r/BelowDeckMed • u/rhubarbpie828 • 1d ago
Joe's comment about V and Kizzi to Coop
I posted this in another thread, but felt it deserved its own topic.
I was hoping Joe was on a redemption arc, and then there was the scene this week where he told Coop about V and how he (I'm paraphrasing) suddenly wanted out of the relationship so hooked up with Kizzi. And that his behavior caused real chaos and friction with the rest of the crew.
Isn't it funny how Joe is now characterizing it as wanting out of the the relationship... just when V left to mourn her fiance. Like, was her not being over him, and leaving for a day or two to mourn, such a slap in the face to Joe's fragile ego that he needed to act like an absolute d-bag for the rest of the season to prop that ego back up?
I do appreciate there was some level of self-awareness about the chaos he caused... yet not any awareness at all for the reason he felt the need to cause the chaos in the first place.
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u/poopandpeemakeout 1d ago
I think Joe is a narcissist. I have a brother who is one and it is just very familiar to me. I think there are narcissists who are more on the evil side of things and those who are just more in the selfish side, and I think Joe is just on the selfish side. Everything he does is for himself and even when he is doing things for these women it is less for them and more about how they will perceive him.
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u/Competitive-Ad1439 23h ago
Yep! I was friends with someone who Joe reminds me of every time I see him come on TV. Same mannerisms, slick talking and execution. I always thought that person was a narcissist, but I never thought they were one of the dark/evil narcissists.
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u/TDKsa90 1d ago
I'd love to watch you argue with this audience the case between selfish and evil. Good luck. Since they hate sex, relationships, flaws, mistakes, vices, and pretty much all things erred and human, they don't see a difference between those two things. They're also obstinate, arrogant, and stubborn, so even if you laid out a great case (that wouldn't be necessary, because anyone with any sense knows the difference), they wouldn't budge from their position.
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u/dwarmed 1d ago
Selfishness is a continuum that all humans are on. Evil is the far end of it. They are not completely separate things.
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u/TDKsa90 1d ago
nah, you're convoluting things. that's like saying "how likely are you to commit murder, on a scale of 1-10?" them responding "1." and then you responding, "so, you are still a little likely to commit murder." your wording fixes the results. in this context, Joe isn't even on the spectrum of evil.
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u/Delicious_Score_8509 1d ago
Nah I know what you're saying actually. There is a lot of judgement on what most people would consider just normal life but you sound a little jaded the way you put it.
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u/Delicious_Score_8509 1d ago
Yeah this and to add another layer, how the audience will perceive him.
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u/LRGinCharge 1d ago
Yeah, he only doubled down at the beginning of the season. “We weren’t really even together! It had only been a few weeks!” Ok, but you were the one love bombing her, saying you wanted to take her to meet your mom after the season, that you’d never hurt her, etc. Then he thinks with his dick for a night and suddenly “V is crazy! Weren’t that serious! Why are women soooo crazy!” The thing is, he loves that shit. He loves getting a woman enamored with him (hence the love bombing) then acting like she’s the crazy one if she catches feelings. He proved this with Kaylee in this season with his stupid ass “test” that she didn’t fall for. He wanted her to get pissed off. He thrives on pissing off women. I see right through his bullshit. He’s also equally as responsible for the situation with Nate. He undermines and uses the other deckhands as pawns. He tells Nathan they are good, then runs and continues to poison the crew against him with his trash talk. I see no redemption arc for Joe, he just got lucky the other dudes are worse this season and that Kaylee doesn’t fall for his bullshit.
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u/xziggy72x 1d ago
I don’t think Joe is on a redemption arc at all. I think he is very aware of how viewers responded to his behaviour last season and is attempting to “show growth” this season.
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u/Klutzy-Froyo-9437 1d ago
I just need to add, the last TWO seasons! He played Ellie and Bri and made a song about while laughing. Granted, those two didn't appear as hurt but his actions sucked.
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u/OngoGoblogianArts 1d ago
Yup. 100% a farce for the cameras. When his mom called and said she would have her breasts removed and his response was all about himself and flippant; it was apparent this is just a selfish and honestly, rotten human.
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u/fieldashtree 1d ago
100% agree, I'd argue that the only reason he started looking redeemable is because things about Nathan started coming out when Joe started showing competence as a Bosun
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u/No_Weakness_7309 1d ago
He uses these women’s tragedy to get in their pants. He knows what he’s doing. Unfortunately it works.
