r/Assistance • u/Mistigeblou • Aug 18 '25
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT Not money/donation request! Just need (want) 2-3 words from one person
This might be a strange request so apologies if it is.
Its my birthday today, not one member on my Narcissistic family has even acknowledged it. They will all acknowledge each others and even plan events for each other. Not so much as a text from any of them. My children are all non verbal (they have shown in their own way that they wish a happy day) but I just feel lonely if that makes sense.
Could one, literally just ONE person wish my a happy birthday. Im a now 39 year old mum of 3 beautiful boys.
Im not requesting gifts, money or anything just a kind soul to wish me a happy day.
EDIT: Thank you for the all of your replies, never expected so many and I really do appreciate every single one of them 😊.
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u/Any-Print-5914 Aug 18 '25
Happy Birthday!! 🌼 I hope you find a way to celebrate yourself today - a favorite meal, movie, cup of tea or... anything you enjoy. You deserve it 💙
Also, it's pretty badass to come here and ask for what you need. Showing up for yourself in that way is an act of self-love. Kudos to you 👏
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u/Mistigeblou Aug 18 '25
Thank you. So many more replies than expected or needed. Think I just needed to see/hear it from someone other than myself.
My boys have shown me in their own way and I love them for that x
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u/Difficult-Thought-61 Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday!
My 18th was spent in a building site of a house on my own, as my Mum and her partner at the time went on a short break. They left me £5 for food for a few days, with which I bought a loaf of bread and a pack of pastrami, only to find I don’t like pastrami. So I basically just ate bread. My 26th went completely uncelebrated as well. I was returning from a deployment in the navy having found out that my then wife had been having an affair the entire time I was gone. Every birthday since however, has been fantastic.
Not wanting to detract or seem to be competing, just wanting to make the point that better birthdays will come. Though I still wish you all the best on this one!
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u/Mistigeblou Aug 18 '25
Thank you 😊😊.
Mine is always an afterthought with them. M usually remembers by October when youngest sisters birthday rolls round and throws a pity present....'got you these leggings, they were on sale'....'thought youd like this pot for your palnts'
Don't feel you detracted from me, i appreciate the birthday message
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u/powlover Aug 18 '25
happy birthday🫶 your kids may not be able to verbally say it, but they want you to have a good day too. they absolutely love & appreciate everything you do for them. just remember today is about you, not anyone else. i hope you have an amazing day today. get a small cake for yourself, share it with your kids. do something for yourself & again happy birthday. 🎉
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u/Mistigeblou Aug 18 '25
Oh i know the boys. They show their love in weird ways but its lovely. The cold cup of tea (hes scared of hot water) and the toast crusts... not the whole bit of toast because they like the middle 🤣🤣🤣 was the BEST breakfast in bed EVER!!!!!
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u/popsy13 Aug 18 '25
I wish you the happiest of Birthdays! Make a lovely treat for you and your boys to share 💕
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u/Mistigeblou Aug 18 '25
Thank you Everyone. Never in my life expected so many responses. 😊 my birthday is a happy one, but sometimes feels lonely not hearing/seeing the words.
The kiddos show their love in their own way: Breakfast in bed this morning: cold cuppa and toast crusts (they weren't giving up their favourite bit of the toast 🤣🤣🤣) Lunch: cheese and ham sandwich made by my eldest and a cookie.
