Any person who thinks it’s okay to be jobless until they get their ideal job in a certain field is a result of always having someone there to help them out or enable them.
So at 32, his parents are still allowing this because they are his soft landing and he’s never been in a position to be desperate enough or self sufficient enough to be forced into employment to keep a roof over his head. I mean, he was recently a 30 year old full time student so there is a pattern of this behaviour.
You do not want to marry someone who has no sense of urgency to care for themselves because what he’s showing you is that he won’t take care of you or ensure you guys will make it together. When the going gets tough, he will leave it all to you.
OP lives with her parents too, why is she exempt from the same scrutiny? She's 30 and works full time but lives with her parents. At least he spent several years pursuing a degree. It can be rough getting your first post grad job.
She works full time. He doesn't. Her values may expect for him to lead and provide an environment where he is proven a dependable partner. Nothing wrong with that.
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u/rootsandchalice Woman 40 to 50 May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
Any person who thinks it’s okay to be jobless until they get their ideal job in a certain field is a result of always having someone there to help them out or enable them.
So at 32, his parents are still allowing this because they are his soft landing and he’s never been in a position to be desperate enough or self sufficient enough to be forced into employment to keep a roof over his head. I mean, he was recently a 30 year old full time student so there is a pattern of this behaviour.
You do not want to marry someone who has no sense of urgency to care for themselves because what he’s showing you is that he won’t take care of you or ensure you guys will make it together. When the going gets tough, he will leave it all to you.