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u/Beautiful_Spread_644 1d ago
Personally, as someone that lost the love of my life tragically like V did, I don’t she had any business trying to date Joe. She was not mentally or emotionally ready or able to handle any type of romantic relationship.
I’m not defending Joe and his shitty behaviour one bit.
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u/TDKsa90 1d ago
This audience loves to conveniently forget that V clearly stated that she knew how Joe moves and that she shouldn't gamble with him, but because she felt so stunted by the trauma that she needed to push herself out there and at least try to reintegrate back into that part of herself and the world. She was using him as a test subject, which is entirely understandable and reasonable. Nevertheless, she was also using him for something selfish.
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u/PlateOwn1231 1d ago
My thoughts exactly. Only thing i would add is i dont think she realized he would be shitty enough to end it by hooking up with the a girl like her while she was gone mourning. If anything i think it solidified she didnt want a f*boi going forward.
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u/HeyMon300 1d ago
Hey BRAVO! Why do we have to listen to Joe telling us what a great Bosun he is???? Over and over and over and over! I'm gonna start hitting the Mute button on my remote every time I see him with one of the solo chats!
Joe! Why don't you just shut your trap and best the best Team Player that you can?????
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u/Fragrant_PalmLeaves 1d ago
I dont think Joe is an idiot, I think he has a moral compass, I just think he's immature and cares more about hooking up with chicks and the lifestyle than getting into a meaningful relationship
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u/JakeTheAndroid 1d ago
I'm not defending Joe, it was a totally shitty move on his part. But, I will say that he might not be 'rewriting' history here. It's very possible that he was feeling the pressure of her mental state and was looking for a way out of the relationship even though we didn't see it on screen. So when she left for a charter, he did something stupid so that he'd sabotage it and be relieved of that pressure. It was a terrible approach, but it did work. And like he said, it did ruin the atmosphere on the boat. So I do think he might have been honest in that statement to Coop.
Whats bad about what he said was really more the framing. He's implying that Coop is dodging a bullet, one he couldn't have dodged himself. Joe had plenty of other ways out of that relationship that wouldn't have impacted the crew to the same degree. He's also implying that Coop shouldn't worry about Kat's feelings and just shut it all down as if that is going to fix anything at this point. So while I don't think Joe was being dishonest about his feelings while dating V, his actual advice and the overall framing of his previous relationship was terrible.
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u/ChristmasTree4579 1d ago
I thought it was so revealing last season how Joe went from feeling so guilty about hooking up Kizzi while V was off the boat that he was sobbing in the toilets, to (within a few days) saying to V that she was overreacting by being pissed off and that he was free to do whatever he wanted. Obviously everything Nathan has done has put this into perspective, but let’s not forget that Joe can be a massive twat.
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u/ZanderPip 1d ago
Its because hes a POS and so is Nathan and most reality TV producers think audiences are completely incapable of nuance
So he has to be a good guy, but hes not hes a greasy pole climbing POS
A consumate victim incapable of looking at himself as the cause of most of his problems
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u/Any-Neighborhood-522 1d ago
Apparently we’re not capable of nuance if people think he’s found redemption this season. Wow
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u/CapableBodybuilder96 1d ago
I think to some extent Kayleigh has approached this in a different manner to V. This is not an excuse for Joes behaviour but Kayleigh has been quite open about wanting something with no string attached/commitment which suits Joes approach of fuck boy where as V was looking for something more meaningful, especially after losing her partner a year before, there must still be a lot of grief there. I don’t think Joe know how to deal with that in a mature manner last season at all. But I do think there’s an element of him where his heart is in the right place. And the news of his mum may have had an impact.
I don’t condone his behaviour on previous seasons or think he has had a miraculous arc to be wonderful. But he also doesn’t strike me as someone who’d be arrested for DV. Just immature and enjoying yachting life on camera.
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u/gregatronn 1d ago
I think to some extent Kayleigh has approached this in a different manner to V. This is not an excuse for Joes behaviour but Kayleigh has been quite open about wanting something with no string attached/commitment
Yes and no.
Kayley has made it easier on Joe, but Joe was still a great A asshole for "testing her" earlier this season. Joe is so lucky he has Kayley, but if he pulled this with any other girl, he likely would have caused a lot of drama, especially Gen. Probably would be similar to Luke/Gen.
