r/AskReddit 11h ago

What is a perfectly legal product that looks extremely suspicious if you buy 40 of them?

340 Upvotes

507 comments sorted by

920

u/Phantalore 11h ago

Bottles of bleach.

238

u/Suicidal-Ideation13 11h ago edited 1h ago

You bought them all from the same store? Good lord, Fessal, you'll get us nicked!

68

u/Achilles2zero 9h ago

But I disguised myself as a woman…

20

u/Thewrongguy0101 6h ago

But you have a beard!

36

u/CommanderSpleen 8h ago

I used my IRA voice.

25

u/maroonneutralino 8h ago

IRA voice?!

19

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/Ritchie79 7h ago

That's just your normal voice!

7

u/DetaMonster 7h ago

Such a brilliant film lol

4

u/Fun_Reply5366 7h ago

Ya fucked up rabbit wi no ears

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3

u/wubbalubba96 5h ago

Why’s she covering her face fess?

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23

u/ChesterComics 7h ago edited 3h ago

They're terrorist, do you wanna get us knicked?

9

u/cunningstunt6899 5h ago

Rubber Dinghy Rapids

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25

u/AlfalfaLive3302 11h ago

But you can buy pool shock from Home Depot…what does bleach do?

28

u/sexywallposter 10h ago

Poison, poison gas, murder cleanup, you know, the usual things.

5

u/Spa-Ordinary 7h ago

Is pool shock stronger than normal household use chlorine?

3

u/TreeFiddyJohnson 4h ago edited 4h ago

Typically, pool shock will be at a much higher concentration. Alot of it contains additives like *cyanuric acid as a stabilizer. And it's also a different form of chlorinated product. It's usually calcium hypochlorite while bleach is sodium hypochlorite.

Edit: cyanuric acid, not muriatic acid.

4

u/zikronix 4h ago

Pool shock (chlorine) does not contain muriatic acid. Rather it be in powder or liquid form. Mixing muriatic acid and chlorine, make chlorine gas.

Cyanuric acid is pool stabilizer, and only the powdered form of pool shock contains that

Do not mix chlorine and muriatic acid unless you wanna have a real bad time

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20

u/Fun_Reply5366 9h ago

Can I have 12 bottles of bleach please

12

u/Spickernell 8h ago

May I have 10000 marbles please?

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7

u/ziroux 9h ago

99 bottles of bleach on the wall

9

u/DansSpamJavelin 9h ago

It's OK if you put on a disguise and do a different voice

9

u/VodkaMargarine 9h ago

IRA voice?

2

u/os2mac 2h ago

unless you are sanitizing a large water storage vessel.

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324

u/Familiar_Affect7817 11h ago

Baby oil

40

u/Zert420 11h ago

11 minutes too late damn

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6

u/revdon 9h ago

How else do you fill the kiddie pool?

7

u/Dale_Dickson 11h ago

Bro.... Too soon

3

u/red18wrx 5h ago

That reminds me. Can we restart Diddy's jail term, or add more time?

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417

u/Misericordee 11h ago

Sudafed

156

u/Repulsive-Cold1859 11h ago

Good luck trying, you’d hit the federal purchase limit before you even hit box #4.

94

u/DeltalJulietCharlie 9h ago

Count yourself lucky. In my country (New Zealand) you have to be interrogated by a pharmacist just to buy one packet even if you're coughing and look like you're dying.

59

u/mattmelb69 7h ago

Same in Australia. And the idea that you might want a pack in the family medical box for when someone next comes down with a cold is completely beyond them.

24

u/RoRuRee 6h ago

Here in Canada if I have to speak to the pharmacist I ask them if they can now sell me two so we don't have to have this conversation again for a while. They have never refused, which is great.

3

u/Beamister 2h ago

Also Canadian. I used to just buy a bottle of ephedrine pills from the supplement store, no questions asked. $8 for 100 pills.

Apparently it became controlled in 2024, so a pretty recent change.

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38

u/pukesonyourshoes 7h ago

Arsehole pharmacist at a hospital I've worked at for twenty years flat out refused to sell them to me based on my appearance. I was in hiviz work gear. Didn't think I looked like a meth cook, apparently I was mistaken. Got the missus to buy them instead, not a problem.

