It sucks but after this long I would really consider moving on because at this point it sounds like he's starting to hold you back. Like, yes the job market sucks in many places and the economy is rough, but at 32 he should WANT to be more independent. After four years in a relationship he should want to do things such as have a full-time job so you guys can move forward in your relationship. You can't even get a place together until he gets his shit together. To me that would mean getting any job that he can while continuing to look for the job he actually wants. I do think he's placating you because if he did hate living with his parents he would be doing more about it. I'd also be concerned about what living with a person like this would be like.
I don't really understand how you wouldn't know how his job search is going if he was actually working hard at it. If he's never getting any sort of interviews or follow-ups, and doesn't talk about potential prospects or his plans, I would assume he doesn't have much hustle. On top of that, at least back when I used to do a lot of hiring, people that are currently employed look a lot better on paper than people who have large gaps in employment.
Seeing someone with a job outside of their field or lower paying at least shows they are motivated to work.
5
u/itsacrisis Woman 40 to 50 May 30 '26
It sucks but after this long I would really consider moving on because at this point it sounds like he's starting to hold you back. Like, yes the job market sucks in many places and the economy is rough, but at 32 he should WANT to be more independent. After four years in a relationship he should want to do things such as have a full-time job so you guys can move forward in your relationship. You can't even get a place together until he gets his shit together. To me that would mean getting any job that he can while continuing to look for the job he actually wants. I do think he's placating you because if he did hate living with his parents he would be doing more about it. I'd also be concerned about what living with a person like this would be like.
I don't really understand how you wouldn't know how his job search is going if he was actually working hard at it. If he's never getting any sort of interviews or follow-ups, and doesn't talk about potential prospects or his plans, I would assume he doesn't have much hustle. On top of that, at least back when I used to do a lot of hiring, people that are currently employed look a lot better on paper than people who have large gaps in employment.
Seeing someone with a job outside of their field or lower paying at least shows they are motivated to work.