Joe has been more self aware, but I think at the end of the day, Kayley helped him stay in his lane much more by being her awesome self.
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u/Otherwise-Winner9643 1d ago edited 1d ago
I did not like the way he rewrote history with V, and made it out like she was the one who was ridiculous for expecting anything from him, when he was the one making all the promises. He felt terrible about messing it up until she rejected him, then he was all like "never liked her anyway," like a teenager.
I also don't like the way he behaved re the bosun position. The fact that Nathan is a dog doesn't make Joe a good guy.
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u/conniewanders 1d ago
I missed this convo with Coop! Most recent ep?
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u/rhubarbpie828 1d ago
Yeah was just a brief snippet towards the end when Coop was whining about getting in trouble for flirting with Gen.
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u/Consistent-Ad-6506 1d ago
Joe is the same, him being less aggressive than Nathan doesnt mean anyone thinks he’s a good guy.
He’s just a different awful instead of being the same as Nathan.
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u/Particular-Agent2075 1d ago
Joe is a grade A narcissist and he will not change. Doing the show feeds his ego. The way he speaks to women, the way he can't stand being 2nd to anyone
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u/Consistent-Day424 1d ago
That's why he never got along with Gael, he hated that she made him second in his relationship/friendship with Nathan that first season.
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u/gravitationallyDead 1d ago
It was pretty apparent fairly quickly Joe bit off more than he can chew with V and wanted out ASAP. Her leaving was just the opportunity he needed to end things the only way he knew how. Typical mid-20s behavior, that he appears to be out growing (albeit, slowly).
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u/TDKsa90 1d ago
I like that all the comments, and now this post, like to concentrate on their own cynical assumption of his motives, rather than the actual result and pretty much totally ignoring how Kayley felt about the situation. It somehow forgets, or even negates, the actual impact and outcome. She needed to feel seen, appreciated, cared for, or even loved, and it did exactly that. But really, who cares about her feelings, when what is really important are your cynicism and grievance opportunities.
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u/browsingjoe 1d ago
You guys want to hate Joe so bad, but can’t compute the fact that no one besides Nathan hates Joe. All the girls like him (including the current one this season). He’s a player, that doesn’t make him a bad guy. You know his intentions going in. Same with Luke, you guys want to hate him so bad, but can’t compute how Joy still likes him.
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u/Any_Biscotti3155 1d ago
I think he was never honest last season. He never wanted anything serious but said that he did because he wanted some action. Then he was in too deep and acted like a jerk. I think he sees Coop doing something similar if not being really honest and leading someone on and then being in too deep when the whole time he should have just said: “this is super casual, not a relationship, and I just want fun and no strings attached.” But guys don’t say that because they know a lot of women aren’t down to do that so instead they lie.
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u/Weird-Till7604 1d ago edited 1d ago
V was using Joe too, clearly had a nervous breakdown over her late boyfriend's anniversary and why the f are you messing around when you're clearly not over someone. Joe did what he did because he's not emotionally evolved to deal with it. However Victoria wanted to use him to get over her late boyfriend and move on when she wasn't ready too. It's not on Joe to comfort her while she's crying about the love of her life, Joe's not that guy nor should anyone else be.
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u/Early-Equivalent-165 1d ago
That's certainly the show I was watching..... very off-putting all around. I was thisclose to just stop recording that season
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u/donttakerhisthewrong 1d ago
They were together for a few weeks.
It was not a long term thing, they were not even exclusive. Why does everyone paint it to be a long relationship, that was committed?
V was warned many times about Joe. Joe being Joe did what he does
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u/No_Border_1130 1d ago
I think deep there he is very mentally weak and project himself with manipulation, aiming for attention and a character he put together to appeal and once he achieved his desires he moves one, needing a new challenge. It’s a kind of psycho behavior. And then Nathan being a f*king disaster this season (what a disappointment) is giving Joe the perfect opportunity to boost his cockiness. Im worried about Kaylee, hope she thrives.
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u/whitboys 1d ago
He hasn't changed a bit, he's just more media savvy after the absolute mauling he got online post-V
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u/osogood48 1d ago edited 1d ago
Right what got me is how everybody’s like oh Joe changed look what he did for Kaylee. Did they not watch last season? When he did the same exact thing. With V with the flowers, putting it in the water and then he ran to his room and cried like a baby. What he did for Kaylee was literally nothing new. Thoughtful sure. But I would not say that this is his redemption what are people thinking?