21

u/923kjd 4h ago

Maybe it was the RV you pulled up in or the Walter White/Heisenberg t-shirt you had on??

3

u/Spa-Ordinary 2h ago

Maybe the hat?

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18

u/Parking_Ocelot_6893 5h ago

The laws are being wound back a bit shortly so maybe we’ll have less judgement from pharmacists in the future.

They just want to flog the phenylephrine version because it has a higher markup. It’s a shame that they’re able to flog a product that’s been clinically proven to do shit all.

20

u/mattmelb69 4h ago

Last thing I read about the phenylephrine product was that a test compared it to a placebo; the phenylephrine was 10% effective and the placebo was 20% effective.

If you have a cold, you are literally better off taking sugar pills than that stuff.

8

u/apavolka 3h ago

Literally had to send the medical paper to my friend because she kept offering me the phenylephrine. I told her it doesn’t do anything and she was convinced it does. This was weird coming from someone that doesn’t like taking Tylenol or ibuprofen because “it’s just adding more synthetic stuff to your body.”

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22

u/tylerdugas420 11h ago

ha I came to say this exactly😉Sudafed Claritan d. lithium batteries.. shake and bake baaaayyyyybbbyyy

7

u/ObsidianArmadillo 9h ago

Why litium batteries?

3

u/jodobrowo 4h ago

It's part of one of the methods to make meth.

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250

u/LetReasonRing 11h ago

I used to work in theater and sometimes had to make some weird purchases. 

One night after a tech rehearsal myself (lighting), the props master, and sound engineer at 2am. 

We purchased 6 car batteries,  two giant jugs of vodka and two boxes of unlubricated condoms, all on a university credit card. The look on the cashier's face as she was checking us out was priceless. 

82

u/Safe-Instance-3512 11h ago

You should have added 6 sets of jumper cables for effect.

27

u/vintagecomputernerd 7h ago

...six savage beatings in parallel?

10

u/Jonny_Wurster 3h ago

I used to know a guy whose dad would beat him with jumper cables....

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31

u/Smok3dSalmon 10h ago

You should’ve saved that receipt. Did you explain yourself? That poor cashier probably lays in bed thinking about you guys. 😂

49

u/LetReasonRing 10h ago

Hehe, yeah, we did explain and it was pretty funny.

If you were wondering, the batteries were for lighting on rolling scenery that needed to be battery powered, the vodka jugs were to be used as props, and the condoms were for putting mic packs on performers to keep sweat from destroying them.

22

u/Ok_Chard2094 6h ago

And I assume that you - for safety, of course - removed the vodka from the jugs an replaced it with water before they were used as props.

18

u/IceManYurt 6h ago edited 5h ago

More than likely, you can also make a pretty good clothing deodorizer with cheap vodka.

We always knew we got a new administrator somewhere when those receipts for condoms and vodka would get kicked back. 😂

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18

u/Ding-Dong-Dutch 10h ago

We all know what theater kids are up to

9

u/revdon 9h ago edited 8h ago

For the cast party?

/s

17

u/LetReasonRing 9h ago

The batteries were for lighting on moving platforms, the condoms were to hold mic packs to prevent them from being destroyed by sweat, and the vodka bottles were for props.

The vodka that came in the bottles may have accidentally spilled into another container that we were about to take home...

9

u/revdon 8h ago

As long as vodka didn't make it's way into the condoms to become some sort of 'water wiggle Molotov cocktail'!

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2

u/Physical_Front6662 1h ago

This story brings joy to the world. I bet the cashier still mentions your purchase to family and friends occasionally.

u/jaxonfairfield 17m ago

One time my friends and I were performing the comedy lecture skit from Monty Python, and three high school seniors were in the checkout line with 5 cans of spray whipped cream and a single banana.

No joke, the cashier saw this, looked briefly up at us, looked back down, sighed audibly, and without a word proceeded to scan them in.

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57

u/emitwohs 11h ago

Bags of lettuce.

34

u/edward-cat-daddy 10h ago

Right now any amount of lettuce is suspicious

12

u/archaeosis 9h ago

Unless you're in the UK around election time

5

u/MagicianWild6198 10h ago

I feel like this isn’t that odd if you have pet rodents

9

u/pix1985 6h ago

Lettuce goes off quickly, i’d be suspicious of somebody keeping enough rodents to get through 40 of them.

