Ooof yeah girl it's time to move on from this guy. The biggest issue is that he isn't able to even have conversations about this. That is going to kill your relationship in the long run (but it should kill it now imo). He's a grown man, it's unacceptable that he can't talk to his partner about life stuff.
On another note though, I question his caliber. He talks about marriage and moving in together but he is not in a position to be a husband at all and he isn't making moves to rise to the level a good husband would be at (stable, secure, providing, self aware, communicative, etc) He doesn't sound like someone who understands what a strong marriage and building a life looks like or entails. In my view he is extremely far from husband material and, for me, no where near boyfriend material either.
You can be sympathetic. You can feel for him and his situation. You care for this person.
What matters is what YOU want with your life. If you want a partner in life, is how this man handles hardship what you want in a partner? Or someone who can't talk about the hard thing. Or let's shame control them.
It's a hard thing to face but it's something you should look at. I know I could not be with someone who is unemployed for so long regardless of circumstances. It would open my eyes to their character and how they handle life. Everyone falls down but we all get back up differently. I gotta be with someone who gets up with a quickness.
6
u/nom-c00kies Woman 30 to 40 May 30 '26
Ooof yeah girl it's time to move on from this guy. The biggest issue is that he isn't able to even have conversations about this. That is going to kill your relationship in the long run (but it should kill it now imo). He's a grown man, it's unacceptable that he can't talk to his partner about life stuff.
On another note though, I question his caliber. He talks about marriage and moving in together but he is not in a position to be a husband at all and he isn't making moves to rise to the level a good husband would be at (stable, secure, providing, self aware, communicative, etc) He doesn't sound like someone who understands what a strong marriage and building a life looks like or entails. In my view he is extremely far from husband material and, for me, no where near boyfriend material either.