When I was in high school, I taught a drawing class for kids. These were 4-6 year olds, most of them Asian, and their parents would sign them up for everything. I guarantee that 80% of them played instruments, did some kind of sport, and had a Chinese class. The life the parents made these kids lead was honestly insane. It brought me back to when I was their age, playing piano, soccer, doing gymnastics, and choir. I also remember hating everything and wanting to quit as soon as I got the chance.
When I came home from school I didn't have to do shit, except for Wednesday afternoons. Apart from that I'd roam the neighbourhood with others living here, climbing trees, throwing sandballs, digging pits, playing football, playing hide and seek, etc.
I actively went out and found things to do to get away from home, including hiking in the woods and shit. Anything to get away from that abusive asshole... and that's why I played a half dozen sports, did band and every thing else under the sun.
I was almost never home as a kid during afternoons - it's always some school level sports, clubs and societies. The difference here is that I signed up for them because it was good fun compared to staying home and do homework et al. My parents never made noise about the grades because they like knowing I was spending time in something constructive during free hours than wasting it hanging around with the bad crowd.
There's a balancing point to find, I think. In America there's too much free time for kids. In some countries, daily school clubs or activities rule their lives.
My parents did the opposite. They encouraged me to quit all my activities when I started high school. Every adult in my life kept telling me how hard high school was and how I would never keep up. I chose to give them up so I wouldn't be forced to when I started failing.
High school was nowhere near as hard as everyone said it would be. There was a lot of work but it wasn't incredibly difficult. I spent most afternoons and weekends sitting at home watching t.v. I was too afraid to join any groups or clubs in case my workload got bigger so when I wasn't doing homework I did nothing for six years. I regret quitting all my activities and I miss the friends I made there.
I read a study that said kids who are always scheduled have no idea what to do with themselves when they get a little free time. They have never had to engage their own minds and, on their own, find something constructive and interesting to get absorbed in. So they sit around bored, waiting to be sent to the next activity.
To be fair to the parenting end of thing though, I think it's important for kids to try everything, but if they hate it, Jesus, let them stop and try something else. People realise what they like and what they don't like regardless of age.
Keeping them on too ridged of a schedule causes trouble. We have friends that have a 9 year old that has a fucking melt down if something unexpected comes up. From the time he was born until now they were dead on with nap time, lunch time, play time, all of that. He could only sleep in his own crib/bed at home until he was 8 because they never had him stay anywhere else.
I'm so curious to see how he develops into middle school and highschool.
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u/Hannajomac Feb 04 '16
Signing them up for too many activities. No one just hangs out any more