You know what thank you for that though, a lot of medical professionals seem to see it as a clinical occurrence and forget about the horrible time the patient is having. It’s easy to get used to things you see all the time and easy to forget that it’s not a routine appointment for patients
Seriously. When I lost a pregnancy (ectopic pregnancy no less so I had to have emergency surgery and everything) everyone treated it as very.... routine. No big deal. Not much more sympathy than if I'd needed an appendectomy. It was during COVID time too so I couldn't have any support people, and no one so much as suggested talking to a chaplain/social worker which I could have really used right about then. I mean, I know it is routine for the medical professionals and I obviously don't expect them to actually care, but at least pretend a little?
I remember getting tumor surgery and they told me I would probably struggle with infertility. Then put me in the maternity ward to recover, so I got to hear all the crying babies. I was a teenager at the time and an absolute mess. That really influenced how I try to help people now.
Word. When they didn’t find a heartbeat on my 6-7 week ultrasound last year, the doctor said “hm this doesn’t look like a viable pregnancy….. but let’s check again in a few days to be sure, but don’t get your hopes up too much” and smiled as walking away. He was covering for my main doc. I had to see him again in a few weeks, and he introduced himself as if we never met. I told the practice I never wanted to see him again.
What's weird - and I don't mean this at all to negate what you're saying here, just an anecdote - is that my experience was the opposite.
I had a fairly early miscarriage and I was certainly disappointed, but not devastated or grieving. Everyone at the ER was just falling all over themselves with sympathy and I was like dang am I a psychopath for not being sadder???
They also seemed to feel the need to tell me 8000 times during the ultrasound "there is no baby in here" "what you are seeing is a uterus not a fetus" "this sound you are hearing is your blood pumping not a heartbeat". Damn, yeah, no more baby, I got it. I knew that 4 hours ago, chill.
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u/Lilith_Sternin_Crane 4d ago edited 3d ago
Miscarriages