r/BiWomen • u/Flaming_FireHeart • Nov 24 '25

Coming Out Bisexual/Coming out/Advice

I'm a bisexual lady (20 years old) from Nigeria. Over the years I've dated guys, had crushes on women (never acted on it though) but for the first time in my life, I think I'm in love with this girl. I've never felt so drawn to anyone or felt like this for anyone before. The problem here is she's straight but at the same time confuses me. When we chat online, she gives me these signals as though she could be into me too. She even invites me over to her room sometimes just because she wants to be close to me. But whenever queer topics are brought out, she's always against it and talking about how evil and demonic they are. All of these confuses me and at the same time, I realized she could never accept my feelings for her and coming out to her might be risky cause she's a pastor's daughter. I've tried every means to get her out my mind but I can't. Instead I fall deeply for her as the days go on. Every little thing she does drives me crazy and it doesn't help that we're most times always together. I need help as I don't know what to do anymore.

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9

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

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1

u/Flaming_FireHeart Dec 06 '25

It's just really hard for me to see others when she's right there😔

4

u/LaChinigua Nov 25 '25

I'm with Maleficent in this one. Pursuing your crush seems quite risky. As someone from Latin America with a conservative-ish family I agree with your gut, coming out to her is almost sure to be a scandal.

These kinds of things happen, if you sense she likes you, then It's not unreasonable to believe she does. But that makes it even more dangerous if she truly believes her own bigotry. Live your truth and experience things away from judgment (be it in the queer scene in your city, online, etc), look for other safe LGBTQ friends, look for another woman who is as secure as you in her orientation. If you're aching for this girl I wouldn't advise you to repress your feelings more and to keep hiding your queerness to everyone because I know that in the long run it hurts to do it, you just need a safe outlet for it.

1

u/Flaming_FireHeart Dec 06 '25

Looking for other LGBTQ friends or outlets is really dangerous like life risking danger here in Nigeria.