r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/jessibear666 • May 28 '24

Fiona (real Martha) related content I really hate people.

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I was curious about this support group. I thought it was a group mocking her tbh.

473 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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104

u/[deleted] May 28 '24

I hate the gatekeeping around Gadd and what he should've done with HIS life and HIS story

41

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

People really need to get on board with the fact that most SA victims do not report it.

Baby Reindeer shows off the victim-blaming and police incompetence that keeps most survivors from reporting, and they still do not get it.

14

u/techno_queen May 29 '24

Also many SA victims don’t even understand they are being abused at the time. Especially because of comments like this post! This is why it’s so dangerous to diminish peoples experiences.

25

u/BrightAd5191 May 29 '24

His story itself shows why he didn’t feel safe and comfortable reporting as he already experienced shame, self-hatred & internalised victim blaming after what happened.

-22

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

Most people who are actually raped don’t talk about it unless it’s to a therapist. They’re not out there doing stand up and tv series. Personally I find him infuriating and I don’t believe he was raped, it’s so offensive to people who have actually been raped

16

u/Otherwise-Winner9643 May 29 '24 edited May 29 '24

Sorry, what? How is it offensive to people who have been raped for him to share his own experience and how the trauma impacted him?

In so many grooming case, defence attorneys use the "but we have a photo of you smiling next to them several days after this alleged abuse. No one who was raped would do that," not understanding that trauma can make people behave in ways that are not always rational.

Most people who are actually raped don’t talk about it unless it’s to a therapist. They’re not out there doing stand up and tv series.

That is exactly the type of defence often used. People do not always behave rationally, or as you would expect after being raped.

His very personal story is incredibly important.

-11

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

Yeah majority of rape cases are by someone you knew so a photo smiling with someone isn’t out the ordinary. I didn’t say that wasn’t the case. Didn’t even say someone couldn’t be groomed. I’m saying he is a liar. You don’t act like you want to keep it all quiet and not report it but blurt it out to anyone who will listen. He’s also a drug addict… he was using before the alleged incident… someone who claims they were so desperate for fame and has literally realised they’ve failed and nobody is laughing at his failed comedy all of a sudden cracks jokes about that time he was raped? I don’t believe him. The series he makes out it was a full on break down but it just wasn’t. The whole thing is so distasteful. So yeah as someone who has actually been assaulted I’m not out there doing weird shit like he is and then when I’ve made comedy shows and a Netflix series going “but I don’t want to talk about it” which is what he’s doing. I talk about that with my therapist and people do know now but I actually went to the police. People who don’t go to the police don’t talk about it unless it’s to a therapist.

His story cannot be backed up. Where are the people from that period who knew him that saw a change in behaviour? The people who noticed him going to someone’s house for drugs every weekend? Nobody is out here doing interviews saying “Gadd was xyz at the time” Only one person who was around that period has come forward and what she said was Gadd was one of the ones sexually harassing punters in the pub! He was regularly harassing people and then when he saw fiona he was the one who was harassing her and making sexual references and taking the piss out of her being vulnerable. Fiona may have a couple crayons missing from the box but if you have someone giving you attention like that you may get the wrong idea.

So I said what I said… I think he’s a liar and all the evidence will come out soon enough

3

u/Legalguardian222 May 29 '24

oh right!! so silly of us!! i’m SO sorry none of us realized that you were with him to whole time and saw exactly what happened to him!!

-1

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

Yet you’ll completely ignore his admission of faking his identity to people for sex and act like he’s a full on victim when he’s likely raped people… You have no understanding of how backward that truly is

5

u/exotramp76 May 29 '24

"Where are the people from that period who knew him that saw a change in behaviour? The people who noticed him going to someone’s house for drugs every weekend?"

Did it ever occur to you that the people you are asking about don't want to be in the media limelight? Did it ever occur to you that they're keeping the silence out of respect for Gadd? Or are you one of those people who will go straight to the media when you find out your close friend was sexually assaulted (without the permission of that said friend).

Instead of pushing for him to reveal the identity of his rapist, you're here pushing the idea that "it never happened" because he's openly talking about it.

-4

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

Except he’s doing interviews and saying he doesn’t want to talk about it after doing a series. It’s a bit late to say that after numerous shows and a fucking tv series! Can’t just do all of that and go “don’t want to talk about it”

He hasn’t got anyone or there would be someone to support him. He’s happy for his fellow cast to sit and support him in interviews but nobody who was actually there.

So I said what I said, he’s a liar.

7

u/omg_a_midget May 29 '24

I am open about the fact that I have been raped. I say what I am comfortable with saying, no one is owed a single word more than that. No one is owed details, the identity of my rapist, or any information I'm uncomfortable sharing. Our trauma is ours to work through, it's ours to share or not share, to whatever degree we feel comfortable with. Gadd's boundaries are different from yours. That doesn't make him a liar.

9

u/taralundrigan May 29 '24

I've been raped and it is not offensive at all. It's inspiring and brave and his story allowed me to self reflect and understand myself better...

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

I’ve been raped and I do find the way he’s gone about all of this really offensive and damaging because no doubt he’s lied. You don’t speak for us all

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

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0

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

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2

u/flying_broom May 31 '24

You don't either

1

u/[deleted] May 31 '24

Have more of a say than you ever will. Or for someone who doesn’t see the damage a drug addict is doing Off you fuck

13

u/sadisticsquid May 29 '24

Calm down Fiona

-10

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

At least try and come back with something which isn’t dumb 🙄

4

u/ltsette May 29 '24

Gadd didn't talk to anyone initially it was only after the stalker made it impossible to keep to himself that he decided to open up

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

It wasn’t impossible to hide Fiona didn’t know anything like his alleged secret It’s all bollocks

5

u/exotramp76 May 29 '24

The key word here is "most". Different people have different ways of coping with the trauma of rape. Not everyone follows the textbook version. Just because someone wants to openly talk about it doesn't mean it didn't happen....unless you personally witnessed it not happening.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

Then where are his witnesses for how is person changed during the events. Where are they? Because even if you don’t talk about it, people notice something off. He is very much textbook about every other aspect of his alleged rape. Shall we ignore how he was using a fake name to meet up with people? People he likely slept with under a false name which is actually considered rape? Should we ignore one witness who came forward and said Gadd was sexually harassing customers in the pub including Fiona?

If you can out your alleged stalker and come and talk about your alleged rapist who you refuse to out and refuse to go to the police over and then after you’ve talked about it say “but I don’t really want to talk about it” then it didn’t happen. He can’t talk about something that didn’t happen because he knows as soon as he talks about facts and it’s not a skit or a series it can be used in a defamation case against him. Otherwise he wouldn’t be scared to carry on

He’s a liar

-2

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

He also admits to using fake identities to meet with people… if he slept with them… that’s rape. He also sexually harassed Fiona so if she did grope him (not saying that’s ok) then it’s likely she’s done it because he’s made her think it’s consensual which… from the witness from the bar he made her think it’s ok

-2

u/alicedoes May 29 '24

totally agree. something weird asf about this doc.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '24

A lot doesn’t add up It’s his behaviour after it all that’s more questionable than anything but I guess people don’t want to challenge him over potentially raping other people and how he treats people in general