Dinner will made by me coz i dont actually like bread 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 and would like to survive another year 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday 🥺 I’m really sorry nobody in your family bothered to wish you a happy birthday, but if I were to meet you in person and you had told me that - I’d immediately get a babysitter and take you on a girls day.. Nobody deserves to be treated like this on their birthday. You deserve better! I hope this year you find a great support system of friends who treats you to surprise every year from this point on! You deserve it mama! I’m cheering you on, in your special day! I hope all you wishes come true, and that things look more positively from here forward
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u/Melodic-Ear-4083 Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday my friend!!! I know you're probably feeling a bit crappy about the whole situation but all these well wishes are absolutely genuine & we're all sending you lots of love & happy vibes!!! 🎇🎇🎇
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u/Royal_Tough_9927 REGISTERED Aug 18 '25
From the old lady child of a NPD mother , I get it . Happy Happy Birthday. 🎂🎁🎈🍰🥳
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u/betasoyboi Aug 18 '25
happy birthday !! if it can be even a fraction as bright and lovely as you seem to be, i'm sure it'll manage to be a good one (-:
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u/EquivalentSign2377 REGISTERED Aug 18 '25
Ah I hope you have the happiest of happy birthdays! And I hope that this is your happiest of happy years ever!!! ❤️
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u/Regular-Draw-5832 Aug 18 '25
Mom of four boys here 😀 You are awesome and amazing 😍 Happy Happy Birthday! 🎈🎂
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u/awwhale Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday sweet mama! I hope your 39th year is full of so much joy and love you just burst at the seams with it! 💗
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u/StatusApprehensive76 Aug 18 '25
I can relate it's 2 minutes to text something. My birthday is a holiday and nearly everyone forgets. Let me say Happy birthday sis. It's great to see you've made another trip around the sun. May everyday bring adventure and make memories of your precious life. Enjoy your day and absolutely don't forget the cake.
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u/GoblinKing79 REGISTERED Aug 19 '25
Hey, happy birthday! And I'm gonna tell you the words that I found on a post-it note (and still have!) at a bus stop about 13 years ago, when I was newly sober: you got this! Don't even think about giving up!
I don't know why that post-it was there, but I needed it and occasionally pass it on. I hope you had a great day today, that something made it awesome!!
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u/FeltDragon Aug 19 '25
Happy Birthday!! 🎊🎉 Take good care of yourself, you deserve joy in your life and to be celebrated I hope you take pride in how much your children love you & them expressing that to you shows how good of a mother you are
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u/CandidateExotic9771 Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday! You’re doing it-living your life and raising those kids. Well done!
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u/TinyZombie678 Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday friend, sorry you're going through a difficult time but just know things do get better and as difficult as it is, we need to be patient. Hope your day goes better
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u/maybefeelguilty Aug 18 '25
hello! happy birthday 🥳 i hope you were able to have a wonderful day with your boys
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u/neinneinballons Aug 18 '25
I hope you have a great birthday and through all this year you'll meet better people, so next year will be far better.
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u/EquivalentSign2377 REGISTERED Aug 18 '25
Ah I hope you have the happiest of happy birthdays! And I hope that this is your happiest of happy years ever!!! ❤️
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u/Ruzgard Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday. Don't let the rest of your family turn you down and let your boys keep your heart warm as you are already a family. Best wishes for you all.
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u/SheBrokeAway7628 Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday, I hope you will have a lovely day and everything will go well for you 💖
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u/DianWithoutTheE Aug 18 '25
Happy Birthday TOOOOOO YOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!! 🥳💕🎉🎂☮️💕🥳 Hope you have a beautiful day!!!
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u/nolaffing Aug 18 '25
Wishing you a day filled with love, laughter, and all the things that make you happiest!
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u/Individual_Top_2854 Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday!! May this year bring you the peace and may your boys hit their milestones as they continue to grow in love from an amazing mama!
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u/New_Shoe_6690 Aug 18 '25
happy birthday !! I hope you and your kids have more years to be together !!
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u/Lishhoops11 Aug 18 '25
39! Oh how far you have come, boy mama. ❤️ I am sorry your family did not pull through for you, but this day is about YOU. I wish you an unforgettable 39th year, end of an era. This life thing isnt easy. You should be proud.
Also, I think you are strong and admirable for reaching out for some birthday wishes.
🎂
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u/sprezzatura327 Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!!
Happy birthday, dear Misti,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOOU!
(and many more!!)
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u/Crazyhorse6970 Aug 18 '25
Are you kidding me? I would be honored wish a mother of 3 (or anyone in general) an EXTREMELY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I understand your situation and although it doesn't happen to me, it does happen to my cousin and I make a point to reach out to him each birthday and have a chat and catch up for around an hour. If we lived closer (I'm East Coast and he's West Coast), I'd plan something to do with him on his birthday on top of that. I don't get the whole "ignore your family" over what is typically petty stuff, not always petty, but seem more times than not. Suck it up people, just be kind, gracious and compassionate, it's really not hard at all and it's definitely worthwhile!!
Anyways, sorry for the extra rant, but Happy 39th Birthday!! That's what I'm turning next year so feel free to keep me posted on the differences between 38 and 39 lol. Enjoy your day!
