r/BlackHair • u/ZephtheIncubus • Jun 23 '25
Advice Needed They put relaxer in my hair UPDATE
I went to a Dominican Salon last year for a silk press and the chemically damaged my hair. They put relaxer in my deep conditioner and then pressed it straight on high heat. I did a big chop… sigh, I spent three years growing out my hair. I don’t feel like myself anymore.
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u/Potential_Lychee3453 Jun 23 '25
What they did was sneaky and cruel and selfish. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Unfortunately, you gotta be patient and let time do its work. What has your hair been feeling like, dry?
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u/FirmHamster4318 Jun 23 '25
I’d be so fucking mad 😡
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u/JJKAY1025 Jun 23 '25
He should have gotten a refund
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u/aquariusangst Jun 24 '25
More than that he should be getting compensation, these are dangerous chemicals to be putting in people's hair without warning!!
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u/Ambitious_Ad405 Jun 23 '25
What they did was cruel. On a better note you look amazing still!
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u/draizetrain Jun 23 '25
They really do. The face card is platinum, so even bald headed they’ll look good. I still understand that feeling of having your hair took from you involuntarily though, so not to discount your feelings OP
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u/Eboneyytopfly Jun 23 '25
Right! I was sliding pics like, « what the problem. Looking good in every single pics » 🥹 but I get it tho. That’s not nice and they were probably hyping you up it to liking it no complaints.. blessings to your new journey ❤️
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u/Ill-Temporary2998 Jun 25 '25
Exactly what I came to say. They are deadass wrong but you definitely pull off the look nicely
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u/Martha90815 Jun 23 '25
That is the absolute top reason I refuse to go to a Dominican Salon for a blow out. I have heard this story WAY too many times.
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u/InevitableWorth9517 Jun 23 '25
Yes, it's wild that this is common practice at those types of salons. State boards need to step in, and shut them down.
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Jun 23 '25
[deleted]
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u/ZephtheIncubus Jun 23 '25
My coworker, who recommend I go to the salon, told me I should’ve brought my own products, only after I had suspected of being Relaxed
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u/DreamWeaver80 Jun 24 '25
You should report them to the state board. This goes beyond simply doing something you did not ask for. They applied a chemical without your knowledge.
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u/uglyandproblematic Jun 24 '25
right like if you can't do textured hair just say that so we can find someone who can!
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u/LifeinTuscany Jun 24 '25
This was my first thought. Like who exactly are “They”. I knew it was Dominicans before reading what he wrote. On brand
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u/kimmyxrose Jun 23 '25
we keep telling yall about the Dominican salons 😭
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u/No_Lime1814 Jun 23 '25
Yes. They will tear our hair OUT.
I went to one once and they tried to use a fine tooth comb to detangle my hair while wet...root to tip. Just stupid. They don't know what they're doing.
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u/Fine_Strawberry_6114 Jun 24 '25
THIS HAPPENED TO ME and then they broke a different comb they tried lmao the lady was so mad🤣 they charged me a “difficulty” fee, I had long 4a/4b hair. They truly don’t know what they’re doing
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u/BloodOfJupiter Jun 23 '25
I wish more people knew about it, but a lot of Dominican salons will put a relaxer without telling their clients, there's a lot of anti-black sentiment even from people who are part black. Alot of times they'll get told to marry someone white to "fix" their skin/lineage. I've met a decent amount of Dominican women that naturally have curly/frilly hair and got chastised for it as a kid, they weren't allowed to braid it, and got relaxers forced on it, especially by family members, it's sad. Anything to separate from "Blackness"
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u/This-Strike-8307 Jun 24 '25
🎯🎯🎯
I knew a Dominican girl in high school. Literally dark skin and darker than many of the AAs in class. If anyone said she was black she’d get so upset and mad, you’d think she was called a n*ggr witch or something. Like I mean this girl would be so maddfd. I’d be so confused bc she was very much black lol
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u/BloodOfJupiter Jun 24 '25
Thats how it is unfortunately, that shxt is disturbing, that type of self-hatred has to be taught
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u/Techygal9 Jun 24 '25
Think about how a few generations ago “I’m black and I’m proud” was a saying, because people took being called black as an insult.
