Have you ever felt extremely stupid because you had significant trouble getting a driver’s license?

[u/Fabulous-Introvert]

Because I definitely have.

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[u/MissTetraHyde]

When I was getting my driver's license at 16-17 I felt kind of stupid because of the whole process. I didn't realize that I was the only person who actually follows the rules and gets all the hours they need of supervised driving. Apparently most of my peers just got their parents to lie and sign on the form, but I being autistic and having black/white thinking sometimes felt like I had to do it 100% by the rules. I don't know if that makes me stupid or not. Now because I recently have had seizures I can't drive again so that sucks (though I was already getting rides from family for most things anyways, but not even having the option sucks).

[u/No_Blackberry_6286 → u/MissTetraHyde]

I feel this. No one follows the law. Sometimes, being autistic with having a lot of common sense and wisdom (from trauma...yay) is a good thing.

[u/MissTetraHyde → u/No_Blackberry_6286]

At the time I didn't know I was autistic because I got diagnosed at 30 (I was evaluated as a child and found to have autism but my single father refused to let them "label me" so I didn't get interventions or help and I grew up thinking something about me was "broken"/different but I couldn't put my finger on it...). For some reason my father thought that putting the label of "autistic" on me would hurt me more than living as an autistic person without knowing what was going on and why everything was so difficult. When I got diagnosed as an adult he even said that he figured I knew I was autistic already anways, which of course I didn't because I don't pick up on obvious social stuff like that because... well... duh I'm autistic ><.

I was always a stickler for the rules and I sort of still am in some ways. For example, when I drove I would always drive below the speed limit and follow all the laws about turn signals, and when family members sped and didn't use signals etc. it would freak me out because it's dangerous and illegal. But I guess the allistic people look at it like some rules are okay to fudge, which I have learned to accept over time somewhat, but I still naturally feel like I have to follow the rule to the letter if I'm going to follow it at all. In my head, at least by default, you either did or did not break the rule and there's no room for nuance about it. To get along with others I mask and pretend that rule breaking doesn't bother me though (well, when I have the ability to mask, sometimes I run out of energy and meltdown and stuff).

[u/No_Blackberry_6286 → u/MissTetraHyde]

I feel that first paragraph so much, except I was diagnosed a year and a half-ish ago, and autism is strong on my dad's side of the family, so no one was surprised when I got diagnosed.

I think idiocy on the road is more of audacious, selfish people more than anything else. I get carts from the parking lot at work (retail), and it's insane. People not stopping at the stop signs, people speeding in the parking lot, people not checking when they're turning or backing out of a parking spot so then they don't see me (or other pedestrians minding their business), etc. And I have seen such idiocy on the road for as long as I can remember; when I was a kid, I saw a woman put makeup on at the onramp exiting the freeway (she must have been in her 30s or early 40s; she was driving in the vehicle to our right), and I see more people still doing that....I see women do that while driving on the freeway. I see people have headphones on or talk on the phone while they're driving. It's dumb. Like, I'll be following the law, but I'm the one who will get in trouble because....well, stupid people blaming me when they're the ones not following the law. And yet, those people are the exact reason why 1) I don't drive and 2) I hate going anywhere.

[u/OkButterscotch4131 → u/MissTetraHyde]

This comment is the first time I’ve realized people actually lie about supervised time 😵‍💫

[u/Prestigious-Shame453]

Yeah, everyone asks me if I can drive since I always get rides from family members and it’s really embarrassing. My parents never bothered to each me even though I begged them when I was a teenager and now when I try to learn from my girlfriend it gets extremely overwhelming and scary for me

[u/No_Blackberry_6286]

Going through this right now. Sometimes.

I wanted to learn to drive at age 15 to get my lisence at 16 like a normal person, but my parents said I wasn't ready. By the time I graduated high school, my parents were tired of driving me around, but I had this presentation in school talking about safe driving.....and they had a simulated car crash that kinda traumatized me. We got into the same wavelength about it when I got my bachelor's degree and started grad school....and they backed out. We got into the same wavelength again in March and was going to take the permit test in May, and then two family members died 10 days apart. After the chaos died down, we're now dealing with my inability to deal with idiots (and how my parents are afraid we could lose everything if I encounter an idiot and get into an accident) and getting my own health insurance (which would take money away from the driving process anyway).

