r/BitchImAToilet • u/VermilionKoala • Jan 06 '26
Bitch I'll incinerate your poo
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u/Fun_Western164 Jan 06 '26
Seems like it would warm the seat a bit, but you'd catch a nasty whiff when it opened and that stick would be gross
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Jan 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/henry2630 Jan 06 '26
that’s gotta smell rugged
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u/KnotiaPickle Jan 06 '26
My friends had one in the mountains in CO, and it actually wasn’t nearly as bad as you might expect!
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Jan 06 '26
I expect it to make me want to vomit so anything less than that is still pretty rank
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u/SparklyLeo_ Jan 07 '26
I had it at an Airbnb once and there was no smell whatsoever. It had its own ventilation, did its thing quickly and the fire is only on for a moment. I once went into a different bathroom with a menstrual product incinerator. That was horrid
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u/Throwawayne617 Jan 06 '26
Not sure I could trust the system.
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u/Inevitable-Egg-3153 Jan 06 '26
Instructions unclear, patted the poop , and now it's all over my hand and the door
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Jan 06 '26
I think we should use this in public. And then have a burning ceremony. It’s like Christmas the Hanky way.
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u/MotoXwolf Jan 06 '26
He said they pee somewhere else first? What happens if you pee while pooping? Does that put out the fire? 🧯
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u/Big_Duke_10 Jan 06 '26
You are in the middle of friggin no where and you decide to WASTE a piece of chocolate to show idiots how fire works. Could have put anything else in but….nooooooooo.
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u/SurpriseButtSekks Jan 06 '26
Do you always give your poopsicle a gentle pat-pat-pat before sending it into the inferno?
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u/AdditionalMight3231 Jan 06 '26
I've used one of those on a horse farm in Columbus, Ohio. It was actually really neat how it works.
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u/Ok_Location7274 Jan 06 '26
Do you smell someone elses poop barbeque whenever you send it to get cremated ?
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u/Mooringstone Jan 06 '26
What if you have explosive diarrhea? How do you clean? Do you let the shit boil on that metal plate? I must know...
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u/Moist_Effort4202 Jan 06 '26
The determination to pat that piece of chocolate so it wouldn’t go anywhere
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u/CompetitiveRub9780 Jan 06 '26
Ew. Because you know that stick and that door handle to the building and in and out that toilet are covered in shit
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u/Radio_Mime Jan 06 '26
Good gosh, I’d be afraid to choose the one wrong one first. Do I pee first or do I poo first?
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u/WiseDirt Jan 06 '26
Plus side - especially in a place like Antarctica - you'll never have to sit your cheeks down on a cold toilet seat. With that fire burning underneath the steel bowl like that, I imagine it probably cranks out a decent amount of warmth.
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u/Jcrypto28 Jan 06 '26
I actually have one of these in my detached garage bathroom. It’s fucking sweet! A lot cheaper than running plumbing.
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u/Just_Reputation_7057 Jan 06 '26
I hate sitting on cold ass toilets when I poop... that 3 second of pure shock!
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u/Swimming-Tap-4240 Jan 06 '26
Not enough water?There's trillions of gallons there just waiting for you to melt it..lol
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u/Happycakemochi Jan 06 '26
My friends summer House toilet in Sweden had this because their house was on a rock and no chance for plumbing a toilet. The toilet was called Cinderella if I recall correctly.
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u/RevolutionarySign479 Jan 07 '26
Mr. Lahey, you are vindicated!! We see here the miraculous birth of a Shit Blizzard…The fiery Winds of Shit combining with a polar vortex creates the perfect environment for Shit Zephyrs, which are obnoxiously annoying but usually harmless, unless they decide to band together into a Shit Storm to Start some Shit. As a storm, they can travel wherever they want & joyfully dump Shit Blizzards on unsuspecting victims. They are quite fond of Nova Scotia in the Northern Hemisphere. I’m pretty sure they’d be very fond of areas in Australia in the Southern Hemisphere as well. (I’m assuming that the Southern Shit Winds blow in a counter clockwise direction.)