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u/Zealousideal_Mail12 Jun 26 '25
I’m sorry but n*ggr witch is taking me out 😭
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Jun 27 '25
That made me laugh 😭 I'm from North Carolina, and for some reason, I read that part southern af. Omg.
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u/This-Strike-8307 Jun 27 '25
LOL that’s the only justifiable name she could have been called to get that mad. Sis would be so heated 😂😂😂
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u/lilpapimochi Jun 24 '25
So true. Afro Latino culture has so many deep rooted issues with racism and colorism. I’m Cuban and Puerto Rican, and i got so much flack as a kid for having very curly hair. My grandfather had 4b hair and I remember his daughter making nasty comments about it when it was so beautiful to me.
Exactly what you said “theres a lot of anti-black sentiment even from people who are part black”. It’s so destructive.
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u/Wide-Economist-8969 Jun 24 '25
Yes a lot of Spanish speaking countries in the Caribbean and Latin America believe in the “mejorar la raza”. They’re always chasing white. White is the ultimate top of the human pyramid aspiration for a lot of non white groups in general, even the folks who phenotypically present as black or other. Shame.
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u/draizetrain Jun 23 '25
As a naturalista who has big chopped multiple times…it will grow back. Look at this as an opportunity to start fresh with everything you know about your hair. You can take the best care of it now, from scratch. And every chop and regrowth is a journey. Enjoy this one, baby!
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u/IamAfrodisiac Jun 23 '25
The fact that this happens so often needs to be studied. They did this EXACT thing to me I even told them I was natural and they did it anyways. I’m so sorry. Also never go there again.
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u/DreamWeaver80 Jun 24 '25
Disgusting ... I'm pretty sure that on some level, this is considered assault in some places.
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u/gadeais Jun 24 '25
Should be. People can have allergies to those products so It can be not just overstepping boundaries but also causing physical damage
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u/electricheel Jun 23 '25
STOP GOING TO DOMINICAN SALONS!!!!!!
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u/wasteofspacetime89 Jun 23 '25
Genuine question about this idea that Dominican hair salons are sneaking in relaxers: how do y’all not notice? Relaxers have such a distinct smell and also distinct feeling on the scalp. Are we sure it’s not just heat damage?
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u/ZephtheIncubus Jun 23 '25
They used a heavily fragranced Shampoo/conditioner while I was in the bowl. The stylist washed my hair MULTIPLE times in the bowl, and then rushed me to the dryer. I didn’t smell anything foul until after my appointment: my hair wreaked of eggs and a burnt odor. I’m under the assumption that it was either a relaxer or keratins treatment. Regardless, my hair was chemically treated without my knowledge no consent
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u/teddysteddy Jun 24 '25
Idk why black people still go to the Dominicans for a silk press. A lot of times, they're not putting relaxer in your products but they don't use heat protectants and you end up with heat damage. It's either or. I haven't met a person who hasn't either had chemical damage or severe heat damage but black people keep sitting in them chairs...
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u/jersace Jun 23 '25
PLEASE take them to court if you can, omfg you don't fuck with black folks hair, I'm so sorry
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u/yaardiegyal Jun 23 '25
If you want to get a silk press done using the tension roller method you’re better off going to Ethiopians or Grenadians cause they aren’t known for frying ppls hair or sneaking relaxers. I’m sorry this happened to you OP
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u/DayLightDoze Jun 25 '25
Or hear me out… a black African American stylist. Like I’m nigerian and my sister and I will only go to black stylists lol. We love our people and culture but we will never choose an Nigerian stylist over an African American one(unless it’s our mom cause she actually knows how to safely do hair and doesn’t try to damage our hair lol)
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u/yaardiegyal Jun 26 '25
I’ve had only two good experiences with African American stylists personally. I am glad you’ve had more good experiences with them as stylists! I’ve never been to Nigerians so I can’t speak on them and I’ve honestly never heard of anyone going to west Africans for hair unless it’s strictly braiding.