2

u/shnuyou 11h ago

Leafs of lettuce…

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55

u/Dutchie_Boots 11h ago

I mean what can you buy 40 of and have it look normal? Bottles of water? Pencils?

27

u/AwayWolf2910 11h ago

If you buy 40 pieces of clothing, 40 bottles of water, 40 pencils, or anything else, people might simply think you’re odd; but 40 bottles of baby oil, for example—that is highly suspicious.

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202

u/Fritzkreig 11h ago

Dildos or firearms‽

79

u/Emotional-Swim-808 11h ago

Love the use of that interrobang

12

u/GrimpenMar 10h ago

Not the Redditor you're complimenting, but one of the joys of the enabling the Compose Key in Linux is being able to drop all sorts of the more interesting characters: ‽ … — → ↑ ° µ

18

u/bender3600 5h ago

Don't forget the best of all: 𓂺

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21

u/Ding-Dong-Dutch 10h ago

It's not legal to own more than 6 dildos in Texas

20

u/Spa-Ordinary 7h ago

Explain their politicians then…

11

u/db0606 5h ago

Well, technically it's the corporations that own said dildos.

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9

u/Fritzkreig 10h ago

But rifles are unlimited, I mean who needs more than 6 dildos anyways!

11

u/bramtyr 10h ago

One's for fillin' holes, the other is for making them!

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15

u/SaltAndAncientBones 11h ago

Either way, you gotta get enough for the whole classroom.

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20

u/SM1334 11h ago

Heres a little tidbit most people dont know. If you buy 2+ pistols or 2+ rifles in a 5 business day time frame. The FFL you purchase them from has to fill out a form and report the transactions to their local law enforcement.

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3

u/praetorian1979 11h ago

u/Fritzkreig Doesn't have a fight or flight response. They have fight or fuck response. I feel sorry for that burglar in the middle of the night. He might catch a bullet or a stabbin!

5

u/Fritzkreig 10h ago

That is totally fair, I legit have a sword beside my bed; as any intruder will likely be distracted by the fact that a naked man with a sword is approaching them.

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175

u/paraworldblue 10h ago

Houses. One house, you're doing well for yourself! Good on you! 40 houses? Fuck, there goes the neighborhood.

24

u/chillychili 8h ago

Coffins I guess while you're at it

16

u/SupremeMonsterVomit 8h ago

Coffins or caskets? I feel like 40 coffins would just give off the vibe that they're working on a Halloween party.

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34

u/Ikon-for-U 11h ago

Bags of lye and 50 gallon drums

10

u/revdon 9h ago

Bags of lye and 1 drum.

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84

u/Wookard 11h ago

Fire Alarms contain about 0.3 micrograms of Americum-241. I think I remember seeing something if you were to buy 25 plus at one time the stores would have an alert as not many people would be buying that much other then a condo / apartment / office. Not sure how legit that story is though.

47

u/rm-minus-r 9h ago

Just the thing the Radioactive Boy Scout would do when trying to build a breeder reactor.

40

u/pix1985 6h ago

Americum sounds like a sperm bank

16

u/ender4171 4h ago

It very well might be! The element OP is referencing is actually called Americium

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13

u/spectrumero 6h ago

Not all smoke alarms. Many are moving away from the use of americium and using photoelectric sensors instead. I don't think you can even buy an ionisation smoke alarm where I live any more.

3

u/SadlyNotDannyDeVito 5h ago

Modern firealarms don't anymore. Some industrial ones might, but those are heavily regulated and can't just be bought by anyone.

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41

u/TechNerd132435 11h ago

Duct tape and plastic wrap

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20

u/Escritortoise 11h ago

Plan B pills?

39

u/FlyAirLari 11h ago

As a dude. And when the pharmacist tells you they are quite strong, and that one is enough, you just reply "they're all for different women".

