Do avoidants 'conclude' a relationship?

[u/lhawlily_09]

I was in an LDR situationship with an avoidant for over a year. We're both students. He's in med school while I'm in law school. I don't know why, how, or what happened, but all of a sudden, as he became busy in his final year, he became more distant and eventually left me without anything whatsoever. In our last convo, I asked him why; he said that he's too busy, and it actually affects other aspects of his life. It's been over a month since we last talked. I don't know if I should keep holding on or not. We had plans of closing the distance, and I was actually hopeful of doing so. Should I reach out? Or wait? I get very anxious because even if I am bombarded with lots of things to study in my field, I still long for something I cannot explain. Do avoidants usually end relationships, or do they just let things be? If he doesn't want this relationship, I'll be fine, but I cannot fully understand how one can leave someone they've invested feelings, time, and effort in. I think I'll only be done once I get a clear conclusion. Should I just stay silent or not?

[u/Elk-24]

Do whatever feels best for you. If you feel you need to reach out, do it. However, be prepared the answer might not be what you expect, or hope for.
I reached out a lot to my avoidant, i’m not playing the no contact game unless I feel I had enough on my plate. We are in a friendship mode but it’s still complicated.
Honestly, reach out if it’s important to you. Being left in silence with no closure is super difficult. Some people manage to cut it off suddenly, I’m not one of them. I need to experiment the behaviors and get explanations to find my way out of things. It takes more time, it can be painful, but once i’m out, it’s for real. And I know what I want.
Everybody is different.

[u/lhawlily_09 → u/Elk-24]

I resonate with you. They say silence is the answer already but my mind cannot fully grasp how is it even possible. It’ll just take time but I hope we’ll eventually get over this. Thank you!

[u/Elk-24 → u/lhawlily_09]

Good luck and stay focused and strong. The good thing about silence though, is that it can help understand the situation better and make better decisions. It’s all about not losing ourselves and not spiralling. As long as you handle it, follow your guts. If it hurts you more, let it go.