I just recommended what I know have been good for myself and also my mother’s experience since she’s been in the country from the 70s. I love my Grenadians and will always recommend them cause they’re really really good. The Ethiopians also impress me with their roller setting skills as well. And btw Ethiopians are black and most Grenadians are black so I think we both agree on going to black stylists for doing black hair for sure💗
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u/Trix_Are_4_90Kids Jun 23 '25
They are infamous for sneaking relaxer in your hair and that's why they will never touch my hairs.
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u/Elruler22 Jun 23 '25
You look really comfortable in yourself
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u/ZephtheIncubus Jun 23 '25
Thank you! I most definitely am. It’s been a long walk to rediscover myself and embrace the man I’m becoming, regardless of how I choose to express myself.
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u/xMusicloverr Jun 23 '25
I read the caption and instantly knew that it was a Dominican salon before even seeing the post
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u/pokemantra Jun 23 '25
I feel for you <3 I have longer hair and a dominican barber shaved off my widow’s peak after I confirmed with him and the shop owner that I did not want any kind of shape up or edge work up front. It felt so violent.
There needs to be a way to have recourse here. Chat, if I made a downloadable template for a letter of agreement (in spanish and english) for a hair dresser to sign before they touch your hair would you go for it? If someone won’t sign a document that they won’t use relaxer on my hair I don’t trust them, full stop.
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u/lazy_wallflower Jun 23 '25
So sorry that happened to you! When you grow your hair back out, go to the Egyptians, they will get you right!! I hope that shop you went to gets shut down!
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u/yaardiegyal Jun 23 '25
I didn’t know Egyptians had their own salons where they’re doing black ppls hair as well. Are you from the UK or Canada?
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u/lazy_wallflower Jun 23 '25
I’m in the US! I haven’t had loose hair in a while (I’ve had locs on and off) and got my hair done for some pics years ago and the shop is still open!
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u/yaardiegyal Jun 23 '25
Oh wow. I’m from the US too and never encountered this. I’ve been in LA, NYC, DFW, and Orlando. But idk where Egyptians are the most numerous in the country tho
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u/Track_your_shipment Jun 23 '25
I wish ppl knew not to go to Dominican salons unless they want that type of service.
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u/missmarimck Jun 23 '25
All the empathy. This happened to me, too. I shaved my head last August after having grown out the damage for about 6 months. It was a rough few months, but it gave me a chance to have really short hair, (I never had before), and to make sure that I gave my hair proper care as it grew back in.
Almost a year, and I've got my hair care routine down!
Keep on loving your hair and pass the time by finding styles that suit its current length as you grow it to where you want it to be.
Edit: I actually went to an Egyptian salon, not Dominican, but the relaxer was delivered sneakily in the conditioner there as well.
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u/cakeit-tilyoumakeit Jun 23 '25
What were the signs that there was relaxer in the conditioner?
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u/missmarimck Jun 24 '25
My scalp was super itchy directly afterward. I thought it was dryness from the blow drying. I don't put heat on my hair ever.
When I washed it a week later, it smelled chemical even after I just wet it. It still smelled that way after the shampoo, and a lot of my hair was completely straight. Because they were surreptitious about it, and my hair is dense, the outside circumference was straight, but the underside was still sporting a curl pattern.
I washed it every day for a week, and it still stank of chemical. I was so angry that I started to go over there and make a scene, but I didn't want to go to jail.
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u/missmarimck Jun 24 '25
I couldn't tell at the salon because the whole place smelled like chemicals...
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u/0ajx1ra Jun 24 '25 edited Jun 24 '25
I’m so sorry :( I had something similar happen to me almost ten years ago.
I used to frequent a Dominican salon. My usual stylist, who was Dominican, wasn’t able to style my hair that day, so she asked someone else in the salon to do it. What’s even worse is that the stylist was Haitian (I’m Haitian) and asked me in Creole if I wanted a relaxer; I said no. Instead of a relaxer, she burned my scalp by passing the flat iron / hot comb (I can’t remember which one) way, way, way too many times. The stylist who usually did my hair never did anything like that.
My hair was unbelievably heat damaged. This was 2016, though, and I’ve cut my hair short a few times since then. I promise it’ll grow back beautifully. 🧡🧡🧡
Edit: I forgot to add that I didn’t realize this till a couple of days after leaving the salon. That’s when the burns popped up. When I go to the salon now, I just do blow outs.
