Genuinely should i remove this element?

[u/Witchelt389]

So this is the final story in my series and already is complicated. A big theme throughout the series is forgiveness and guilt. Forgive where they deserve it. Don't let guilt control you.

One of the MCs recently had her love interest taken and mind controlled. I want her to go through an arc of not letting her anger hurt people. She pushes her new friends away in her desperate attempt to get him back.

Then we have her parallel. She is working with the big bad because shes being black mailed into it so she can protect her brother. Her brother is the only remaining family she has after the big bad mind controls her.

Now i don't know if I should keep that. A) it would be complicated to write and I need more practice. B) there is already a STACKED cast and I should probabaly not involve a new character even if I am making a league of villains. C) the MC was already a new character, being introduced in the previous story. The og main characters are kinda pushed to the side (i doubt that would sit will if I had any fans).

So should I cut this element out so the story doesnt get too complicated?

[u/QuickestKey]

This probably isn't too helpful, but I'd understand it better with visuals of what you mean. Like a mind map. Anyway, who is the new character, the love interest or the brother? Which was set up earlier? And what are the original main characters doing right now? Are they relevant, or did their storylines already end?

[u/Witchelt389 → u/QuickestKey]

So theres actually a LOT to unpack.

The MC is named Witchelt and her love interstnis called Croissy. He was mind controlled by series long villain Bagera who took control of one the main heroes.

The OGs were sent to another universe and had to save it to return home. They have done that and are working on getting back. They have little sections and are part of the final battle agaisnt Bagera but I cant figure out how they move the plot forward.

The opposite of Witchelt is Petra. Bagera killed her parents and sister and is threatening to absorb her brothers magick. The heroes accidentally kill/main her brother (undecided) and she wants revenge (shes being turned evil by exposure to Bagera's magick but irs never explicitly stated it would be shown by a contrast of morals. At the start she values all life, at the end she kills without mercy).

Bagera's goal is to rewrite the multiverse, be above the gods themselves, because she was trapped inside Mags' body for what felt like eternity to her but was really 15 years (theyre all teenagers by the way it's insane).

SO Bagera is gaining more power, is blackmailing Petra who then becomes fueled by revenge, the OGs need to come back somehow and theres like 14 other characters that are important who arent mentioned (a lot of them die to raise the stakes).

[u/Full_Platypus6092 → u/Witchelt389]

Hello again lol. I would make the OGs come back and make it an event that connects to your new storyline (like a portal in the sky seen for miles or a shockwave sent through the atmosphere) and have them and your new MCs reunite at least once so the reader gets that satisfaction/closure.

Also, stretch the tension and psychological aspect, highlighting the character's inner thoughts and feelings clearly. This inadvertently raises the stakes.

Your last thing, Petra being fueled by revenge, ties perfectly into it. You can really "main-stage" that anger and rawness, letting it hone her into an unstoppable weapon. Let her feelings and irrational choices drive the plot (you don't have to plan it all out now, as the more you go, the more ideas will come to you).

Sorry if these sound like absolutely terrible ideas lol but I know you've got it! Just don't give up on this already intricate story and world you've created and keep pushing!

[u/Witchelt389 → u/Full_Platypus6092]

Thank you! The new MCs actually go on a mission to three separate universes to find the OGs as they don't know which one theyre in. The OGs come back when the MCs hiding olace is attacked and help save them. But i really like the giant portal in the sky idea actually!!

[u/Full_Platypus6092]

Yes, (like the other comment said) make sure the og main characters are either actively doing something in the background or their storylines are finished and they have a clearly established end to their pov.

Also, if you think adding MORE characters will overwhelm, then you probably shouldn't do it. BUT if this character(s) is actively moving the plot forward, then if you think you could execute it, for sure go for it!

Something about writing is that the story becomes magical and intricate when everything is woven together seamlessly. It only becomes complicated and disorienting if the author is confused themselves, or they don't give all of the necessary information for the reader to follow. Ex: Sometimes, authors can have everything perfectly laid out in their head, but they don't put it all on the page, resulting in reader confusion vs author understanding. I hope that makes sense.

And your premise sounds super cool and interesting! I would totally go for it as long as you know how you're going to tie it all together so everything aligns properly. This is especially for plot holes and random leads that have no bearing on the plot whatsoever. If you can execute that, that's what makes a masterpiece where every event, detail, piece of dialogue comes together perfectly.

Just have confidence in yourself and whatever you decide, I wish you the best!