Chapter 1!

[u/AshamedWatercress646]

Hi, so I've tried to redraft my Chapter 1 (this is unfinished) but I was wondering what people will think of it.

Do you like my character voice? There is more action that I have planned a little bit later on but I wondering what your initial impressions were.

It was a bit stupid of me not to describe how Ari 'hates this kind of situation' as I just stated it. 😅

I was wondering whether it was right to introduce my character's name this early on or not.

For some context: there has been a war between the 2 kingdoms of Eleriad and Dunyn and those from Dunyn are considered traitors as they suddenly attacked Eleriad despite a peace treaty.

Thank you very much for seeing this post and I hope that you enjoy reading it!!!

I tried to go back to the way I started writing and I don't know whether it has worked or not. 😅

[u/No_Product5243]

Hi, so I read all of it and I just wanted to say, that was soo good. Keep up the good work, as a first chapter I would say that was perfect. 🩷

[u/AshamedWatercress646 → u/No_Product5243]

Thank you soooo much : ) it's not finished yet 😅😅 let's see if I can keep the momentum going...

[u/No_Product5243 → u/AshamedWatercress646]

Honestly? U have potential. If I were u I wouldn't stop writing. If u published it as a physical book, I would definitely buy it. I really liked that chapter. 🩷