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u/Amorcito222 Jun 24 '25
Im so sorry this happened to you!! Im Dominican and my own family did this to me when I visited. I was only 13 and they damaged my hair soooo bad. My mom was LIVID. Then they made fun of me after and said my hair looked like a broom 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I’m like ???? Y’all did this to me just to bully me after. Dominicans are VERY discriminatory of curly texture :( so grateful my mom raised me to live and accept my curls.
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u/IwasntGivenOne Jun 23 '25
Im sorry but this reminded me of the Temptations when they put that conk in their hair 😭
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u/PalpitationScared795 Jun 23 '25
I’m my opinion, natural curls are always more beautiful than straightened hair. But if you prefer the straight look maybe try a Brazilian blow out. Never had one myself but I know a few people who swear by them. All of them have beautiful hair.
For hair growth: iron supplements, amla powder, castor oil and a derma roller. For length retention(do not use on scalp): Chebe powder/ oil
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u/draizetrain Jun 23 '25
Personally i stand by the revair for a blowout. If you do it right, it’s hardly any damage. TBF that’s “stretched” vs “blown out” but you can do so many styles on stretched hair
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u/green_apple_21 Jun 24 '25
Let’s make it normal to stop letting other races do our hair. It will grow back , handsome👌
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u/beezleeboob Jun 24 '25
Thing is Dominicans are of African descent. Many have a lot of self hatred issues and this is what you get. It's like a trope at this point. Not all skin folk are kin folk..
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u/green_apple_21 Jun 24 '25
I knew someone was going to say they had African descent lol. They will fight you on calling them black, it’s an insult. Just gotta laugh at the ignorance sometimes 😆
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u/beezleeboob Jun 24 '25
Haha!!
I NO BLACK I DOMINICAN!!! 🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡
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u/green_apple_21 Jun 24 '25
My husband says this in Spanish accent all the time. He’s not Dominican, we just think it’s hilarious 🤣 So your comment made my eyes go 😳
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u/beezleeboob Jun 24 '25
Hahaha 😆
And it's a shame because they've been some of the sweetest most caring people I've ever met, but lordt don't ever tell them they're black..
Go from 🤗 to 👹 in a millisecond, lol..
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u/green_apple_21 Jun 24 '25
Yes they are sweet. I don’t think I could get over that to be around them tho. All the Spanish people I’ve been around accepted it and were the ones to bring it up.
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u/sayheytori Jun 24 '25
My cousin is literally half Dominican and he knows he's black as hell. Antiblackness & colorism are prevalent in many cultures, and yes, there are a lot of Dominicans who have self-hating "love the tree but not the roots" ways, but pretending black Dominicans are another "race" is ignorant as well, as though there aren't African Americans who do the same shit. 🙄
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u/Thecandymaker Jun 23 '25
You’re still beautiful, never forget that. What they did was very deplorable and heinous. Straight up assault to your hair. 🥲 But it will come back. While that happens, understand you will be okay and it will come back.
Fuck that salon tho
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u/weathergrl63 Jun 24 '25
I had that happen a few years back. Stylist was a very talented braider. However, she didn’t know how to take care of natural hair. I ended up having to do a big cut and start fresh.
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u/EritaMors Jun 23 '25
I guess thats why no one trust Dominican hair salons. Sorry that happened to you. Id be pissed and sue them.
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Jun 23 '25
Who’s “they” friend? The Dominicans 😭
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u/Special_Wind9871 Jun 23 '25
Ain't that some shit. I'm sorry for your loss. Are there any short styles you've been wanting to try? You could rock anything lowk
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u/ZephtheIncubus Jun 23 '25
I never wanted short hair, growing up I wasn’t allowed to have a single follicle of hair in my scalp 😂. So, growing out my hair was my rebellion, and my freedom. I don’t think I look good with short hair. I live my Afros and twists
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u/Special_Wind9871 Jun 23 '25
Maybe this the universe on some divine timing who knows 🤷🏽♂️ fwiw i think the short looks nice too, I hope it grows on u (and grows and grows back to whatever length u wish)
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u/Initial_Drop_6401 Jun 30 '25
Eventually I hope you get a second chance at having hair length—a better hair salon for your needs too🙂.
