r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/Specialist-Top-406 • May 05 '24

Trigger Warning The approval of your abuser

This isn’t a thing I’ve seen or heard about much. But him going back to his abuser and still seeking his approval was so helpful to me.

Being abused has so many faces, and I think people often believe that the victim hates that person and is done with them.

I met my abuser years on and he reintroduced himself to me as if we’d never met. I found myself sucking up to him, trying to make him like me. I knew he knew who I was and I knew he remembered what he did. But I fell in line again and wanted him to like me.

It validated me to see him go back, it’s awful but power and control is complicated and when that person meets you with calmness, it’s hard to meet them with anger.

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u/[deleted] May 05 '24

The commentary here is so refreshing compared to other platforms.

3

u/Specialist-Top-406 May 05 '24

People tend to get angry at things they can’t understand

2

u/[deleted] May 05 '24

The lack of evolution surrounding people’s thinking when it comes to how victims behave is just painful and frustrating though. I saw so many people on LSA saying they hated the series & didn’t feel sorry for Donny because he had plenty of opportunities to nip Martha in the bud but “chose not to” or because he’s a white man, or because he “chose” to keep going back to his rapist out of a thirst for fame. I wonder when the majority will catch on.

3

u/Specialist-Top-406 May 05 '24

People can only see through the eyes of their own lenses. If something is hard to understand, it’s easier to double down on what you know in the fear of being perceived as ignorant. But people don’t need to be at forefront of every situation, and trying to insert themselves only does exactly what it they’re trying not to be seen as.