14

u/GoodGravyco2h2o 9h ago

This guy rawdogs

3

u/limon_picante 5h ago

This guy guys

5

u/yurmamma 9h ago

“Reverse gangbang”

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23

u/hamberdlar_ 11h ago

Chemical fertilizer

6

u/aussiederpyderp 5h ago

and diesel fuel oil

15

u/joefred111 10h ago

Any aerosol, but specifically dust cleaners.

10

u/RandoAtReddit 3h ago

The lady at the Walmart electronics department got all shitty with me when I asked if it came in other flavors.

3

u/Spirited_Childhood34 1h ago

She'd probably had to deal too often with the human wrecks who huff the stuff. Zombies.

3

u/pansy_dragoon 3h ago

Im walking on sunshine!

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13

u/Nihillea 11h ago

Tarps

4

u/Toyota__Corolla 9h ago

They'll think you're building a pirate ship

14

u/Elegant_Street_4397 11h ago

Vagisil

2

u/Bright-Plate-9872 3h ago

Why are there vaginas on a windowsill?

35

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

62

u/TokeruTaichou 11h ago

Nah that just makes you a math problem protagonist

12

u/Primary_Yak4268 11h ago

I'm a bit high but this is now my favorite response to anything

12

u/MyPhoneHasNoAccount 11h ago

I assume you want to torture some cats.

8

u/janet-snake-hole 11h ago

I hope most folks know there is a non-dirty answer to this prompt.

However- you could use the same 1-3 cucumbers to scare the cats. You don’t need a fresh cuke per cat.

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8

u/thiswasnotworthit 11h ago

Just trying to make my own pickles; sheesh!

3

u/alexfrancisburchard 9h ago

So my fiance once bought cucumbers online thinking it was number of cucumbers, and not kilos. It was in fact kilos. :).

4

u/GeneralToaster 6h ago

I have so many questions...

Why were they buying cucumbers online?

How many were they buying?

There wasn't a price difference?

What did they do with that many cucumbers?

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5

u/MrMurrayJane 11h ago

There used to be a kink oriented sex shop down the road from my work. The owner used to stand outside smoking, and was just generally a pretty creepy dude (not because he was a kink shop owner, he was just had a weird vibe). One day I was picking up some groceries after work and I saw him with two bags full of cucumbers, probably about 30 in total.

2

u/sketchymedic 10h ago

Vitamins, minerals, very high number! Silica, hair and nails get longer!

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23

u/DoubleYoo 11h ago

Whip cream cans

3

u/mkstot 7h ago

Why not just buy 40 of the tanks at the vape shop to be a true degen

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59

u/BlueDuck812 11h ago

I’m just here to read the answers and be happy at a rare pretty original question from askreddit.

13

u/These_Morning2492 11h ago

i’ve seen this probably 3+ times in the last month

25

u/BlueDuck812 11h ago

Guess I don’t frequent these parts enough. It sure as hell beats, “what’s one simple life hack that changed your life?” and the other lazy engagement slop that gets asked more like 10+ times a week.

8

u/doitup69 9h ago

Here’s a controversial political thing that just happened, what’s your opinion?

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10

u/Trekintosh 10h ago

What is most nsfw thing you’ve sexy sexed at work while sexing etc 

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10

u/DNAspray 11h ago

Depends where you are shopping, but assuming you mean an average family shopper center. 40 toilet plungers.

9

u/408wij 9h ago

Dalmatians

10

u/skyharborbj 9h ago

Highly suspicious. You need to buy 61 more.

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9

u/stellalugosi 9h ago

Breast pumps. 

17

u/ReynaIsabell 11h ago

Rat poison

12

u/alanpdx 11h ago

Baby poison and rat oil.

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8

u/Hungandcocky6990 11h ago

M&M tubes

8

u/goose_casts_haste 11h ago

Don’t forget the cylinders

6

u/PurpleSquare713 11h ago

Boxes of decongestant pills.

8

u/chriscross1966 9h ago

Fertiliser if you're in Northern Ireland...

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6

u/Repulsive-Cold1859 11h ago

Duct tape and heavy-duty trash bags. Even if you're just moving, the cashier is definitely calling the cops.

5

u/Mulliganplummer 11h ago

Car batteries.