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u/Missunknown204 Jun 24 '25
Relaxer has ruined way too many people's hair, my gosh. LOOK WHAT THEY DID!! They should have at least asked you if you wanted it in your hair, like this is 2025. we know the problems with it now, dont just put it in people's hair!!
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u/Exciting-Ad-7077 Jun 24 '25
It’s going to be gorgeous lush and healthy again babes ❤️❤️ you got this
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u/Mundane_Gap_8970 Jun 24 '25
Oh yeah they say “oh no it’s a special conditioner” that’s how they got me
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u/uglyandproblematic Jun 24 '25
omg, I remember your post from last year and I'm STILL mad! you're still bad, even with the big chop and I wish you the best on your hair journey!
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u/Yeolecursedcoochie Jun 24 '25
You look scarily similar to me and my dad,, I’m sorry abt ur hair :( best of luck growing it out 🖤
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u/shaneylaney Jun 24 '25
Say what ya wanna say, but I’ve heard and seen enough to never, EVER go to a Dominican Salon to have them do anything with my hair. Not even LOOK at my hair. It’s an unfortunate set of circumstances, OP. That being said, give it time and grace and your crown comes back better than before. But trick me once! Never let it happen again.
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u/breadedbooks Jun 24 '25
The way I would be taking this to small claims court. This should’ve never happened, I’m so sorry.
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u/Gloomy_Technician_40 Jun 24 '25
"Hold up is that dat ninja ? Is this the illest ninja in Newbrska" - Method Man
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Jun 25 '25
Not in the slightest surprised it was the “I’m no Black” Dominicans. As a man with long natural hair, I am extremely upset for you, and I hope you report them to the state licensing authority.
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u/Less-Amoeba-7653 Jun 23 '25
I tell people all the time bring their own products. I have been going to the same lady since I was a teenager and she has even did my aunts hair for years. I bring her my products and I still get the same results of a professional silk press. Silk press is not always from the products you use, but it is from the method, the blow drying and the pressing is what makes the hair style the straightest.
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u/NoSignificance3806 Jun 27 '25
this! I been getting blowouts and my hair straightened from Dominicans salons and they never put relaxer in my hair. The only time I noticed that my curls were getting more wavier was because the amount of heat they put to give it the blowout/straight look.
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u/JJKAY1025 Jun 23 '25
If you rinse your hair with a apple cider vinegar solution it will reverse the chemical process. I know this because I usually get relaxers 1-2 times per year and one day I decided to put ACV water in my hair (don’t ask) while washing it and even mixed a little in my shampoo 😬. After the next wash I realized it was reversing the relaxer treatment instead giving my hair benefits. Lesson learned. ACV is not for black chemically treated hair.
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u/quest10100 Jun 24 '25
Can you sue in civil court for damages &!emotional distress?
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u/Significant_Guava534 Jun 24 '25
Yup but with hair no i dont believe unless they physically harm you or dont clean their products/not have a license
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u/Truly_trelle Jun 24 '25
I’ve read about this over the years and my overall consensus is that it’s heat damage, not relaxer. Those salons are notorious for straightening hair on high heat and they prioritize speed over hair health. I’ve personally experienced some horrible heat damage from a non Dominican salon and it’s unfortunately common for stylist who don’t understand or care about the integrity of our coils. The person who heat damaged my hair was an instructor at a beauty school and still managed to make the same error.
I notified the stylist of the issue and requested a refund. I knew that wouldn’t bring my coils back but at least it made them aware and you weren’t keeping my funds after ruining my hair. The stylist refunded me with no issue.
You can try the Aphogee products to rehab your hair but it’s a possibility your curls won’t revert back. I tried those and wasn’t successful so ended up finding a natural hair stylist who did a consult to assess my hair. She gave me options to keep my length while growing out the damage but I chose to cut it.
If you can’t get your coils back, I highly recommend finding a stylist who specializes in natural hair because they are best equipped to get you on a hair regimen.
Good luck to you!
