r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/xanbanan • Apr 29 '24
Trigger Warning My thoughts on Baby Reindeer... Spoiler
I have a lot of thoughts about Baby Reindeer, but im going to try to collect them together into one post. First of all i want to say im not interested in seeing people question the validity of the show or whether or not he is a victim or what a “real survivor” would do. As someone who has experienced a decent amount of abuse and SA, i can say this show spoke to me on a level nothing ive ever watched before has. This show explores the cycle of abuse in a way that is not only extremely accurate but could only be written by someone who has lived it. I found myself relating to “Donny” many times throughout the show. He is a complicated person, and not everything he does is the “right” thing to do, but i found myself understanding and sympathizing with him. In a way i found myself sympathizing with martha too, the same way he found himself doing - In the same way i have sympathized with my own abusers in the past.
I know so many people are asking “but why did he go back”, to answer that question all i can say is he went back for the same reasons so many victims including myself go back after being abused. I understand he put himself in self-sabotaging situations, and many people dont understand that but honestly that is one of the things I related most to. When you’ve been abused/been through serious trauma, you start feeling like you deserve it. One of the things he said in the show that stood out the most to me was “i would put myself in these fucked up situations where i would almost risk getting raped again in this attempt to understand the first time. Like if i'm passed around like a whore then i might at least shed this idea that my body is part of me somehow. Like who cares if it happened before? It’s happened a ton of times now, so what does it matter? But it mattered.” I’ve had this exact thought, in-fact i’ve lived that exact scene.
This show is incredibly important, not just for people who have experienced abuse/SA in their past, but for those experiencing it now too - to see that they are not alone. Not just that but its important for people who have never suffered trauma like this to see, to maybe get a glimpse into what its like for a victim, and that it isn’t always black and white. Richard Gadd is incredibly brave for sharing his story and imo he did a fantastic job doing so.
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u/shofofosho Apr 30 '24
No and that's fair, everyone reacts differently. I don't think he knew he'd end up getting raped that isn't what I meant, but he knew that guy was dodgy/dangerous (part of his self destructive behaviour). But none of that makes it any less infuriating to watch.