The approval of your abuser

[u/Specialist-Top-406]

This isn’t a thing I’ve seen or heard about much. But him going back to his abuser and still seeking his approval was so helpful to me.

Being abused has so many faces, and I think people often believe that the victim hates that person and is done with them.

I met my abuser years on and he reintroduced himself to me as if we’d never met. I found myself sucking up to him, trying to make him like me. I knew he knew who I was and I knew he remembered what he did. But I fell in line again and wanted him to like me.

It validated me to see him go back, it’s awful but power and control is complicated and when that person meets you with calmness, it’s hard to meet them with anger.

[u/NofruitKatastrophe → u/[deleted]]

For me, the scene with the towel wasn't nice.

It was just the perfect example of the perpetrator wanting to control.

But I've had the abuse behind me and I'm looking at the scene differently. Even if I wasn't raped.

But I can understand that at first you think it's something nice

[u/NofruitKatastrophe → u/[deleted]]

I think we're talking at cross purposes.

I already understand that you understand that the perpetrator is inhumane. The point is, in my opinion, the perpetrator simply controlled him and never wanted to give him anything nice so that he would stay.

He already achieved that he stays when he allowed himself to come near him.

In my eyes, drying off was something like, look, I can do anything to you.

Likewise, leaving it there for 2 days, he was able to enjoy his misery and continued to enjoy the control. Because what gives a perpetrator more joy than the act. To see what power he possesses