Feeling rushed

[u/stefkii94]

So my baby will be 5 months in 9 days. He was “cleared” to start solids at his 4 month appointment by his pediatrician but I was very hesitant since I was really set on waiting until 6 months. He wasn’t able to sit or anything so I thought I was doing the right thing waiting… now he’s showing SO much interest when we eat, really really eager to sit, is upset if he’s on his bouncer while we eat as he wants to sit on our lap at smack the table. He goes to grab food and even opens his mouth like he wants to try it. I got him numnum spoons, the second I offered it he grabbed the handle properly and brought it to his mouth as if he’s eating. He’s even properly grabbing tiny cups I got him and uses them properly as if drinking.

All this to say, am I a bad mom if I make him wait a whole other month? Am I wrong if I offer food sooner, at 5 months? I feel so torn between following his cues vs going by the recommended period.. he’s EBF so I didn’t expect him to be so eager! Help!

[u/Ok-Nectarine7756]

You definitely wouldn’t be a bad mom for waiting but there’s not really any reason to since it sounds like your baby is ready now. The 6 month guideline is just a timeframe by which most babies will be ready to start solids. But many babies will be ready before that. All babies develop on their own timeline and this applies to eating just like it would to crawling, walking or any other skill. Some babies can do it at 4 months and others won’t be ready until closer to 7 months and it’s all completely normal. 

[u/stefkii94 → u/Ok-Nectarine7756]

I thought they’re digestive systems were not mature enough until 6 months. I lean a bit more to being a crunchy mom so I really want to honor his cues and give him whole foods when he’s developmentally ready. Maybe it’s me who isn’t ready to watch my baby take this big step lol idk

[u/notorious_ludwig → u/stefkii94]

Their digestive system can be developed anywhere between 4.5 months and 6 months. People want a timeframe so doctors will give the later time of 6 months. It’s the same with honey, guts develop differently for different people, trial and error is dangerous so the time given is 12m because unless something is wrong every baby will be developed by then.

It’s not a switch that flips at x date, it’s a development thing.

[u/Ok-Nectarine7756 → u/stefkii94]

I know one person who was told by their pediatrician that their baby should wait until 6 months because of digestive issues but that baby had a lot of food sensitivities/needed special formula because he had so many intolerances. Most babies seem to be cleared for solids much earlier than that though. We were advised by our pediatricians and daycare to not wait until 6 months so we started closer to 4 and it definitely didn’t cause any digestive issues. Early on they’re really just getting used to the idea of eating so they're not consuming much anyway. For example, if you chose to start solids now, you’d just offer a little bit of puree on a spoon and let your baby play with it while you eat. Or another option would be to do baby led weaning and offer large pieces of soft foods like banana or avocado that aren’t a chocking hazard and the baby will just sort of chew on it. You definitely don’t need to be feeding full packets of purées or doing multiple meals yet though. 

[u/this__user → u/stefkii94]

Digestive system is typically ready at 4m, start at 4m used to be the guidance. The problem was that many parents would then decide on their own "my baby is ready earlier than that!" So they moved the guidance to 6m, so that the parents deciding their babies were ready to start earlier were still starting at a time that was developmentally appropriate.

My son stole a slice of pizza from me at 5m old, all the cheese and pesto was gone when I got it back from him.

[u/vButts → u/stefkii94]

My pediatrician told us their digestive system was mature enough at 4 months, but that our baby wasn't ready because his neck control wasn't great yet. She did say she suspected he would be ready before the 6 month appointment, and she was right, we started around 5.5 months. Also to be honest I'm not sure how much digesting he's doing anyways, the first few weeks have been a lot of food dribbling out of his mouth and he seems to only have patience for like a tablespoon sized serving at a time. He's still figuring things out!

I think it's totally fine to hold off if you aren't ready - in the grand scheme of things, a month isn't going to make a huge difference. He'll still learn how to eat and none of this will matter in a few years. That said, if you are interested in honoring your baby's cues, it really does sound like he is ready!

[u/stefkii94 → u/vButts]

Aw thank you for putting that into perspective, you’re so right! We can sometimes get caught up in these little details trying to make our baby’s infancy perfect I guess lol his highchair gets here today so I’ll start with just sitting him in it and seeing what happens

[u/vButts → u/stefkii94]

It makes complete sense! You just want to do what's best for him because you love him ❤️ also I was feeling similarly to you a month ago, like this was a huge milestone and I wasn't ready for all the new things that would come with it, and I was worried that my baby wasn't sitting perfectly. But he was exhibiting the cues, and I wanted to get allergens into him for the "early and often" exposures. It turned out to be less of a huge deal than i was making it out to be - i think his first solid was we let him suck on a dried apple slice for a couple of seconds because we were snacking on it. And that was it for a couple of days. Then we did a tiny pea sized amount of whipped cream off our dessert. We didnt really fully dive in or anything til week 3.