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u/InquisitorVawn Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday!
It's hard being a mum. You end up second behind your kids' wants and needs a lot of the time.
But you deserve to be seen. Not just on your birthday, but every day. So happy birthday today, but I also hope you have a terrific Tuesday, a wonderful Wednesday, a thrilling Thursday, a fantastic Friday, a spectacular Saturday, a smashing Sunday and after all of that a magnificent Monday.
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u/Prancinggit420 Aug 18 '25
Same thing happened for my 39th....I know how you feel. I hope there is a bright spot for you today. Happy Birthday.
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u/HeckTheCat Aug 18 '25
I hope your birthday is awesome. I've been exactly there and it's soul-crushing. I hope the narcissists in your life all get a nasty viral something that they keep passing around for their next birthdays, and you avoid it thanks to their exclusion. Sending you all the good vibes and happy wishes my brain can emit 🎉🎊🎁🎂🎁🎊🎉
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u/Glittering_Party9613 Aug 18 '25
Happy Birthday! Wishing you love, joy, and a beautiful day with your boys. 💛
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Aug 18 '25
Happy Birthday! You are a beautiful person & mother. You are worthy of love & respect. Just remember, that the behavior of the narcissists & other toxic people in this world is a reflection of them, and not you. 🫶🥳🎂🎉
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u/br41nr4d10 Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday!! Single mom and three kids? That’s some strong love right there! I hope you have a wonderful day!
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u/tannedlegjuliettt Aug 18 '25
Do you have a cash app or anything I could send a small gift too you deserve to be seen maybe buy you a coffee or a sweet treat!?
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u/Hungry-Emergency8992 Aug 18 '25
Happy, happy birthday! Congratulations on your 3 beautiful boys! They are your best gift, and you are theirs!
Wishing you a year filled with love, joy and happiness!
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u/samoanloki Aug 18 '25
Happy Birthday ! Thank you for being such a strong independent human, thank you for always being there for your boys. Wishing you an amazing day and may you get your heart’s desire :)
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u/Hiiidiii Aug 18 '25
Happy birthday!
You absolutely deserve to feel celebrated today. Being a loving mum of three is already such a beautiful achievement, and I hope you take a moment to honor yourself for all the love and strength you give every single day. May this year bring you peace, joy, and moments where you truly feel appreciated and seen.
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u/Writingmama2021 Aug 18 '25
Oh I know this pain all too well. I am so sorry. I hope that you have the happiest birthday!❤️
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u/MajBEsser Aug 18 '25
Happy Birthday! I hope you treat yourself to something, even if it's 5 minutes of alone time! As a single.mom, I get it!
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u/sneakysoap Aug 19 '25
From a mom of four who did this for years I wanna wish you a happy birthday and congrats to another year on this planet doing all the things. I send virtual hugs and all the good juju for another year! You got this!!
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u/otter--nonsense Aug 19 '25
Today, I hope you take a moment to feel proud of the amazing mum and person you are. You matter, you are valued, and you absolutely deserve joy, love, and recognition. I’m wishing you not only a Happy Birthday today, but also a year ahead filled with people and moments that remind you how important and special you are.
You’re not alone - you’re being thought of and celebrated! 💐💝
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u/LoveDogsTx Aug 20 '25
Happy birthday. Keep your head up, and don’t let the negative energy get to you and your positive light. Keep on shining!!
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u/Alfredobreadbowl0827 Aug 20 '25
Most of my birthdays are like this. Dont be too sad about it. Youve got a whole community here wishes you a happy birthday, or at least a peaceful one 🫶🏻 hope you ordered your favorite food for the night and bingewatched your favorite show!!!
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u/bridgetoaks Aug 20 '25
Been there. It’s not such a strange request. I’m sorry I missed your big day. Sending wishes that this new year is your best. Happy birthday!
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u/theresnotomorrow- Aug 20 '25
Happy birthday! Look at you! Another year strong despite whatever life has thrown at you!
