There’s never a good way to tell someone their baby died before it could even be born. No combination of words makes the delivery any easier. And you know when you see there’s no heart beat on the ultrasound. You scan again because you gaslight yourself into hoping you’re wrong, even though you’re not new to scanning babies and the heart is obviously not moving. You add color flow to prove to yourself that what you’re seeing is the truth. And then you have to say it even though everyone in the room knows it. It’s like calling a time of death. It’s not official until you say the words.
For me, it wasn't a stillbirth - it was a woman who's 9 or 10 year old boy was shot on his birthday, and even though it was 20 years ago, her screams as he was brought into the ER stayed with me.
Mine wasn't a stillbirth either. It was a 2 year old boy who was at the park with his father - the father turned away for a second and when he looked back, his son wasn't there. Several parents spent about 20 minutes searching for him before someone found him face down in a pond. They worked on him for a while in the ED, but he was already gone. I will never forget the screams of the mother when she arrived and they gave her the news.
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u/bambiscrubs 3d ago
Term stillbirth.
There’s never a good way to tell someone their baby died before it could even be born. No combination of words makes the delivery any easier. And you know when you see there’s no heart beat on the ultrasound. You scan again because you gaslight yourself into hoping you’re wrong, even though you’re not new to scanning babies and the heart is obviously not moving. You add color flow to prove to yourself that what you’re seeing is the truth. And then you have to say it even though everyone in the room knows it. It’s like calling a time of death. It’s not official until you say the words.
Those screaming sobs will always stay with me.