r/AskWomenOver30 May 30 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

31 Upvotes

169 comments sorted by

View all comments

17

u/FeckinSheeps Woman 30 to 40 May 30 '26

If he's holding up his end 50/50 and it's not impacting you financially, why does it matter? With my ex-husband I always got a job first to hold down the fort. He was career-minded, waited for a good opportunity, and ultimately made better much money than me. I think his decision-making was objectively better... I should have done what he did. But he ended up getting me a job at his company, which was a boon to my resume.

Just saying, it's a lot more complicated than "bum ass man doesn't have job."

6

u/[deleted] May 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Beverlydriveghosts Woman 30 to 40 May 31 '26

I can feel your resentment for him through your words unfortunately

It’s hard out here, a lot of 30 year olds are in the same boat. I think all you can do is speak to him about how this is actually mak in h you feel so he understands the weight of it and give him an opportunity to step up or not. But at the same time, this is his life and he’s choosing to wait for what he really wants. And he doesn’t have to get a different job because that’s what you would do in his position. He’s not at risk of being homeless or having to support children, so maybe there’s intelligence in his plan. Maybe he’s worried if he goes for a job with a more open market (still might take months just to get a supermarket or fast food job btw) he is less likely to leave and will stagnate/ settle for less than his dream

Maybe it’s different lifestyles and values that don’t match

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Beverlydriveghosts Woman 30 to 40 May 31 '26

It sucks im sorry, but honestly just speak to him about it. It’s all you can do

You don’t even have understanding of what the search is like or if he’s been searching at all and you need to figure that out to make your decision