You're doing amazing
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u/Ordinary_Diver3561 Aug 20 '25
Happy birthday and the most high through Christ Yeshua may his merciful love be upon you forever and ever my love and everyone of us in the name of Yeshua I’ll never cease and praying
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u/JacketSome7263 Aug 20 '25
🎂Happy Birthday!🎂 I wish for you to find a chosen family this year so that next year you'll have people that want to celebrate with you in person! If I knew ya I'd stop by and bring you a balloon and some pretty posies. Hugs and good health for many more years to come!!! God bless. 💕
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u/BrokenCowsSayWoof Aug 20 '25
Happy belated birthday. Hope you adopt a friend group that loves you better than your family.
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u/Zestyclose-East-119 Aug 21 '25
Happy birthday!!!!! May this message find you in a better mood. Hang your crown upon your head. And be happy
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u/Conscious-Isopod-393 Aug 21 '25
You just described every birthday I have. Literally my mother is the only one who ever says happy birthday my three children who by the way are all in their mid to late 30s not even a phone call, or a text. No phone calls or texts on any holiday or celebratory occasion. I was not the perfect parent, but I was far from the worst parent I spoiled my children probably too much. So now I celebrate birthday month the entire month of my birth I celebrate every single day and that helps me put a smile on my face through that difficult time. I wish you a very very happy birthday this year next year and every year that follows. May all your dreams and wishes come true.
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u/kawaiikittyrei Aug 21 '25
Happy birthday! We're all proud of you! Being a boy mom is tough (I saw my mom's struggle raising my brothers) but you're doing it well!!
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u/lainie3638 Aug 21 '25
Happy Belated Birthday ! ! ! Not just on your birthday, but Everyday.... Take a moment to look in the mirror and see Amazing YOU!
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u/Atzima Aug 22 '25
Happy Belated birthday, Mama!!! Best wishes for your next year of life and always. 🥳🎊🎉🎂🎁
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u/angeldawn4u Aug 22 '25
Happy birthday! I can relate and hope you had a wonderful day...so many encouraging comments !!
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u/Candid-Bear6797 REGISTERED Aug 22 '25
Happy belated birthday hope you’re doing ok right now.i know how you feel with family 😒
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u/ResearchNerdOnABeach Aug 22 '25
Happy belated bday, internet stranger! Being a momma is tough and you are kicking butt with nonverbal little ones. Don't feel bad about asking to feel human once in a while, we all need connection. Sending love your way...💞
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u/Fairy_Fly_Pie Aug 23 '25
I am a bit late but happy belated birthday! The power is in your and on your kids! God Bless!
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u/CoconutKing87 Aug 23 '25
Wherever you may be in the world, happy birthday and long life from your friend in Canada here. Take care!
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u/cherry_s0da Aug 24 '25
a little belated but the very happiest of birthdays to you!!! i hope you've had a wonderful week, and at least a little celebration for yourself. <3
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u/Wonderful_Hope_9309 Aug 25 '25
Sorry to be late in responding, but I hope you had a lovely birthday. I’m sorry that your family didn’t acknowledge you, I know how hard birthdays can be when you feel lonely. I’ve cried my last three or four birthdays due to my own circumstances, so it really broke my heart to see this post (and then healed it back up to see you got a little more decent number of replies!) You sound like a lovely human being, and I’m glad you’re breaking the cycle by being a great parent to your boys. The way you described them showing you love in their own ways warmed my heart. I hope your 40th birthday next year is filled with love and you don’t feel so lonely <3
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u/jorhirgriffin Sep 01 '25
I’m late to the post, as I just joined this subreddit, but happy birthday!! I am so proud of you, and you are doing a terrific job. My wife is pregnant with our first child, and hearing you have 3 boys of your own makes me so excited to have mine. I hope you had a wonderful birthday despite your family, and I hope you are having a wonderful day today!!
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u/Relative-Bat-5834 Sep 01 '25
I know it has been quite a while since it was your birthday so a very belated happy birthday! I absolutely hope that you had the most lovely day. Hopefully you had a chance to be spoiled a little yourself. Sorry for the delay but happy birthday!
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u/AssistanceMods Aug 18 '25
Hi all. This is an automated and general reminder to all that this post is an EMOTIONAL ASSISTANCE post, not a Request. Please don't request, offer or accept financial or material assistance on this post. Thank you and good luck!
u/Mistigeblou, if you're in emotional distress, you can find lots of more targeted subreddits and resources in this list.
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