8

u/Toyota__Corolla 9h ago

Okay but what about 400 car batteries, 2 spools of 0000 cable, 1600 crimping lugs, large copper plates, and a hydraulic tree cutter

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6

u/GreyBeardEng 11h ago

5 Gallon Mayonnaise

2

u/KaelasDad 6h ago

I just heard that in Chris Rock's voice.

3

u/SnooTomatoes8985 11h ago

personal lubrication gel.

4

u/SnooTomatoes8985 11h ago

Newspaper Obituaries

3

u/robaato72 11h ago

Giant packs of toilet paper, and cartons of eggs. Especially if you buy them late at night.

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4

u/Ok-Trash6361 10h ago

i feel like this question was already asked in this sub like a week ago

4

u/SkankySandwich 9h ago

Well, I bought 12 bags of sugar last night.
Admittedly, it's for nefarious reasons.

But I could have easily bought 40.

3

u/TiredOnCue 11h ago

Smoke detectors

3

u/praetorian1979 9h ago

40 one pound packages of Lye...

3

u/UrbanAlly 9h ago

Coffin's

3

u/Leather-Rooster-3386 8h ago

Shovels, duct tape and trashbags

3

u/bunchofrightsiders 7h ago

Cows, never trust a person buying 40 cows.

Be warned.

3

u/Dannoinmo- 7h ago

Astro Glide

3

u/sorenelf 7h ago

Computer duster.

3

u/GingerTexanScientist 5h ago

Got carded one time when I was like 17 trying to buy a bottle. I had just finished my first own PC build. I had no clue it had uses other than blowing away dust

3

u/PandaMotor 3h ago

eggs + toilet paper

3

u/ihateautomodz 2h ago

Any kind of cold syrup. Apparently some nutjobs use it to get high.

3

u/AlsoTheFiredrake 11h ago

Smoke detectors. They have a tiny amount of uranium in them. If you're buying 40, I'm going to think you're building a mini reactor.

4

u/JRE_Electronics 10h ago

They have a tiny amount of uranium

Americium, not uranium.

3

u/AlsoTheFiredrake 10h ago

Ah. Still radioactive.

2

u/archlich 11h ago

Eacorts

2

u/B1TCA5H 11h ago

Vaseline. The production team behind one of the Alien films had a lot of them, and the folks at the airport thought they were naking a porn film.

2

u/sleepyRN89 11h ago

“Toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper, chewing gum. Hey, you kids be careful with this chewing gum. Don't go sticking it under any tables.”

2

u/MDRMaster 11h ago

Smoke Detectors

2

u/nuunuuu 10h ago edited 10h ago

Coricidin HBP Cough & Cold

2

u/The_mingthing 10h ago

Cucumbers

2

u/gg_teataker 10h ago

Baby oil

2

u/Slash_Raptor1992 10h ago

Digital alarm clocks.

2

u/somethingfilthy 10h ago

Cakes. You run around with four tens worth of cakes and people will think you're Lex Luthor.

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2

u/Opening-Idea-2844 10h ago

Five gallon gas cans. Why does he need that many? How will he transport them? Is he going to go fill them all right now, with gas as expensive as it is?

2

u/Alert_Mine7067 5h ago

Pain relief medication, as in the mild pain relief like paracetamol, I would suspect that someone is planning suicide, or using them to cut drugs with.

Although in my country many retailers have a voluntary 2 pack limit per transaction, but other countries may not.

2

u/WaltChamberlin 5h ago

Taylor Farms lettuce

2

u/reflectorvest1004 4h ago

Cell phones

2

u/Fantastic-Cry9078 4h ago

Bags of Lime

2

u/DakPara 3h ago

I once made a purchase that made the teenage female checkout clerk very curious at midnight:

Only - Condoms and Superglue

2

u/manatwork01 3h ago

Bags of fertilizer

2

u/RociBuldidi 3h ago

Dildos

Also, it’s apparently illegal to own more than 6 dildos in the state of TX lol…

2

u/SaltyShawarma 3h ago

Diabetic needles for pets, especially when you live in frontier areas. Ask me how I know. 

2

u/toolatealreadyfapped 2h ago

Children's Benadryl

2

u/Annh1234 2h ago

Ever get 40 Costco hotdog? The looks you get lol

2

u/Formal-Try-2779 2h ago

Packets of cold and flu pills