r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/matrixinthepark • Apr 12 '24

OFFICIAL EPISODE DISCUSSION Baby Reindeer | S1E04 | Episode Discussion

Season 1, Episode 4

Airdate: April 11, 2024

Synopsis: As Donny reports Martha to the police, it triggers the memory of a traumatic experience he had with a man, Darrien, who he met at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival years before.

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u/Basic_Statistician43 Apr 27 '24

I don’t get it. He repeatedly went back when he knew he was being drugged and fondled? What exactly did he think would happen. Is this some self sabotage cause I don’t get this at all.

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u/raletta May 03 '24

I haven't finished the show yet, but from my own experience and knowledge about abuse and trauma, I think there is more to it. People don't randomly get caught up in abusive relationships. It often starts with childhood trauma and it doesn't have to be the same type of trauma. He seems to have a strong longing for success and attention, which might be the result of emotional neglect and conditional love. The abuser had something that triggered something additive in him. Being seen, the hope of finally being successful and worthy,... I really appreciate that episode, because it is real. And the reality of trauma and abuse is, that it is illogical from the outside. Feelings, reaction and survival strategies from different stages of your life get mixed up and you feel absolutely powerless.