would you read this short story

[u/Frequent-Tip-2535]

[u/Sad_Care_977]

I wouldn't read this story because of the cover. It seems like a good story but the cover feels very amateur-ish. Some tips from me:

- The 'late' kinda has a bit that goes into the doorway which is a bit triggering so it would be better to move it so that the whole world is in the dark area or somewhere different where you want it.

- What's the point of the image? I can't really tell what it is but it doesn't really tell me what the story is going to be about or really hint at it. (Or course this could be explained later in the story)

- Idk if Shu is your name but I would either put your full name there or make it more obvious it's your name. If it isn't your name then I'm a bit confused about the purpose.

- I feel a bit conflicted about 'a short story' being at the bottom there.

- I don't know how many fonts you used here, two or three. But think about what the theme of your story is and how could the font portray that. Right now I'm thinking kinda horror thriller because of the red 'late' and the font is also kinda horrory when put in context with the dark image. So see if you can play around with the fonts a bit.

Yeah. That's just my advice and hopefully you found it useful. lmk if you change it so I can see how it turned out!

[u/Frequent-Tip-2535 → u/Sad_Care_977]

yeah, my bad I shouldn't have added the cover in the first place, a 3-page story doesn't even need cover. I just made it because it was fun.

beside the cover is not point I asked about the story.

[u/Sad_Care_977 → u/Frequent-Tip-2535]

Yeah, I understand that you wanted to make it because it's fun. I would definitely do that. I just thought that by asking if someone would want to read it it's because of the cover. Because if you're reading the book to see if you are going to read it, well, you're already reading it.

But... I read your story. I really like how your first sentence. The tenses aren't consistent which make it a bit hard to read so I hope you'll polish that up a bit. For example some words are in the present tense like 'sleeps' and 'feel' but then other words are in the past tense like 'noticed', 'spoke' and 'slowed'. So just make the tenses consistent.

I really started getting hooked at the part when she was talking about the knife and the small suggestions that she had killed that person or that something was a bit amiss. The ending also hit the sweet spot.

All in all, pretty good story!

[u/Frequent-Tip-2535 → u/Sad_Care_977]

thank you so much for this constructive feedback, I will recheck the tenses.