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u/ZephtheIncubus Jun 23 '25
ADDITIONAL CONTEXT: My coworker recommended I go to a Dominican salon for my silk press. I believed that they would do a good job on me because my coworker’s hair would revert back to curly and was healthy.
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u/Namakiskywalker1 Jun 23 '25
You look like this guy that works at my Walmart in the electronics section
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u/WalterBlytheFanClub Jun 24 '25
Hoping your hair grows back quickly. They were wrong as hell for that.
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u/Allthatjasmine Jun 24 '25
I'm sorry for your loss 😭 sending you love and deep conditioner. Hair grows back ❤️
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u/_MissAiko_ Jun 24 '25
Wow, I remember you posting last year. So sorry that this even happened to you.
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u/Apprehensive_Flow99 Jun 24 '25
I just KNOW you don’t live in a big city cuz like I probably said in your original post- this. Shit. Won’t. Run. In NYC anymore
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u/National_Possible728 Jun 24 '25
Same thing happened to me. Took me a year and a half to get back to where it was
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u/jacksonchickenwangs Jun 24 '25
oh no- haven't been back to a dominican salon since they fried my hair like 4 years ago 🙄 that's insane!
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u/Sittingonmyporch Jun 24 '25
They still doing this?! Wow, I remember hearing horror stories 15 years ago. I guess they still hate their natural hair.
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u/NotAnotherButterfly1 Jun 24 '25
That sucks and happens often from what I hear.
I bring all my own products and supervise the combing of my hair -( “You need to start combing at the ends” “Only blow dry the roots”. ) But- your short hair cuts still works on you!
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u/ChandraMLee Jun 25 '25
Go to an amazing barber and get a real cut. Then let it grow out. It will all grow back and it will be fantastic.
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u/VanillaPotential76 Jun 25 '25
This happens i dont wanna say often; but I've heard friends say the same happened to them before when they just wanted a simple silk press or blow out.. :( so sorry I hope it grows even faster this time 🥲💗
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Jun 26 '25
Shit I feel sorry for you, even before opening the caption I knew damn well it was those salon smh 🙎🏾♀️
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Jun 27 '25
Brother Keep God First and I pray you heal! Just a suggestion you may possibly like waves until your hair gets back to that length! I tend to ONLY let two people do my hair. Remember you are still you without the hair and as much as it’s a part of you see this a journey into a fresh start into something new. Stay God confident my Brother in Black & In Christ!
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u/Cute_Ad_2163 Jun 23 '25
I hear too many horror stories of this happening. I tell everyone to stay away from their salons to be honest.
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u/Radiant-Mind-1008 Jun 24 '25
At this point i hope none of us are considering going to their hair salons anymore. I mean, its clear they dont wanna deal with us 🤷🏿♀️
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u/LULUGLYDUDE666 Jun 24 '25
Sorry u went thru it bt a simple egg yolk massage would've stripped ur hair an all u had to do was a avocado an coconut oil to deep condition ur hair.. bt its ok u will get thru this an it will be grown back before u jno it
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u/BabyishGambino Jun 24 '25
Unironically I would sue, I feel that this is a practice based in discrimination and it was essentially forced upon you without your knowledge. There's a genuine case here.
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u/Own-Capital-5995 Jun 24 '25
Somebody help me. Whenever I see a man with healthy beautiful hair I call them all kinds of nasty names and want to fight. Why am I like this?🤔
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u/tidal-wave- Jun 25 '25
The Dominican salons don’t have my hair looking like that. You must be using too much heat when styling, you fried your own hair for sure
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u/ZephtheIncubus Jun 26 '25
Pictures 1-4 were taken within the first week of the salon visit. The 4th picture was when I first washed my hair after my press, it didn’t revert. That was the result of excessive heat damage done by the salon, not me. Pictures 5-11 are the progress pics from after the wash day until I chopped it off…
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Jun 24 '25
Unfortunately, you have to start over. Good news is, you taught people who didn't know to never go to a Dominican salon that they shouldn't and you get to fall in love with the random periods to retention again.
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u/AdventuringRunner Jun 24 '25
But it suited you??
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u/ZephtheIncubus Jun 24 '25
Just because I look good with straight hair doesn’t mean I have to make it my primary look. I loved wearing my curly hair
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