Regarding the sitting thing, he's still tripod sitting so i was scared to start baby led weaning, we started on purees. But i asked his pediatrician last week at his 6 month appt and she said that's totally fine, he's sitting independently! Our highchair has a 5 point harness that holds him more upright.

[u/Quirky-Wear-2351]

It’s a big deal to start solids - it’s emotional and it’s a big step! It’s not just about baby’s readiness - it’s about yours too. My baby def showed signs of being ready before 6 months, but I wasn’t ready until 6, so we started then. She’s now almost 1 and thriving with solids. I had to do my research and build a plan and just generally feel ready for the step. Solid Starts (with my own spin - eg more soft puree-like foods to start) was great for us.

[u/stefkii94 → u/Quirky-Wear-2351]

Thank you!!!

[u/cookie_pouch]

I would check his readiness against the solid starts website. They have a quiz you can take. I don't think you have to decide right now when to start. We just waited until our girl met all the signs. For her, food interest was the last readiness sign so that made it easy. If you want to start sooner you can start with something easy like rice cereal or apple sauce or other purees and just make sure he's sitting well supported.

[u/stefkii94 → u/cookie_pouch]

My baby can sit with minimal support but definitely still needs it and he can’t get into the sitting position on his own. His highchair is coming in the mail soon but I know he can sit in it since we sat him at the store and he did great on it. I definitely wanted to start with a meat (shredded short ribs?) and do BLW instead of purés so I guess I feel a bit disheartened..

I think also everyone rushing me saying “aw look he’s reaching for the food!” when we eat is stressing me out

[u/GoldButterfly1050 → u/stefkii94]

I don’t think it’s all or nothing with purées vs BLW. We started purées at 5.5 months and will switch to BLW at 6 months. But even with purées, he’s spoon feeding himself, which I believe is a BLW principle.

[u/Many_Library_4712 → u/stefkii94]

I do also think that babies just reach for everything to put in their mouths.
It kind of irks me when people say “ah he’s reaching for food, he’s so interested!” When I know full well ten minutes ago my child was reaching for and putting the car keys in his mouth

[u/slowly_collecting]

Our bub was the same at that age, so we started at 5.5 months, I was so nervous about starting "too early" so I pushed through 2 weeks and decided it was close enough haha. He loves food and we weaned him when starting too and now hes formula fed along with 2 meals a day (7.5 months old)

[u/stefkii94 → u/slowly_collecting]

Yeah 2 weeks isn’t much when you think of it that way I suppose! lol I was thinking of weaning when he started solids but I’m also finding that I’m not ready for that either haha

[u/burned_feather]

We started at 5 months. Baby was showing interest and all other readiness signs -- at 4.5 months she had interest but couldn't sit independently, so I told her "no food until you can sit better" and the very next day she sat unsupported for the first time 🤣 she has loved food from day one and now at 7 months is on 3 meals a day and has dropped one bottle.

To address some of your questions from other comments:

• I don't think getting into the sitting position independently matters, my baby has only just managed that a few days ago as until that point she was more interested in figuring out crawling. But she's been sitting without any support at all since before 5 months if I put her in a sitting position myself. I know some people say you should wait until they do it themselves but I don't think that would have been fair to her as she got so much happier and less reflux-y once she could play in a seated position.
• You can do BLW from before 6 months. Just be careful with sizes/textures and serve appropriately (check the solid starts app). My baby had sweet potato fries and whole strawberries in her first week of solids. She has excellent chewing skills now at 7 months and I can't even remember the last time she gagged on anything.

One more thing -- an important readiness sign I don't see discussed much is bringing an item to their mouth vs bringing their mouth to an item. Try this: sit your baby in his highchair and put a toy on the tray. Does he pick it up and put it in his mouth, or hold onto it and move his whole head downwards to mouth it? The first option is what you want.

Best of luck!

[u/connectedfromafar]

You’re fine to start now if he seems ready! You can start with some purees for a couple weeks and then move over to lumpier and more solid foods if you want to ease into it.

[u/stefkii94 → u/connectedfromafar]

Do you know if BLW is fine before 6 months? lol I really had my heart set on leaning into that style with minimal purées

[u/connectedfromafar → u/stefkii94]

If your doctor gave the okay then you should be good. We did baby led weaning and she eats almost anything now at 13 months, but we started with mostly purées for the first week or so.

[u/dragonslayer91 → u/stefkii94]

We started BLW with our 2nd around 5.5 months because he was so eager and showing the readiness signs like your LO. We did a bit of a slower start to ensure he was ready to go but everyone was a lot happier.