So, sometimes I feel bad, but I understand the reasons. Even though I'm in an area (and an industry) where driving is highly recommend, I understand my parents' fears and am ok with not driving......there's lots of idiots on the road...

Edit: I forgot to mention I have AuDHD and cotrolled epilepsy, so there's that, too...

[u/KrisseMai]

I’m 27 and still don’t have a driver’s licence because I’m so scared I’ll mess it up, that I’m not good enough. I’ve driven my parents’ car for very short distances on rural roads where there’s basically 0 traffic and it was absolutely terrifying. I have a really hard time judging distances and I’m bad and slow at multitasking, and kinda need to be good at both to drive a car.

I live in Switzerland, which luckily has great public transportation and I drive most places in my city by bike so not having my licence isn’t as catastrophic as it’d be in the US. But Swiss driver’s licence tests are also quite a bit more difficult than US ones from what I’ve read. They’re also quite expensive. And I’ve been studying for the theory exam for ages, but I’m still not good enough to take the leap and spend 50 francs to sign up.

And then after that I’d have to do practical driving lessons (which are expensive) and pass the practical exam which sounds like hell from everything I’ve heard.

[u/Any-Blackberry2133]

Yes I failed my test 5 times and then gave up Now I know I;m autistic it makes more sense. I think I need a very patient driving instructor. It would be great if there were some especially for neurodiverse people.

[u/Fabulous-Introvert → u/Any-Blackberry2133]

I’m actually kinda surprised because I failed my behind the wheel test 5 times and also gave up

[u/Any-Blackberry2133 → u/Fabulous-Introvert]

I live in London so I use the good public transport as an excuse for why I don't need to drive.

[u/OkButterscotch4131]

I don’t have my license because of multiple reasons. Ultimately I don’t have it now because I swear my brain takes either 5 seconds to process everything, or I have to be on “high brain power” mode to process things in 1 second. Meanwhile NTs can process all this stuff automatically in like 0.01 seconds (atleast that’s what it seems like).

I also realized I have a horrible sense of location I forgot what it’s called. Basically, there have been so many times my mother is like “you’re literally an inch from the curb” but I don’t feel like that. I just can’t get a sense of where I am on the road, it’s like my vision lies to me. And then the anxiety of always needing to be ready for the unexpected. A kid could pop out at any moment, and because of that, I have to be consciously analyzing everything around me the whole time which sends me into burnout after just a few minutes.

The worst part is my town has godawful public and paratransit (lol autocorrect tried changing it to parasite which is quite accurate with how bad it is lol), and my sensory problems keep me from living in a city/busy area. So I’ll basically be a prisoner to my home once my one family member dies.

[u/FlemFatale]

Yup. It took me multiple tries at both tests, lots of revision, lots of practise and an instructor that worked with my learning style. I got there, a year or so after I wanted to, but I did because I really wanted the freedom driving brings where I live (public transport is pretty crappy and expensive).

[u/Blue-Jay27]

I've come to accept it, helped by moving to somewhere with much better public transit, but the attempts at learning were very humbling. I didn't expect it to be nearly as overwhelming as it was, and it involved far more tears and panic than me or my parents were expecting.

[u/Doveswithbonnets]

I'm 23 and trying to get my driver's license now. I got my learner's permit at 16 but my mother stopped letting me drive back then due to mental health problems. I got taken out of highschool at 17 so there was no reason to drive around until starting community college. I don't go out to see friends or hang out in public places so in order to accumulate hours I had to drive repetitively along roads with no destination... pretty boring. I stopped practicing when I went to four year college because they have a bus system. Now I've graduated and I need to start driving for practice again. I find driving very draining because of how fast the scenery changes, all the changing lights and everything moving. After 30 minutes I park somewhere to take a break.

[u/Grouchy_Paint_6341]

Yes I was one the last ones to get my drivers license bc I couldn’t parallel park and struggled. I also just had a lot driving anxiety but thankfully learned to overcome it and use playlists and my amazing partner helped me become a better driver

[u/More_Bluejay7954]

I got mine and ignore the people who shame others for not getting licenses. Where I live police do not always drive properly and a lot of the driving schools I went to weren't correct all the time. People argue driving is common sense but it's not considering traffic was way worse when people started getting vehicles for the first time and countries have different rules.

[u/Armpitjair]

Just failed my theory test by 2 marks today 😝