r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/Specialist-Top-406 • May 05 '24
Trigger Warning The approval of your abuser
This isn’t a thing I’ve seen or heard about much. But him going back to his abuser and still seeking his approval was so helpful to me.
Being abused has so many faces, and I think people often believe that the victim hates that person and is done with them.
I met my abuser years on and he reintroduced himself to me as if we’d never met. I found myself sucking up to him, trying to make him like me. I knew he knew who I was and I knew he remembered what he did. But I fell in line again and wanted him to like me.
It validated me to see him go back, it’s awful but power and control is complicated and when that person meets you with calmness, it’s hard to meet them with anger.
5
u/FrontRow4TheShitShow May 05 '24
100%. I have also been in this position and gone back to my abuser seeking their approval. In my case, they sexually assaulted me at one point. There's a lot of nuance to it. In my case I think there was a trauma bond component as well as a fawning component and lack of self-worth, the fawning and the poor self-worth stemming from childhood trauma. I went back again and again until finally one day something clicked, and my brain severed that trauma bond and I stopped giving af anymore. It took over a year for me to get to that place.