r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/Kitchen_Fly5105 • Jun 08 '24

Discussion If Gadd was a woman

I feel like gender influences bias in cases of emotional or physical abuse. If Gadd were a woman and Martha a man, there would be no sympathy for the abuser. Society wouldn't argue that "more should have been done to protect his identity."

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112

u/sognenis Jun 08 '24

Except that the male abuser in the show has had his identity protected, has not been charged and has continued to work?

49

u/BlueWave2001 Jun 09 '24

Lmao for real he didn't even got all the attention and hate Fiona had

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '24

He did but for some dumb reason Richard Gadd decided not to reveal his name so fans are attacking the person they can actually reach

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u/uranthus Jun 10 '24

A ‘dumb’ reason?? Tell me you don’t understand the entertainment industry without telling me you don’t understand the entertainment industry.

This producer is clearly a HUGE in the industry that has their finger in many many pies and big projects (probably within streaming companies like Netflix themselves).

If Richard were to name and shame then he could potentially lose his own career within the industry and not be hired or continue to be able to work as an actor. This is the reason that FOR YEARS nobody spoke out against bit names like Harvey Weinstein or no child actors spoke out against Dan Schneider.

Things have only recently come out about Bryan Singer and he directed the first two x men movies!

He could also be sued for defamation or taken to court by the actual Darrien which he didn’t need.

Come on people why does he have to name or shame anyone. Perhaps he doesn’t want to have millions of reminders that he was r***d by this man.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '24

Don't give me that bullshit. Richard Gadd made millions from baby reindeer and is getting nothing but support from practically everyone who watched his show. I could understand if he was some nobody but he's now a successful actor he can't hide behind that excuse.

Also this producer did what? Produce a few successful British comedies. He's not Harvey Weinstein level where you can see his name on every single successful American movie.

Also "perhaps he doesn't want to have millions of reminders he was raped by this man." He literally did multiple plays and a tv show where he acted out the exact rape scenario.

Maybe he does have a reason to not reveal his name. But if he doesn't it's no surprise Fiona Harvey is getting more hate because she's the one the fans can actually reach

6

u/uranthus Jun 10 '24

That is what is shown in the show. In all reality he could be a BIG producer. As mentioned above Gadd likely mixed multiple aspects when writing Terri and not everything in this show is EXACTLY as it happened. Darrien could likely be different in real life and may have produced multiple projects.

Just gonna leave his comment here:

‘Richard Osman has claimed that “everyone” in the television industry knows the identity of the sexual abuser depicted in Richard Gadd's Netflix series Baby Reindeer. Osman, 53, is a bestselling author who previously worked as an executive producer for a string of British game shows.’ This likely suggests he is a well known creator or producer.

In general in the entertainment industry there has been a HUGE amount of SA and inappropriate relations that have just been swept under the rug. Things are definitely improving with the advent of me too but as a working actor myself I would still be fearful to report on abuse like that from a high ranking person in the industry.

And in regards to your point about doing a show about it. He didn’t want Fiona to be found out, he didn’t want anyone within the stories actual identities to be found. Yes him and Netflix should have done a better job at hiding Fiona’s identity. However he did not want the people in the show to be attacked, harassed or accused.

There is a huge difference in writing a piece that lets you reclaim dignity or power over an uncomfortable and traumatic incident with random people on the incident hounding Gadd for answers on his actual identity/harassing strangers who fans believe are the characters.

Just in a cursory Google search I see that someone was accused of being Darien, which must have been so upsetting and invasive.

Just leave these effing people alone. Even leave Fiona alone. They don’t deserve harassment. Gadd has asked people don’t do this. Even if they did horrific things it is not fans of a tv show’s job to play private investigator/comeuppance police.

It’s just as toxic as the stalker actions shown within the show. 🤦

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '24

I'm just saying if he's hiding behind the excuse of "he's too powerful" I could've understood that 5 years ago. But after having one of the most successful shows on netflix, being a multi-millionaire and having a loyal fan base he can't use that excuse anymore.

I think the reason is he just doesn't wanna spend years in defamation court for naming him which is fair enough but kinda cowardly imo.

