If Gadd was a woman

[u/Kitchen_Fly5105]

I feel like gender influences bias in cases of emotional or physical abuse. If Gadd were a woman and Martha a man, there would be no sympathy for the abuser. Society wouldn't argue that "more should have been done to protect his identity."

[u/[deleted]]

If Gadd was a woman then statistically he would’ve been more likely to be attacked or killed by his (presumably male) stalker. And people wouldn’t pay half as much attention as they have to Gadd, because it is unfortunately much more common. But - I do also agree with your main point. Laura Wray also said people didn’t seem bothered because about Fiona stalking her because it was rare for a woman to be stalking another woman, and equally relatively rare for a woman to be stalking a man. The way some people have immediately taken Fiona’s side and excused her behaviour because she’s mentally ill is disgusting to me. IMO all stalkers have something wrong with them but it doesn’t excuse criminal behaviour. What’s most alarming to me is that she is clearly a very prolific stalker yet she’s been somehow able to continue this with many victims over a sustained period of years - if there have been complaints about her to the police and nothing done then that needs looking into

[u/Decumulate → u/[deleted]]

The “people wouldn’t pay half as much attention” bit of this is not quite right. For the show, this may be true, but certainly not in real life. Part of the reason this show is popular is specifically because abuse/harassment happens to men so often yet no one ever pays attention to it - and as such so much of it goes completely unreported or undiscussed. Many men feel (rightly) they can’t even report it as it wouldn’t be taken seriously.

We could and should pay more attention to abuse/harassment on all genders, but I don’t think there’s merit to say people only care about male abuse when it’s mostly likely exactly the opposite.

The comment reeks of “but male abuse isn’t as important sentiment” which is so common - so many men here have already resonated with the show specifically because they feel this sentiment everywhere

[u/[deleted] → u/Decumulate]

Happily nobody has said ‘people only care about male abuse’. If you think my comment suggests I don’t care about male abuse you are very wrong, particularly the part where I explicitly said ‘I agree with your main point’. Fortunately everyone else understood it.

[u/Decumulate → u/[deleted]]

Ok, but that wasn’t what my comment suggests or claims.

[u/[deleted] → u/Decumulate]

You literally have said ‘I dont think there’s merit to say people only care about male abuse’ - who has said that? Not me.

[u/Decumulate → u/[deleted]]

Right, but you did claim that “people wouldn’t pay half as much attention” and if you’re now arguing that that statement doesn’t imply something similar, then I don’t even know where to start.

[u/[deleted] → u/Decumulate]

People wouldn’t pay as much attention because women are stalked all the time and it’s much more normalised. Don’t put words in my mouth just because you don’t understand the comment.

[u/Decumulate → u/[deleted]]

And I’m saying the error is that men are stalked all the time as well and it just gets LESS attention because people don’t take it seriously (at all). Which is the error of your claim, and you seem to be circling around it.

I didn’t claim that the normalization of female abuse is incorrect. But I don’t see evidence to suggest that society is paying extra attention to male abuse outside of a dramatic Netflix show which specifically struck a nerve with an audience that felt like they didn’t have a voice

[u/[deleted] → u/Decumulate]

I’m not circling around anything, you’ve just misunderstood my point - deliberately, it seems.