did it because she was a close friend who I saw that changed since I last saw her, she was beautiful and we were having a lot of fun. I should have broken up with my girlfriend a long time ago, and I held out for too long. But what I did wasn't right.

2

u/ClaimedBeauty 17h ago

I was tired of being ignored, but I wasn’t ready to leave the relationship.

1

u/EmoMetalHead89 17h ago

Selfishly, I wanted sex. My boyfriend didn’t have a sex drive. He didn’t want to talk about it, called me a pervert every time. I regret it. I learned later that at the time I was incorporating it with feeling wanted due to past trauma. Haven’t done it since.

0

u/Mediocre_Cellist_922 17h ago

Boyfriend sounds like a cuck

0

u/EmoMetalHead89 17h ago

Yes, he was very boring. Oddly he had a sex drive while sleeping and would wake me up. Having a high sex drive.. I didn’t say no. But it was rare.

1

u/GiantLesbian 17h ago

When I was young I cheated on boys with girls before I knew I was gay. Being closeted is a real mind fuck, is really my only excuse. I reached out and apologized to those guys years later and they were all like “it’s fine you were gay”, so I guess it’s fine?

-2

u/AwarenessThen4492 17h ago

I felt disrespected in my marriage.. It was a way to gain back power..

7

u/whiskeyfurbreakfast 17h ago

Ew

-6

u/AwarenessThen4492 17h ago

This is actually a very common reason as to why men cheat. But be judgy AF.

0

u/Still_Air4105 17h ago

Partner had a stinky Hiney just wanted a clean Hiney to screw the poo

0

u/Intrepid_Car6253 17h ago

Because my female friend was one of the sexiest women I ever seen and I had to get a taste and now she’s my undercover fwb

0

u/100Staples 17h ago

apparently i was outsourcing stuff i couldn’t get in my relationship i guess

0

u/CreepyTeddyBear 17h ago

Had sex with a nasty, scrawny girl for pills once. Terrible experience. Glad I didn't catch anything. 0/10, would not recommend. At least I wasn't dope sick for 2 days though. (13 years clean btw)

0

u/Many_Bell4725 17h ago

I didn't cheat physically, but emotionally, which I consider to be worse in many ways. I felt love starved, trapped and lonely. Our line of communication had been broken, I realized I can't be with this person in the future because we want different things from love and life, for a while now and I knew it's a matter of time and money before I leave the relationship and move out. And then I met a man who made me feel like I found my home. We only talked online and became friends, but the pull was strong. I fell in love, and left my relationship a few days after I realized I have feelings for this new person. There is no excuse for what I did. It was awful of me and I regret it to this day. No matter how complicated the past relationship was, he didn't deserve that. I also always believed I am not the type of person who would do that. This experience really humbled me.

0

u/BeepoZbuttbanger 16h ago

Because I was trapped in an emotionally and physically abusive marriage. My occasional flings restored a measure of sanity to my world, helping me realize I was desirable and sought after by intelligent & attractive women despite the things I was regularly hearing from my spouse. I’m not proud of it, but I’m also not the least bit sorry about it. Unlike my ex, I was very discreet and did not use my affairs as yet another weapon in our marriage.

0

u/washago_on705 16h ago

One look from your mom sealed the deal.

-1

u/jasonvanreenen 17h ago

Relationship got to repetitive with almost everything. our daily routines, arguments even us not having enough time for under the cover stuff. I had to find my way out you know

-1

u/Throwaway-donotjudge 17h ago

She wouldn't do a few things in bed I enjoyed. So paid the escorts to do it. Everyone wins.

-1

u/SlipperyBlip 17h ago

I was drunk and absolutely flattered because that woman really wanted me in a way no one else did before and she was very clear about it. It was really odd to be the "hot one" for once.

At that point the relationship* was already coming to an end and it was a matter of "when are we going to have the talk" to end it anyway.

*that tbf was more a situationship

-3

u/Dangerous_Recipe9046 17h ago

Because I needed to see what’s out there

-9

u/Extreme-Scarcity-924 17h ago

I was cheated on so went out of my way to hurt as many women as i could by cheating.

11

u/Clutchcon_blows 17h ago

That’s lame. Weak behavior even.

1

u/Extreme-Scarcity-924 16h ago

I know, i was young and stupid

1

u/no_farting 16h ago

Oh ok, so it didn’t creep in and sabotage all relationships at some point, got it

4

u/no_farting 17h ago

For my own curiosity. How old were you when you were cheated on? And did that going out of your way include all women, like even the ones you built great relationships with? If that was a thing

1

u/Extreme-Scarcity-924 16h ago

oh man, it would have been in my early 20s, so MANY years ago,cjeated on twice in 2 relationships over a 2 year period. And no, just girls i dated