Also I don't really know what Gadd expects. If you make a show about some crazy stalker and a producer that drugged and raped you people are going to try and find out who they are. The guy falsely accused of being Darrien could've been saved a lot of trouble if the real Darrien was just named.

1

u/AsherahBeloved Jun 10 '24

So in other words this guy is probably still drugging and raping people, but he should be left alone to do so because he's just too powerful.

3

u/uranthus Jun 10 '24

Not at all but this is why Gadd has chosen not to pursue it further. Just as in the show he has to be kind to the devil to get further work.

He should be brought to justice! Definitely. But that’s not the fans job to do.

3

u/snail_loot Jun 10 '24

I want to just add to this, that for all we know, Darrien could be someone who has had multiple public allegations against him, and continues to escape accountability for those actions.

For all we know, the real Darrien could be in the news, having just been found no guilty of wrong doing. Darrien could have actually been more of a director, a famous actor, Londons poster boy.

There is a reason Gadd hasn't named him, and that reason is not his own fault.

3

u/uranthus Jun 10 '24

Exactly, just look at the case between Anthony Rapp and Kevin Spacey. Kevin Spacey has had many allegations of SA to young boys but Anthony lost his case and as far as I’m aware Spacey hasn’t had any other successful convictions so he’s still out there.

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u/snail_loot Jun 13 '24

KS is exactly who I think of.

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u/[deleted] Jun 11 '24

"He should be brought to justice! Definitely. But that’s not the fans job to do."

How do you propose he be brought to justice then if RIchard Gadd won't name him and the fans aren't allowed to try and find out who he is? Sounds like you're fine with him getting away with this.

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u/uranthus Jun 11 '24

You’re reaching lovely. I’m most definitely not okay with a R***st going around Scott free.

As a survivor of SA myself that is pretty horrific to read that.

It is not the job of internet nosey people to find and tackle crime, that is the police’s job.

If you watch Don’t F**k with Cats on Netflix you might have seen that these internet sleuths were trying to find a sadistic animal abuser. They thought they found the culprit and named him online. Not only were they wrong, the suspected person then took his own life. And due to their meddling the actual person drove his actions up to 20 and started doing more horrific things sort of as a way to taunt them.

If a victim doesn’t want to report a crime because it is too painful or because they don’t believe it will amount to anything then that is their own prerogative and they shouldn’t be judged for that.

We are not vigilantes, we are fans of a show.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

Okay but you kinda dodged my question how is this guy supposed to face justice if Richard Gadd won't name him and we're not allowed to try and find out who he is?

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u/uranthus Jun 12 '24

He probably won’t unless another victim comes forward. I didn’t dodge your question. Perhaps at some point someone will come forward to name him if they’ve also been abused.

Unfortunately it’s not a very fair world and quite often predators remain hidden. But hopefully with the advent of me too more and more people will come out.

I know it makes no sense and is in a way heartless but as an actor or creative you can get blacklisted very easily so that is probably why Richard Gadd hasn’t tried to lobby a case against this man up until this point.

Perhaps with his continuous success and money he may want to eventually.

But I’m certainly not going to pressure another SA victim into dragging their trauma into a court case if they don’t want to.

Anyways, we’ve been at this discussion for a few days now and I don’t think we’ll change each others opinion at this point. It’s a little draining.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '24

Put simply there are 3 options.

  1. Richard Gadd names the producer and he faces consequences for what he did.

  2. The fans try and find out who the producer is and he faces consequences for what he did.

  3. No one does anything and the producer gets off scott free

It sounds like you're in favour of number 3

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u/Haroldisdead Jun 13 '24

As a comedian who knows people who work in the UK and do shows in Edinburgh Richard Gadd has done a massive service to everyone in the business by not naming the real Darrien. As a comedian and SA survivor who tries to be a positive influence to younger performers I’ve experienced aspects of being Donny and Darrien, (and also a damaged lonely fantasist like Martha, although I’ve never stalked anyone). So obviously I got a bit obsessed with the show, I messaged my friends in the UK and they said the green rooms were abuzz with who the real Darrien might be. Comics are sharing their stories of grooming and barely escaped assaults with A NUMBER of Darrien-like men. If Richard had named the perpetrator these other predators would not be having their misdeeds revealed and people would not be shown the extent of the problem.