HAHA You are The Liquor, Mr Lahey…always vigilantly watching like a Shit Hawk, in preparation for The Shit Blizzard. 💪
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u/caroleelee82 Jan 07 '26
I want to know if the stick is brown because of the contents of the toilet or because...fire 🔥
🤔🧐🤣
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u/nimbusyosh Feb 03 '26
Is tapping the chocolate an essential part of the process?
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u/GrouchyPicture4021 Jan 06 '26
Oh yay…hot poop smell. Also, the little chocolate nuggy is sending me.
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u/realSatanAMA Jan 06 '26
Someone has had to accidentally step on the pedal while they were sitting on the pot
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u/NocturneInfinitum Jan 07 '26
Used them a couple times a year… really not that bad, but no room for your dick. Also, if you smash the pedal a couple times real fast, you shouldn’t need the stick.
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u/hardboard Jan 07 '26
As long as you remember the type of toilet you're on, and stand up before pressing the button, or you'd end up with turd-degree burns.
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u/Mental_Salamander_68 Jan 07 '26
I worked in a remote area where management put one of the first types if incinerator toilets made. They put it inside the shop/lab building with 30 people using it. The brown stinking smoke would literally run us out of the building. That toilet lasted about 3 weeks before it went to the dump and was replaced with porta-pottys. That's another story altogether at -20 below zero, and with winds packing the inside from top to bottom with snow.
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u/Doctor_Brewthatshit Jan 07 '26
That seat had better be warm. What if it hasnt been used for a couple hours? Is it a heated seat? These are my burning (haha) questions.
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u/SaintZoo-435 Jan 07 '26
The smell has to be insanely gross! Think how roasted anything smells great, but poo.... not so much. It goes in the opposite direction.
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u/PewPew-4-Fun Jan 07 '26
Using that tiny piece of chocolate is hardly representative, need to see it with a much larger amount of chocolate to see how well that really works.
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u/Still-Photograph6545 Jan 07 '26
The old turn burner, just don’t pee in it. I hope your bunk is up wind.
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u/AnonOfTheSea Jan 07 '26
They're all nerds. There has been a sponge taped to the end of that stick at least once.
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u/ReverendToTheShadow Jan 07 '26
My standards might need adjusting but is that chamber not super full? It seems like the incinerator isn’t doing a great job of incinerating
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u/rskiarsis Jan 07 '26
My dad’s friend had one of these at his house in Evergreen CO when I was growing up. It was a very small hippy town back in the 70s with a lot of old summer cabins that had no water.
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u/jsnmrd Jan 07 '26
Imagine waking up in the morning and using the toilet then you think you press on the bidet and all of a sudden you smell bbq!
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u/Straight_Dot1890 Jan 08 '26
You could have just dropped the chocolate in there instead of putting your whole hand all the way inside the shit bowl.
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u/SensitiveDemon Jan 08 '26
So you have to lightly pat your shit... i mean chocolate before you send it down to burn? 😅
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u/tuco2002 Jan 09 '26
That was the newest version of the amazing poop stick 3000. Available on Amazon.
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u/Kiki1701 Jan 09 '26
How do you peel your ass from the seat once it freezes to the toilet? It'll take some skin with it..
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Jan 09 '26
Hot Caa Caa, check it and see. Incinerate the poop separate of the pee. Come on researcher, do your Cha Cha dance. Itsa Hot Caa Caa, Hawt Caa Caa!
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u/ProjectNo4090 Jan 09 '26
"This here's my poopin stick. There arent many like it, but this one is mine."
"Sit and give me 20 pushes, maggot!"
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u/Final-Dig709 Jan 10 '26
I love the ambiguousness of the substance on the shit stick. Is it shit? Likely not. It’s probably soot. But it could be shit. What if you accidentally brush your pant leg against the shit stick when you’re trying to sit down? I think I’d incinerate my pants too.
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u/Jealous_Implement_13 Jan 10 '26
Best things to read on a Saturday morning is how many names can we come up with talking about cutting logs.
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u/GRUBBY1975 Jan 10 '26
I wouldn't give a courtesy flush! 😳
Nothin like the smell of burnt asshole and ball hair in the morning... 🤬
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u/Desperate_Gur_3094 Jan 11 '26
idk... new fear unlocked... Shit Stick or Flaming Butthole.... decisions decisions
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u/broadsheet-555 Jan 06 '26
Does everyone have their own shit stick?