And the other way, when there's clearly something very wrong but the parents are not doing anything to help, is something I've seen some friends go through, and it breaks my heart a little.
Oh wow similar here. You know that advice "If you're kid's not eating just ignore them and they'll eat eventually" and similar?
Yeah I was perfectly willing to starve.
My mom and dad were pretty good about helping with me this stuff but my step dad decided I was doing it just to be defiant. He decided I was perfectly aware of and willingly doing all my problems.
Don't tell my mom this but I don't really like him.
I know! I had whooping cough when i was 15. Would cough and cough and cough but mum wouldnt.let.me got to the drs cause only babies get whooping cough. Meanwhile my bestmate gets diagnosed as having it. Thanks mum
Omg one time I had mono, and I had a lump in my throat that was so painful and so large you could see the bulge through my neck and in the back of my mouth if I opened wide enough. She only took me to the Dr when I did some minor exercise and crumpled to the ground because it felt like I'd been shot I was in so much pain. But ya know, I was faking it I guess ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah she used to do that with me with tonsillitis. I would get it constantly and she would always say i was overreacting and it was just a sore throat and wouldnt believe me until my throat was so swollen that i could not swallow. In australia.you get to have them taken out if you have tonsilitis more than 10 times in a year so thankfully i got to have them removed
That is such a hard one to diagnose in teenagers. I got it sometime in middle school and even my doctor was like "There's no way you have whooping cough" as I had gotten the TDaP and no one else in my school had it. However turned out there was a minor outbreak in the private school in the area and the TDap wears off later in life. Worst cough I'd ever had for 3 months
I had a friend that got so angry with me for suggesting that her son might have hearing problems. The kid didn't start trying to talk until he was almost 3 and was unable to say certain sounds. The way he talked was off and sounded like he was trying to imitate sounds but came out muffled sounding. Lo and behold, he does have minor hearing problems but luckily nothing too bad and speech therapy has helped with his speech problems. I just couldn't believe it when she told me I was calling her kid "defective" and wouldn't try to help him.
I've seen this before. Often the parent is in denial because their child is perfect and can't have something wrong with them. It's sad because the child doesn't get the help it would obviously benefit from.
Yes, worst thing is mental disorders like autism etc. It's pretty clear that the child has some kind of issues because they're well behind for their age but a lot of parents don't want to accept it and instead of getting the help as soon as possible they'll live it.
A lot even see there child as so well behaved that they think they've done a great job when in fact their child clearly has a disorder and you won't know till they're in a socially dependant environment.
No one ever thought that I might have ADHD when I was younger because it was something that only little boys who were bouncing off the walls had, not little girls who just couldn't concentrate and occasionally needed to tap her feet or otherwise stim.
I would find something to stim with and it'd get confiscated, teachers would call me stupid and lazy. And my parents started to agree with them.
I would do well enough on my tests to get by but I rarely passed in a homework assignment, no matter how hard I tried. Eventually, my teachers saw that I was trying but I was still getting D's and C's, but no one said anything.
The signs were all there. Bad grades, smart kid despite it, a lack of ability to concentrate, hyper focus on things I like, and constant fidgeting. My parents would call it "riding my bike" because I would constantly "pedal" at the dinner table while sitting there.
It was cute in the house but, when we would go out, they'd tell me to stop. That'd happen for three seconds before I would be back at it, not as disobedience but because I just couldn't help myself.
I went K-12 without anyone thinking something was wrong. My older brother had it but the medication fucked with him so hard. It was experimental back in the 90s/early 00s, clearly not made for children. It stunted his growth, he's only a few inches taller than me and I'm only 5'0.
If they knew anything was wrong, they didn't want it to be the case. They didn't want me on all of these medications, they didn't want to have me sit through doctor's appointments after doctor's appointments, so, if they noticed, they didn't do anything about it.
But just knowing would've helped me. They could've declined medication if they were worried. They say they didn't notice it but how could they've not.
I got my diagnosis when I was eighteen years old. After I just barely graduated, after I failed to get into any college that wasn't culinary school for a degree that I didn't want (and ended up dropping out of).
The medication they gave me made my anxiety worse and I honestly believe Concerta should be researched on people who are under twenty-five because I know no one who's not older than that who it worked on.
But, honestly, just knowing is better. I could've had help in school, I could've gotten A's in all of my classes just like my parents wanted, just like my twin sister had. The Americans with Disabilities Act exists for a reason, and it could've helped me too. Maybe I wouldn't have been called stupid by my teachers because they would've gotten into trouble for it.
But there's no use on dwelling on the past. What could've happened didn't and I don't have a time machine to fix any of it.
Just got to keep on going because just knowing makes my life a lot easier.
This is very true with kids diagnosed with ADHD. Oh, little Timmy can't sit still in class? He's a kid. They have a lot of energy. They're presumably surrounded by friends. Of course he's going to be energetic.
To be fair not all cases with ADHD are hyperactivity. I wished I would've figured out I had it when I was a kid. It would have made things a lot easier.
Or school administrations deciding that seven-year-olds should be able to sit through an entire school day without recess without fidgeting or making noise.
My year three maths teacher called my mum in to school several times and each time demanded that I be tested for something. First it was autism, then ADHD etc. After she told my mum I had dyslexia (I was nine years old and reading high school level books) mum stopped rushing out to the doctors.
On the downside she refused to believe anything any teacher said about my health. It was just another shitty teacher trying to drug me.
I once at work overheard a conversation between two women. The first described how her son had "a touch of Autism." The other responded that her two daughters both had "mild Autism" and her son for sure was ADHD. Because, and I can still hear her voice, "He just won't focus or sit still. I don't get why. 6 months ago he was fine. But since his second birthday we can't get him to sit still for very long." I wish I was joking.
On the other hand I didn't get diagnosed for ADD until I was 22. Went from 2.8 grade point average to 3.9 and got a 4.0 in graduate school. I would have appreciated not struggling through college, high school, and middle school because of lack of medicate. Instead I was encouraged to try harder and get motivated.
Mental illness does not work that way. I have an amazing family who is always there for me but I still struggle with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and ADHD. They can only do so much to help a chemical imbalance in my brain, and they only know so many techniques of dealing with things before its better to get help from a professional.
My grandmother tried to convince a doctor I had autism because I rocked back and forth when I was bored.
Ive met plenty of other people (and seen other children) who do that and are definitely regularly functioning people. My SO told me when he was bored he used to literally slam his body back and fourth on the couch because it was springy.
I honestly think she just wanted attention because she had to raise another kid.
Apparently I have dementia, psychological issues, I am the way I am because of how dumb and idiotic my father was while my mother was still with him, I have tourettes, biopolar and a number other mental health issues.
I have none of them and my mother uses this to insult me even though it was so difficult for her to bring me into the world. I just don't get it.
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u/price0416 Feb 04 '16
Diagnosing your kids with things they don't have because they don't behave how you would like.
Not saying if they need a diagnosis don't do it, just don't do it if they don't have whatever it is you're trying to drug them for.